Eid Mubarak

Here's wishing everyone a happy and prosperous Eid Mubarak. It marks the culmination of Ramadan after our Muslim brethren undergo the rigorous fasting period of 40 days, deprived of water, food and avoiding toxic stuffs such as cigarette and alcohol. My Eid wish: All human beings, irrespective of their religious beliefs, share love, mutual respect and brotherhood for each other. I really believe that no man or women should hate each other on basis of religion and we can achieve national unity. Perhaps I'm an utopian but I think that we can learn from each other's religious belief and on what better day to wish for unity: Eid. We have so much to learn from each other's culture and after Eid, comes Ganesh Chaturthi. There are places in India where Hindu fast for Ramadan and muslim keep fast for Gamesh Chaturthi and Durga Puja. Well, it's admirable and what better example of understanding and mutual respect. It evokes the respect of an atheist like me who never believed in any form of God or religious dogma, for that matter.
On Eid, I hit the kitchen for the first time after a hiatus of four years, the time I was a student in Pune and Mumbai. Err! Mumbai not really coz I was in the hostel and there is now way I could have turned my tiny room facing Marine Drive into a mini kitchen. I know that I am pretty messed up but my degree of insanity didn't dashed with the breeze at my sea-facing window. After all, my room was also facing the Telang's girl hostel at Mumbai. I dint wanna to throw the food prepared towards the hot chicks, saying baby have it:).
Back to the kitchen: Yes, Sepo has inspired me to cook,owing to her blog post on Kashmiri dishes.I chose the simplest and easiest Roganjosh (Red Mutton). I must admit that I didn't bought the most important ingredients to make the dish and had to do with whatever I had in mom's dearest kitchen. Well, the result was not fab but decent. Pointer: I mixed up mutton and chicken masala and I think that this experimentation saved my Roganjosh. The taste turned out to be nice and I enjoyed my dinner to the full. Yes Sneha Bhat alias Sepo, it turned out to be tasty and thanks for driving me to the kitchen. Next time, I promise to come up with a proper Roganjosh. It do feel nice to prepare something in the kitchen and who says a guy's place is not in the kitchen sometimes. It's better than sex at times.
It feels nice to see your off day falling on a public holiday as you are not sitting in the office and cribbing to yourself as to how you would enjoy the day off at home. Well, I thank my stars for that. I lazed around at home,sending Eid Mubarak sms to an ex-flame, trying to read PG Wodehouse, blogging and watching Amitabh Bachchan in Main Azaad Hoon. It's a thinking movie about life and the value-system we believe in. Wonder when ever will we realise that we will 'free' ourselves as human beings!
That's how an out-of-the-ordinary day ends. There are certain stuffs that I was able to do while others were left unattended much to my dismay. Then why complain? One cannot have everything in the world and as they say it's a dog day. The eyes lids are battling and time to hit the bed, baby if I don't wanna staring at ma computer at work, all sleepy morrow.
Love N Peace

Happyyy Independence Day...Bharat Mata ki Jai

Today, India celebrates its 65th anniversary and its 66th Independence Day. One night, August 15, 1947 we were granted freedom from the shackles of the British rule. We were oppressed by the British power and as we set to attain an Economic Growth of 7 per cent in 2012, it seems that we are set to become of the mightiest economic power in the world.
Men and Women laid their lives and shed blood that the present generation and future generation can breathe free and that freedom of speech is ensured. Today, there are several challenges that India faces and first and foremost is to combat corruption and ensure that no poor man or women is discriminated against. Secondly, is our combat against terrorism which is a source of constant worry for us. Thirdly, and perhaps the most important one and in which I strongly believe is the divide between rural and urban India. For a country that aims to become the super economic power, we cannot afford to neglect rural areas and there is a need to empower the poor. The solution is: Education, education and education. There is a dire need to give them resources that is at par with big cities and this will lead to their economic empowerment. Let's all join hands to combat poverty through this tool called education.
What does freedom means for me as a young Indian? It means a lot and it's the sacrifice made by my forefathers so that I can breathe freely. I am at Indian at root and there is nothing on earth that can make me forget where I can truly belong, no matter where I am in this world. Whenever, I see an Indian shines be it the cricket world champion and our heroes at the Olympic game, it gives me immense pride. Whenever I hear the national anthem, Jnana Gana Mana..tears roll down my cheek and remind me how fortunate I am to have Indian root.
Who says Indians want to leave the country and settle somewhere else? Even if I am not in India, I want to come back and serve the country. Today, many Indians settled abroad or the generation that were born in the country where their forefathers and parents have settled want to come back to their true and original motherland. It is a country rich in legacy and vibrant. Gals and guyzz, we are not called the biggest democracy for nothing.
There is something that I didnt know and I thought of sharing with you. It educated me on our power as a vibrant nation and I hope it educate you also.
No one, I may add, travels thousands of miles to conquer a poor country. Statistics published by contemporary international scholars are proof for sceptics. In 1750, seven years before the fateful battle of Plassey, India had 24.5% of World Manufacturing Output while United Kingdom had only 1.9%. In other words, one in every four goods on the world market was manufactured in India. By 1900, India had been left with only 1.7% of World Manufacturing Output and Britain had risen to 18.5%. The western industrial revolution was in its incipient stages in the 18th century, but even in this regard India slipped from 7 to 1 in per capita industrialisation in that period, while Britain vaulted from 10 to 100. Between 1900 and 1947 India's economic growth was an annual average of 1%.
This shows that India was not a poor country when it was under colonial power but the Britishers used the theory of rule and divide. They used Indian labour and took them to countries such as Fiji, Trinidad and Mauritius and made them work for peanuts. The Indians have settled in these countries but many have forgotten their roots as well but some have upheld their culture and the Indian dignity.
Long Live the Republic of India
Jai Hind
Happyy Independence Day

Proud To Be An Indian

Love calculator (2)

It was the start of the chilling winter. He was struck by the bullet which pierced his chest. No, he is not the soldier caught in the middle of the Indo-Pak war. He first saw her at his best friend's engagement and he was struck by her long and beautiful black hair, her killer looks and intense eyes as she strutted towards the 'mandap' accompanying the bride. As she upped her gaze, she sports a smile towards him. This sent a jittery down his spine as he found the lamest of excuse to say Hi. After the marriage vow of their best friends, they exchanged numbers and e-mails promising to keep in touch with each other. What looked like an innocent crush turned out to be restlessness and the act of falling in love.
This is a familiar scene from the novel called life, isn't it? So many of us will identify with the nameless characters asserting copyright on them and shouting, "That's my story." Well, think again. Love is an oxymoron. Or shall I say, when the bug bites you, there is no chance to think twice about it as you get swayed away by the L-world. No love calculation or logical and rational reasoning of the mind maketh your brain immune by the 'fantastic feeling' of being in love. You shall wake up with a smile that adorns your otherwise dull facial expression. You jump as she sends you an sms or drop a hi on your g-chat. You feel like dancing to the very thought of being love. At first sight, one can't be sure whether it's love or a kinda passing feeling but one is unwilling to chuck out the feeling of being a demi greek God.
The average homo-sapien is the most irrational human being when it comes to emotional quotient. This claim has been supported by economists in the world.We do irrational things when in love coz the mind is fickle and knows no logic. Touche! Love knows no logic as we are accused of thinking from the heart and not from the brain. Ahem! Ahem! But, if there was no heart, would the brain fucking exist?! The answer is a big No..na na na. Moving on from the process of a simple-si crush to the second level from falling love and moving up the third level sorrow. It prod us to ask whether we are ready to walk the tried-and-tested method of sorrow..we've been there and done that. Despite our heart broke into zillions pieces and promising that we neva gonna fall in this crap called love, it just fucking happen. As they say, S H I T happens! True, it does. We wish for the happiness to stay forever and we fool ourselves in believing that we shall not face rejection. We may refuse the see the stark reality facing us in the start coz we dunno want our happiness to be snatched away. We shall not face the reality of rejection.
The meaning of love is also expectations. How many times have we looked at our cellphones expecting an sms or wishing that she calls at the wee hours in the morning! We stay awake throughout the night but..bah! disappointment creeps in. Her number doesn't even flash in our miss call log! We soo want to send a miss call but some inner voice discourages us. Sometimes,we just get carried away by numbness and send a miss call which shall get no response. Our logic fails us or the love calculator has simply gone kaput. Our heart is no google and we shall get no answer by googling. Does she care for me or she just doesn't? So many questions left unanswered. Do I make a fucking difference to her life? We try to reason with ourselves that we gotta move on. Screw the love-shove ka feeling only to go back to the stage of falling in love and sitting on our computer waiting for her to pinge on FB chat. We just wanna throw the lap top and the cellphone away in a fit of rage as we pour alcohol to drown our sorrow and pen a poem. Then, we realize that we cannot force someone to love us back It is a philosophy of believing in something and it's called free love. We cannot expect someone to love us back but should that deter us from loving?! It shouldn't deter us from falling in love since I never took permission to fall in love with Uuuu. It's the most beautiful feeling and I gonna enjoy every moment of falling in love with you. I also know that some day I will move on but I shall cherish the beautiful and magical moments of life.
Tragedy strikes when I love you and you are in love with someone. The most dramatic aspect unfurls when you are oblivious of my feeling for you. I feel trapped in love. Tell me: How long can I fight with myself? My heart tells me to fall in love with you and my brain tells me to avoid since I am the one who will lose my self through sleepless nights and sorrow. I mulled over the futility of falling in love with you and examine the pros and cons of the beautiful feeling called love coz I know that you may not be permanent in my life.Finally, my love calculator comes into play. It takes long to realize that I gonna let you go coz it's in our better interests. Still, I don't wanna hurt your feelings coz you are so dear to me. Still, is it love or its the case of mistaken identity? Some term it the change in hormones and not love..honestly, I dunno.
At times, I feel that I should tell you as what lies in my heart but then love calculator tells me not to after weighing the pros and cons of love. Love is such a confusing calculation. Zillion questions races to my mind which turns into a volcano. Sometimes, I feel that if it is destined to happen between us it will happen but if it won't it just won't happen.. There shall be no conditions laid in love. It's just love. Period! Like they say, when love happens it just happens and no love calculator or logic comes into play as one get carried away by the storm. If it doesn't, it just doesn't happen as one must be prepared to face the rough weather. Keep the faith coz the heart knows no logic. If the person has to go, she has to go and you gotta move. After all, the love calculator may not resist to love but there is no denying, it has its importance. Love is a malfunction of the brain.

Why does it happen?
Cupid strikes as you loses your sanity to the oldest feeling..
It's called love.
The mere thought of her brings a smile to my face.
All of a sudden, all my fears vanish.
Why do I need to fall prey to love?
Don't they know that love may hurt and destroy me as well?
As much as it is the world most powerful feeling,
it is the biggest destroyer of peaceful existence.
It is the storm that passeth and bring a massive revolution.
A devil can become a saint.
A saint may become a devil.
Such is the power of love.
It's the biggest tragedy on earth.

An ode to friendship

Friends are the siblings we never had.
A reason to celebrate our being into existence.
They are the ones that bring a smile to our faces.
They become the parents and sustain us on our way to heaven.
Friends are the oxygen that maketh us breath.
True friends doesn't come for a season,
They come for a reason and a lifetime coz they are not part-time frenzzz.
As I pour myself a glass of whisky, I fondly remember the wonderful moments spent together, dear friend.
Our friendship is what matter the most,
the rest is reduced to nought.
Who cares about the whole world when we have frenzz that matters?!
Friendship is like the polished diamond.
It has neither resale value nor a price tag.
It is just the most beautiful and priceless thing in the world.
True, it is an investment.
Then, if you invest in something as priceless as friendship,
Why do you wanna let it go?
It is beyond life and death.
Till death do us apart.
Happy Friendship Day.

Freedom from work

Hola people,
Having a Sunday free of penning stories for the newspaper in office and keeping my hands free from calling contacts is like cherry on the cake. Well, that doesn't mean that I dint work from home and yeah, I did make a story and mailed to office. But, but, having a Sunday in one month..well you can imagine what does that means for me..well it means a lot for a reporter/journalist.
So far, so good. Had a good week at work as I hardly struggled for story ideas, except on Sunday last owing to bad planning.
Olympics game just kicked off and frankly speaking, I hardly had the time to follow the cracking opening and show. I am seriously praying that Team India puts a good show and spell some magic to make us proud. Well, time to update blog dosts on the latest happening in the life of lame journalist as I call myself..no pun unintended here. I attended a coffee tasting event at a resort called Cafe Lux* and was treated to amazing Machiato and flat white coffee. Just imagine one attends an event to get a story and out of the blue you get another story and that too not just a story at random..a mini kinda interview with a model and contendant for Miss Universe who just popped for a cuppa coffee. I jumped at the opportunity and just in time caught  hold of Miss South Africa and asked her a few questions and managed to click a pic with her.
Miss Bam came for a photo shoot for Cosmo... and I must concede that she oozes hotness combined with humility and is grace personified. Well, normally I am not gung-ho about goris and my stand hasn't changed after meeting Miss SA. Just stating the fact and it was a pleasure speaking to her. My first brush with a model and I was quite upbeat when the story came. Unfortunately, just gotta seven minutes with her..nahin toh..no dearies don't get sexy ideas here..I mean my interview would have been longer. But, it turned out very well.
Well, what else the peeping toms..oops peeping blog dosts wanna know about my life..I do like someone but for the moment she might read this blog, so not really opening the book of ma life..shall keep it for my personal diary and if that's a bit of news for you, gals and guys..that's it!!!!Yeah, but it's not really happening..I made my move and by now she knows about my feeling..but I am not the kinda guy who will play the wooing game if someone expects me to chase..I might well move on and carry on wid ma life..I have better stuffs to do in life.
Yeah, been fiddling with relationship issues of friends as I turned into love gurus for two chicks and advising them on what to do..or lemme put it that way, from a guy's perspective..well, if anyone of you have relationship issues, you know my door is open and you are more than welcome on blogspot, blogdosts...
After ages, I started reading the P G Wodehouse series and this time I laid my hands on The Head of Kays and after that I shall jump to one of Osho's book I got myself at a fair. I have quite a few books to read. Tomorrow is Monday and I am already abhorring it and gotta face the blues since I gotta wake up at 6.30 a.m. Reason: After a hell lotta struggle I gotta an appointment with a guy for the Olympics game and adding that to another story I have already prepared..so reached office, I shall be in a frantic-cum-hyper mood of running around from one place to another to hunt for stories.
I shall make a move now as I reach for a DvD movie to end my well deserved and luxurious Sunday.

Posing with Miss SA, Melinda Bam

Cheerio! kalti marta hoon boss.

The monsoon conversation over vodka

It's a soothing Saturday evening. Monsoon flooded island city as trains were running late and people were stranded at railway and bus stations. The city witnessed the first shower in the evening as water rose above sea water and promenades at Marine Drive and Bandra was flooded.
Away from the heavy rains, Ayush, Panchi and Siddharth sat in the hall of a plush apartment in Bandra over vodka, coke and weed.  They were celebrating the first monsoon in the city.
 The gang of three met on the first day in Economics class and since then they became good friends in a city afflicted by loneliness and 'I mean business lingo.' As the vodka is poured in their respective glasses, Ayush lying on the floor and holding the cigarette stick between his fingers pops a question, 'Guys what do you think about life, no seriously?"
Siddharth and Panchi yells at him in unison, "What the fuck, dude? Now, don't start with your Paulo Coelho-kinda-inspired philosophy?"
Ayush retorts, "So you guys wanna debate how to make babies?"
He continues, "Panchi your life is set. You are going steady with your boyfriend, have great sex and is a well known journalist with Mumbai leading and respectable magazine, Today's city."
He gives Siddharth a menacing look, "You mother fucker. You spend your dad's money like a fish on daaru and after your MBA you will join your dad insurance stock company. I'm sure your dad has already reserved a cabin for you bearing the label director."
Siddharth shouts, "Fuck you Ayush..bloody bitch."
Panchi intervenes just in time, "Guys chill!!! What's the issue?"
Ayush explained that he just wanted everybody to have a discussion on life and a complete departure from their usual conversation about girls, guys for Panchi and sex.
Siddharth playfully asks, "So mother fucker what is on your agenda of life today..dude and please no reference to Paulo Coelho..do your research on him later?"
Ayush starts, " See my scene right now is that I don't wanna go to my home town and spend the rest of my life with mom. After all, it is a question of my individuality, guyzz? I want to live my life and this is where everything lies.Yahan Mumbai me!
Siddharth joins in, "Listen dude. Whatever you say? After all, she is your mom and she needs you. I also want to settle in the States. But, I think that I should be with Mom and Dad. They are our parents and we must sacrifice our dreams for them. I mean it's not cool to leave them alone in old age and embrace our dreams. They need us at some point or the other."
Ayush lights a cigarette. "Dude, I am not saying that. Chasing our dreams doesn't mean we are being selfish or something like that. I honestly believe that it is important to be happy in life. It is our right as human beings to be happy and it is not something that we are asking life to give to us. Happiness is not charity."
He asks, "Do you think that our parents would love to see us sad or for that matter, their joy lies in our happiness?"
Siddharth quips, "I don't know? I never discussed such things with mom and Dad as I never thought of leaving them to pursue my dreams of becoming a singer. I always wanted to take a course in singing in US. But, there are always certain considerations."
He touches the shoulder of Ayush in a comforting manner, "I understand that you always wanted to be happy in your life. But, bro any decision has to be well thought and dissected. Sometimes, in our quest for freedom we must ensure that we have not left our loved ones behind that coming back may become a near impossible task."

Hmm! You guys are quite confused about what you want in life, rues Panchi in a playful manner. I think that Ayush is quite clear in what he wants in life. Guys, I personally feel that when we would be lying on our death bed and shed tears on what we could but didn't do in life, it will be the biggest tragedy of human life. She explains, "At least, it's better to pursue one's dreams and live joyfully rather than dying every second. There are some people who are already dead every moment despite living on earth."
She quips, "If you may feel, Siddharth can I honestly tell you something?"
Siddharth nods.
Panchi continues, "Dude, I respect your views about making your parents happy. But, I feel that you are scared to pursue your dreams. Go and kiss the world. Perhaps, you will never get such an opportunity again in life."
Turning her gaze to Ayush, "Yeah! Dude! That doesn't mean you are happy with your life. I mean be happy with what you do with life. You were telling me that my life is set. Fine, I have a great boyfriend. We have great sex and I am doing well professionally. But, that doesn't mean that life is a bed of roses for me. I belong to a small town and fought with my family to be here in Mumbai. Professionally speaking..everyday is a struggle for me and to reach where I am today I had to fight with myself every single moment sacrificing friends, late night parties. Life is not that easy dude. But, play cool and stay cool dude! Now, I need another vodka."
Siddharth pours vodka in the glasses. Panchi sips the vodka and say, "Over to you, guys."
Everybody remain silent for five minutes.
Siddharth, hmm!!!! Arre purra monologue kiya Panchi ne. I think we need to smoke up  and get back to the stuffs. This is getting really interesting and passionate during the monsoon.
They walk towards the balcony and share a joint. All of a sudden, the heavy rains lashes on the city.
"Arre! Panchi is right about me and you. It's raining and we could have chosen to run inside the house but we are standing right here as dollops of rain is falling on our forehead. It's experimental and we are enjoying it. Life should be like that only! No analysis. Just embrace life," observes Ayush.
Siddharth adds, "For once, I do not dispute the fact. Dude! Go home and make your mom understand where your happiness lies. I never knew that you can't do without Mumbai. I mean hold her hands and tell her the truth. But, please don't let her in the dark."
Ayush agrees, "I understand your point and won't keep her in the dark. On one side, lies our happiness and on the other side is her, one of the most important important woman in my life. She gave me birth, true and it is something I will mull over, to bring her with me to Mumbai if she agrees of course. In that way, she will not feel lonely and I can pursue my dreams. I wish to say that I am not selfish."
Siddharth pours another drink in their respective glasses and stand up and raises his right hand in theatrical fashion. "Lady and gentleman, I need your attention. You guys have opened my eyes. I have decided to go and pursue my dreams of becoming a singer in Boston. I will explain to mom and dad. Perhaps, in the start they will feel bad. But, they will understand. If I make it, they will be proud of their son. If I fail, they will also be proud since their son tried at least."
Both guys shouts in unison. "Climax ka time aagaya and over to the over-drunked lady."
Panchi smiles and shouts."Fuck off guys. It's high time that both of you need to get laid!!!!Okie, over to me.."
".....Well, with respect to what our parents have done for us, I want to ask a simple: If we were given the choice, would we prefer to be born in our respective families or for that matter choose to come in this world? Think over it, guys!! Our parents never asked anyone before deciding to bring us in this world since it was a matter of choice. So, is it fair on their part to tell us not to pursue our dreams and not be happy in life?"
The room went silent. Panchi lights a cigarette: " Guys, don't take it wrongly. I am personally grateful to my parents for what they have done for me. I am sure you guys are grateful too and love your wonderful parents. I am just saying that it is not a sin to dream and walk towards the path to achieve happiness in life. It should not be a clash between us and our parents. I feel that the biggest selfish act is to prevent a friend, son or daughter  or for that matter a lover to fly."
They all clapped. "Taalis, taalis" and hugged each other.
The rains doesn't seem to stop. The wind is blowing violently. Monsoon has started and island city is beaming with joy.

You and I

You and I in this beautiful world!!!!
The moment I saw you, I was struck by your beauty.
Deep inside, I knew it was not a stroke of luck that we met.
I found the excuse to say Hi to you.
There was something brewing between us.
Dunno what they call it?
Calling it love would be perhaps the biggest fallacy in the world.
You are not the regular babe that one meet in the subway.
Neither you are the idolized angel that we may encounter.
You are unique in your own way and that what made your charm work on me.
You did nothing!
I did nothing! ahem! ahem!
Then what do we call it?!
Why do I long to see you?
The smile on your face, your beautiful eyes and the way you say hi makes my world go round.
What are you thinking in the wee hours in the morning?
Are you sleeping with your eyes closed and smiling?
I wish I could see sleeping.
Now will you care to be with me in my dreams?
We will be holding hands together and walking down the alley in this chilled winter.
Till destiny brings us together

Birthday and happiness

Wassap people,
Celebrated ma budday on June 24 and as I write this post on Sunday it is eck jhackly one week. I am born again or if I put it that way,  re-born. The new kid on the block is blossoming slowly into one-week old cute baby boy. I received so much love during ma birthday via Facebook, sms, chat and phone calls. The wishes kept flowing even after budday got over. I am forever grateful to life and frenz that matters.
I cannot whine about life and whatever I have received has been a complete bundle of joy, happiness and success as I look back at the years that elapsed. It has been a beautiful journey, making so many good friends and earning a beautiful place in people's hearts. The reason I made so many friends is because I wear my heart on my sleeve and open up to people with honesty and genuine care and concern. I connect the dots with people and there is no hidden motive in my interaction with people. That's me.
One thing I have learned in life is to act in a selfless manner with people. I love people!!!! I have learned a lil bit of lessons in life and I honestly believe that one..errr sorry me..shouldn't have a sea of expectations from people. If I connect with people, I will go out of my way to do everything but I shouldn't expect that they will give back in the same manner. Expecting too much is wrong from my perspective.
In that way, I have received so much from people and for which I am eternally grateful to life. Yes! Indeed! I have received so much love from people..a thousand splendid suns. My reasoning is simple: If things come your way, great! If it doesn't and if like me you don't expect too much, there is very less or no grief and disappointment. That's the way I am. I go out of my way to make people around me feel comfortable and I am not going to change that part of me. Sure! Some people have told me to stop being like that since people will take me for granted. Par kya karein! That's the way I am and I believe that life is more about giving and less about receiving.
Next point. It's been an amazing journey of life and it's been a great learning experience and happiness. I have my fair share of success. I made the best of friends and studied in one of the best colleges in India and the best in Pune, Fergusson College. I am blessed. I would do nothing to change this. What I wouldn't give to get back this life. Haan! There are certain things in life that I wished for and has so far eluded me. Theek hai! Not all that we wished for is turned into reality. May be I haven't tried hard enough to achieve all my dreams. But, we live in a world of immense possibilities and it's not too late as someone pointed out to me the other day. My dream of becoming an actor and a film-maker has become a distant dream so far. But, that doesn't mean that it will never become a reality. I am quite confident and intend to start soon with a short film.
Today, a dear friend of mine got hitched in Pune. I am damned happy for her as she has finally found love. She is such a wonderful person and she deserves every moment of happiness. As far as I am concerned, quite a few people have discussed on when I am taking the plunge or whether I will ever get married.
My present state of mine is:NO. I love my freedom too much to ever get married and I feel that marriage is a trap imposed by society to impose their rules and I don't want to bend to the rules. Marriage like religion is imposed by society to exploit our state of being. If I have to make a choice in life, I will always opt for the triumph of my individuality and I am not going to trade it for anything else in my life. I refuse to get bogged down by the rules of society.
Where does love come into the whole business of marriage? I don't think that we can link love to marriage. Sure, from a different perspective love is connected to marriage but I have an entirely different take on that. I believe in the very concept of 'free love'. Assume tomorrow, I fall in love with someone, yeh zaroori nahin hai ke next step should be marriage. If we truly love each other, we can always be there for each other when needed. If she decides to be with someone else who will provide her with care, security, emotional and material comfort, I will not stop her. This is true love. If you love someone, that doesn't mean that you should not respect her wishes if she chose not to be with you but rather with someone else. Why get into the marriage business? But, it's my own perspective on life, love and marriage. What is good for new kid on the block is not necessarily true for the whole world. But, then I am rebel and that's the way I am!
Have a good day.

Blessed with such a friend

Flashback: Pune 2004-06
We shall not part.
We stay in each other's hearts.
That's what we tell people when they ask where do we stay!!!!!
No matter what, we shall stand the test of time.
That's what true friendship is all about.
We may have issues or disagreements.
But, at the end of the day if all goes well,
That's means our friendship was not made of clay.
Celebrating the joy of friendship.


Today, I narrate the story of my friendship. A friend that I met in college, Adi..my bro and perhaps my everything. He became one of my biggest support system in Fergusson College in Pune. That was between 2004 to 2006. Adi shouted and yelled at me when I was fucking up things. Over the years, we turned out to become great friends. We met in a party for the first time and we were shit drunked over Smirnoff India vodka with orange juice. Since then, there was no looking back. He was one of the few people I didn't take too long to connect with. Normally, I take a long time to connect with people but this friendship was here to stay. I knew about. My sixth sense told me and I am never wrong in that way. I trust my sixth sense:)
He is the mature one and I was the kid in the group coz I think with my heart and not the head..I mean I am still a kid who has never learned the ropes of the rational world. Adi was always pissed off with me....
Dude! What a born chutiya you are, Adi would tell me.
We would get engaged in a heated argument. Once, we were so sloshed in a party and he told the girls make sure I am dropped home.
To which I would reply:
Haan, mein doodh peeta bacha hoon na.
There are several such anecdotes and incidents that ocurred during the course of our friendship. I guess writing a 1000 pages book on it won't suffice. That was the bonding that we shared during our college days. Ha! How can I miss the lunch and dinner treat at his home. His mom prepared the best food in the world. The coffee that aunty makes is awesomely fab! I still miss aunty's Maharashtrian food and not to forget the mangoes that his dad would bring all the way from Nagpur.
The gaalis that we would generously throw at each other...Abe madarchod tu abhi gyaan mad de..I would tell him. That was in response to the crush I developed on Miss M..I saved her number as princess M. He would tell me:
Chutiya. you are not cut out for him.
I would reply: Abe gandu chup karna....
That was our friendship.
I would call him bastard and he would call me asshole. We were known as asshole and bastard and not to forget our 'gay act' just for fun as we got pleasure in teasing the gal he was dating. Mind you! The bro-mance was done in the presence of his then girlfriend at that point of time.
I vividly remember the crush I had on miss G. I wanted to declare my feeling to her but there was some hesitation. She just came from her holidays and I was grilled by Adi and four more people. I was shit scared since we were friends and there was always this fear that I might lose my friendship with her.
That was the fun part as those four guys were like..abe chutiya just tell her and this bhosari ke going by the name of Adi just took my phone threatening me..gandu if you don't tell her, I am going to tell her pretending to be you. Well, he taught me self-confidence that I never had.
Adi-Bhenchod..now just tell her 1 4 3
Me- Chutiya yeh kya hai?
Adi-I love you
Me-Abe lund..marwage kya?
Adi-Saale tu bhaiyya bole dena usske..take a chance chutiya
I wrote 1 4 3 as I reach for miss G reliance number..
I hesitate, close my eyes and press her number..
Five, ten minutes gone..no reply ting ting
Me-Gandu dekh pakka ussko gussa aayi
Adi- Chutiya!
Beep beep..
Miss G-What does that mean
Me- (Of course prodded by this chutiya): What do you think it is?
Miss G- Well, it was a stupid game that we used to play in first standard.
Me- (Not entirely my doing)..G..I wanted to tell you that since long...I really like you..................

The next day she sent an sms..Vishal, I am sorry that I was rude to you yesterday...nopes I am not revealing anything on this space..the rest is history and I was dancing in the kitchen.
Well, Adi thanks a ton, dude.
Whether playing truth and dare where he made me reveal soo much or smoking and discarding the butt in his magic pot or skipping the exams, we have done all that...We bonded over alcohol and smoking.
There was time when we were not speaking terms at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!He was pissed off with me for some time, entirely my doing as I went into my shell and decide to cut off from the whole world. He moved to Australia and me to Mumbai. Then, once he called me from Australia and we spoke for some time.Quite formally I would say! Then, we re-connected on Facebook and it was like the good 'ole' days. We called each other a few times and degree of awesomeness cannot be quantified.
Today, I can say that this is a friendship that stood the test of time. Amen to that! We haven't seen each other for almost 5 years now and we shall very soon meet each other in India. I am confident of that. Like I said, my sixth sense cannot and shall not fail me.
To that, cheers to bastard and asshole.

P.S: It's about my equation with Adi. If the Hindi cusswords offend you, please refrain from commenting.

Wine of love

I pour the wine of love in the glass made of mud.
Throwing mud on me and calling a drunkard, womanizer does no good to your fake existence.
You chose to throw mud and pelt stones on me.
Yet, i shall adorn your face with flowers,
I will sprinkle the holy wine on your hair.
You call me a sinner.
Why?
Because I roam in the streets of sin like a vagabond.
I drink in the glass of life.
I am drunkard and yet I don't beg for your compassion.
I enjoy the company of women of least repute,
While people like you brutalize them and castigate them in the name of religion and morality.
I ain't no saint. Yet, I shall not pretend to be one unlike you.
I shall enjoy my wine.

Love calculation (1)

There is no calculus theorem of love..oh!Dear and respected mathematicians of the world..how come you've skipped the word called 'Love' while designing the greatest theory. What is love? Why does it happen? When it happens, why don't we measure its pros and cons?
Before falling in love with someone,there are certain things that we need to calculate. Like, do I have any future in this relationship? What if it doesn't work? Can I afford to inflict self-harm to myself? The wound from my relationship has not been completely healed. So, why should I get into the lovey-dovey romantic relationship? Am I being fair to myself and to the other person?
There is no denying the fact that in the start love looks so beautiful and is the most amazing feeling in the world. You have the impression that you are the happiest person in the world and life looks perfect. It can't get better than that. The person is the most amazing person in the world and he or she cannot be wrong. You get into those mushy thingies, red rose, wine, candle light dinner, roaming into the deserted streets, holding hands over your cuppa coffee and in the theater, stealing a kiss in the monsoon. Your sex life is also the most awesome thing. Then, bingo!

As soon as you get to know the person, you actually get into the thinking the mode: Is she or he the same person I knew in the start? Am I in a proper relationship? Will it do good for me? Why am I still in the relationship with her? There are so many what ifs raging in your mind. Then, after some time, the fights and your brain altogether stop functioning..As they say, love is the malfunction of the brain. Like Meghna told me last time, sometimes people don't use their brains when they fall in love and end up doing sensical things and don't realize how stupid they look. She was speaking in a particular context and looks like she was directed her ire at guy. Well babe! Both the dudes and gals get into those things, though women are much more smarter, intelligent and sometimes, practical than their male counterparts.
There are some standards that we set before meeting somebody and most of the time when you meet that person, she never meets such criterias. Will she be sweet and compassionate? Is she someone with whom I can have a meaningful conversation and believe in principles? She is not one of the scheming and manipulative lot..sense of humor, enjoying every moment of life is lacking in her and often you are in for a big disappointment. Often, we set standards for our next relationship...will she be hot and good at making out? caring, sensitive and understanding..and when you meet, you feel that they are a total reject?
Then, you meet somebody who shares the same ideas...i mean or less..we all have qualities and weakness..you get into thinking..am I reading to take the plunge and get into this serious relationship? Serious thoughts crop into your mind and what if?! True, you are no longer a college student that you will be able to face the break up or shit like that..you have a life, remember and what if the person doesn't give your space in the relationship. C'mon, we may decide to live together and it's actually a big effort on the part of both of us to share our bedroom or room for that matter since it is a very private space in our life. Once it happens, there are certain adjustment that need to be made. Back to the love calculation-kinda-theorem, I have my own life and expect her to have a life of my own. I always believe that in a relationship, there should be a charter-I live my life and you live yours and you free to meet both your male and female friends--my pals and buddies. If I am meeting a long female buddy for a drink that doesn't mean that I am having an affair. There is something called Trust in a relationship. You meet your male friends and I don''t have any fucking problem with that coz if I am meeting the babes for a drink, then I don't have a right to stop you. Then, you shouldn't behave like an obsessive lover and starts calling me every now and then when I am working in the office, at the university or happily boozing with friends.
However, it's also true when love doesn't come all planned and you wake up in the morning, deciding to fall in love with someone. I know it just happens. And, when it happens what do you do, go for it?! Remember, I have my love calculus and measuring all my options. As I said, I wouldn't like to hurt myself and in that sense, I would prefer an open relationship with her coz I wouldn't like to eat too much of time and getting into the relationship hassles.
The reason is very simple: The last time I took a hell longish time to get out of my breakup and wouldn't like to fuck up things. As they say lessons learned. But! There is always a but! Love is like gravity and it just happens like Shit happens in life. What do we do then? Does our love calculus goes for a toss? Falling in love cannot be prevented. Should we chase it coz a second chance doesn't really comes..though I don't subscribe to this view....
Remember, I have my love calculus.....
To be continued...................

In the times of Love

Vicky hardly attended college. He was doing his internship with an advertising company at Shivaji Nagar in Pune, Mediarocks. But, he would hang out almost every day outside college to fool around  with friends, boozing and admiring the cool N hot chicks. The only time he was present in college was during the college festival, Xtravaganza. After all, it was the time when many love stories started.
Radhika was Vicky's senior in college and was the object of desire of all the guys. Whenever she walks in the campus and touching her curly hair with her delicate fingers, she would send the guys in a frenzy state of mind. After all, she was super hot and naturally, the topic of conversation.
Radhika and Vicky were oblivious of each other's presence till Xtravaganza happened in August. Three days of college festival and like many, Vicky enrolled in Radhika's team in the logistics department. On the first day of the college fest,Vicky was standing in a blue kurta in the college campus and hiding away from the glares of everyone and was smoking. A sensual feminine voice patted him on the back and offers a handshake:
Hi, I'm Radhika. Logistics team, right?
Vicky was strucked  by her beauty and was wondering whether she is the same Radhika every guy was speaking and dreaming about. He stammered.
Hi, V-i-c-k-y..I mean I am vicky.
Radhika sports a mocking smile.
Yes, Vicky I got your name. You are in my team. By the way, smoking is strictly not allowed in college campus and certainly not during the college fest. It will give a bad image to Fergie college. C'mon dude, we are the best college in Pune. Btw, I also smoke and after all the preparations ,let's have a smoke outside.
Vicky nodded and throws the fag away.
Radhika pats him on the shoulder:
Fuck dude. Follow me. All volunteers are decorating the amphi theatre and we have a very important event in one fucking hour. Let's go jaldi.
Vicky runs after Radhika towards the amphi theatre. There are hordes of volunteers, boys and girls and Vicky is helping Radhika with the decoration, sticking the wall papers, muslin papers, banners and balloons.
During the interval at Indian classical dance show, Radhika asks Vicky
Hey, I never see you in college. You don't attend classes kya?
Vicky smiles and says, I am always in college hanging out with friends and I've heard bout you soo many times.
She smiles, Oh! Yeah! Really How come Mr Vicky? Btw, please reply to my question. Why don't you attend classes?
Well, it's just that I am doing my intern with Mediarocks and towards December you shall see me more often, he quips.
Radhika holds his hand, Please let's go out for a smoke and a cutting chai. They walk together outside the college campus and crosses the busy streets towards the chai ki tapdi.
Radhika asks the tea vendor, daun cutting bhau aur cigarettse, classic mild.
She asks Vicky, you like classic mild, na?
He replies that it's his favourite brand. They sit together on the bench. Radhika shares a thing or two on the weather, Nice weather na and I love dis weather. It's hot but still the gentle damp in the temperature makes the chai so good.
Vicky smiles, A perfect weather to kiss and some romance.
Fuck you, Vicky. She slaps him on his arms, Oh! Guys! They think of only one thing....Now, will you tell me why I am the object of your friends' conversation.
He is amused. Well, obviously girls are not mooning over you. Simple: Coz you are the hottest in college. She smiles sheepishly.
It is the last day of extravaganza and the students of Fergie poses for a group photo.
Radhika quizzed him, So, Mr Vicky? It's great how become friends in just three days. Hope to see more of you, my invisible college junior.
He replies, Babe, my internship will get over soon. They hug each other tightly.
Vicky, are you coming tomorrow for the party?, she asks.
He nodded, Radhe..how can I miss it?
As she ignite the keys of her bike, see then tomorrow at 9 p.m.
The gang of Xtravaganza joins on Saturday at Fire N Ice disco in Camp, MG road. Many love stories started during Xtravagaanza and couples could be seen dancing and sitting in a corner, cozying to each other.
Hi, been searching for you dude, Radhika says as she checks her mobile. Oh! You messaged and I've been searching for you everywhere.
He takes her by her arms, let's go for some vodka shots.
They gulped three vodka shots. Radhika suggested that they hit the dance floor, C'mon Vicky, let's dance. Kajra re is coming.
They dances as their bodies motion towards each other. They lips approaches and Vicky plants a kiss on her lip. She would not let him get away from him as she presses her lips against his. Their tongues swirl into each other's mouth and indulge into a long, passionate kiss oblivious of on-lookers and the blazing music.


Three months later.
Vicky completed his intern and has become more regular in college. He tried the phone number of Radhika but it's left unanswered. Nobody has seen Radhika in college and he tried searching for at the Economics department but to no avail. Fed up of trying to reach out to Radhika, he started dating Sneha, a first year girl from Delhi. In February, somebody told him that Radhika is back to college and that she went for a tour in Germany, showcasing the Marathi play Mee Purush boltoy.
Radhika heard about his affair with Sneha and according to her friends, she is quite upset with him. One day, the passed crossed accidentally and she prodded, After all, you showed that you are just like the others, na. I was your legitimate fuck. Sex was on your mind and that's it, dude.
Vicky is pissed off, Now, will you let me explain? I tried calling you several times.
She replies angrily, I thought there was something going on between us. Can you have waited? And you are dating this slut, she shouted and left.
Several times, they happen to see each other in the college campus and the hang out spot. There was always an awkward silence between them. Not even a formal hi. The truth is that Radhika always think about him and the memorable moments spent together. She dated a few guys but broke up immediately. Her heart was not in the relationships.
Vicky broke up with Sneha and apologized that he is not doing justice to her and it's better that they move on. Often, he would drown his sadness in alcohol.
It was the exams time and after that, Radhika will leave college to pursue her masters in mass communication at Saint Xavier's in Mumbai. Often, they would see each other in the campus and behaving as complete strangers despite standing in a single group or discussing their respective exam papers.
It was the last day of college and the first monsoon showers has just started. Radhika walks up to him, Hi Vicky. So, you have one more year to go and just came to say bye and best of luck in your life. I also want to say that you are a bastard.
She turns and walks away from him in the college campus. Vicky's buddy Aniruddha shouts at him, dude what are you doing? You love her man and she fucking loves you..chutiya run after her and tell her.
Without losing a second, Vicky throws his bag on the floor and heads towards the parking space in college where Radhika is heading. His friends, Aniruddha, Neha, Rohan and Kim follows him. He yells, Radhika, Radhika, Radhika, please listen..I am a bastard, I've been an asshole..
Radhika turns and ponders, now what the hell is fucking wrong with this guy?
He walks in her direction, Perhaps in the start I was unsure of my feeling and that's why I dated Sneha. But, I broke up with her because I love you. When we were not together, I waited for every single in college campus so that I can see your beautiful smile. I love your curly hair. It's the last day in college and I don't want to regret telling how much I love you.
Radhika runs towards him and they hugged each other tightly. She says, I love you too, my bastard. And they kissed. The water lashed heavily at that very moment. Monsoon has started in Pune. Anirddha, Neha, Rohan and Kim shouts..Fuck the world...and clapped their hands thunderously.

Rebels cannot be killed

Our life is like the flowing river.
On one hand, we are still and peaceful and on the other hand, we become agitated struggling to fight against the storms and current.
In life, when we stand for our values and principles, the world will try every means to put us down.
They never liked rebels.
I am one such rebel, call me without a case but I'm one.
I refuse to accept beliefs and established values.
I advocate for a fair and just society where no men and women will be discriminated against.
Still, my presence disturbs your notion of society.
You know that my presence will disturb your manipulative mindset.
You will try every trick in the book to put beings like me down.
My presence disturbs you.
You may push me down to the wall, harass me, make my life hell or even kill me.
Alas! How can you kill my thoughts.
The idea of a better society which certainly doesn't suit your interests to dominate and manipulate the world.
I refuse to accept your concept of exploiting the world and practicing a policy of division.
What I want is very simple.
I want to live my life on my own terms and refuse to bow to your concept of extremism and dogmatic rules and values.
I believe in one religion:The religion of love and humanity.
I don't want to accept your rules.
Fuck your rules.
There are many like me:: Rebels will continue the fight against an unjust and repressive society.
Karl Marx said, religion is the opium of the people.
I say religion and society exploits the people.
Most of you wear a garb to exploit us and perpetuate an unjust society.
Rebels will continue to fight you.
I am one of them.

Random thoughts

Hola people,
Downed three pegs of Grants whisky or almost finished the third one..surprisingly I'm getting the high now only..I'm having whisky after a gap of four months. Last time, it was in December when I tasted my favourite Indian brand, Imperial Blue on X-mas day. Sometimes, we badly need alcohol to dilute the stress in life. Bah! stress in life..you name it, you get it..tiredness, deadlines, a situation where you fight against yourself and you know that you cannot win..bloody fucking circumstances.You just can't win and you wonder that was life at one point and now..the now where you presently stand.
Yeah! I know it's just a matter of time when I will be happy. I miss the quotient of happiness that I was eligible few years back. Happiness revisited for 20 days and that's it. I am an impatient bastard!!!!!!!Or, am I? Dunno who is reading the crap at dis odd hours of the day.
I've neglected this blog for so long and it's high time to give some updates on ma otherwise dull life. One wonder what kind of life is dat? Getting bloody high on the name of alcohol and you wonder you have hardly any friend to socialise with, except a few ones. Then, they don't booze. What life was a few years back and what it became now.  I had a strong support system to rely on. I mean that some of my frenz are still here and wheneva I want them, they are just a call way. But, then I hate this bloodyyy distance. True, life doesn't remain static and will keep on evolving. You lose some battles in life and you win some. This is where alcohol fits in and provide a sort of solace. Mind you! I am the biggest optimist and am sure that things will evolve over time. Don't read too much about the rantings. But, why things are not happening?
Sometimes, I listen to my alter ego and will call it, the reasonable me. Whenever I fuck up things, he intervenes and prevents me from sliding further down the drain. He is the reason behind the fact that I am still holding and not buckling under pressure. But, for how long, I ask?! Will I be able to survive the madness and will it ever stop?
Some decisions need to be taken and fast. I am a human being and not a saint. It may be insensitive to others needs. But, after long I am feeling an urge to stay alone and do things on my own. I constantly need to push myself to achieve that. I bloody fucking need my life back and I have reached a state in life where I can't afford living an unhappy existence.
I shall sign off now.
Good night. Tomorrow shall be a new day and a new beginning perhaps.
P.S: Please ignore this crap. It is written in an utter state of drunkenness.

Ethics and hypocrisy

During our formative years in college, we were taught principles and ideals to stand for in life. We were young and ready to take the world as we learn to question pre-established norms for a better society. There was an idealism in life as we promise to stand what we believe in. We thought that we will not falter in the face of adversity and question corrupt practices, scheming thought and manipulations in the world. Alas! We were also taught that it is a tough world waiting for us and only time will tell whether we will withstand the test of time. At the end of college, we vow to make our alma-mater proud of us and always think of the teachings of our eminent teachers whom we hold in awe.
Enter the real and we are faced to the harsh realities of life. You name it, you get it....office politics, manipulations,lies, natak baazi and unreasonable mindsets, racism, fareb, corruption, casteism, racism and unfairness. There are thousands such things. I have always believed in treating people in a fair and correct manner. Several times, I maintained a silence at the face of injustice so as to avoid clash with people and avoid being at the receiving end of an unfair society. But, recently I decided to stand for something even if I am not involved. I am not going to sit as a silent spectator even if another person is treated in an unfair manner just because he or she belongs to a different caste, creed, gender and most importantly not my country. Such things gets to me.
C'mon gals and guys so what if someone does not belong to your country, does that mean that person should be discriminated? We are all human beings and are living in a global world. I mean, that's so shitty and which world you are living in. Prejudices against people is one thing that I cannot stand. Probably because I am an idealist and dream of a fair and just society where all men and women will be treated on a equal footing. The pace at which the world is moving is crazy and our way to attain our goals, we think that we can stumble on the rights of any human being.
I may not protest every time coz it makes no point changing people and often it's better not to fall prey to people's narrow mindset. I often say let it go. But, in another cases, I refuse to bow down to social injustice meted to other people. It's a question of principles and human values. Sometimes, I really wanna take on the world. But, I also understand that we are living in a hypocrite world: Going along with your principles would mean that society will not let you live peacefully and you will be driven to the wall. They will use each and every lies and cheap tactics to make you abide by the mainstream rules. It's difficult to live in this world when you believe in something and make your principles and ethics a part of your self. But, kill my principles and I cease to exist as a human being. It's like losing my individuality and a part of my identity as a human being.
Now, why do I chose to take a stand when someone else is treated in an unfair manner or discriminated against? It happens in all walks of life, be it an organization like the workplace or a club. I could chose to remain silent, do my job and go home. It's simple: I would not like to be treated in an unfair way. If I stand for something, I can say yes I adhered to values which I believe in. Or else, life will become so meaningless. Not to mention the gossips that people indulge in and I have a feeling that a person don't have anything to do in life. I mean to say that they have no purpose in life.
The same applies to corruption when a minister or high paid executive takes a bribe. That's crazy. I mean how much money do you want and will you bloody take the money in your coffin when you die. Theek hai, we all want to earn money so as to live a decent life, afford holidays once in a while and buy some luxury or our choice of brands as well as buy a car or a nice flat. But, siphoning off crores? Again, your life is becoming meaningless in the hunt for me. I solemnly ask, What is important hurting people by stealing or earning respect? Becoming a better human being, believing in humanity or becoming filthy rich?

There are questions raging in my head. Standing for ideologies, values or remaining a mute spectator at the face of things. I am quite honest to concede that sometimes I keep my mouth shut at the face of injustice or unfairness against someone else while in other circumstances I hit back. The moments I keep my mouth shut, should I protest and fight back. Answers sought!!!!!!

Dollops of romance

I saw her for the first time in the lobby and immediately jumped with joy.
We didn't took long to connect.
There was something about her. Her dignified grace, angelic smile and playfulness.
Her presence brings a rush of radiance, purity in my space.
Life is beautiful.
She is an angel.
The angel that brings life in my journey of life.
A woman of substance that comes once in a while and totally unexpected.
It's a sweet love.
The matters of love sometimes calls for silence.
We share so much in common.
Yet! The feelings may not be mutual.
After all,what is sweet love without some element of pains, dollops of romance and dreams.
It is a silent romance.
My romance.
It matters to me and only to me.
Be happy in love and romance.

Mixed baggage of emotions, feeling your presence my friend

It's a very personal post.For a quite a few days, I am being transported in a trance-like situation and I am delving further into the outer world, free of the human bonding and attachment. Sometimes, I wonder that life is really too short and we should detach ourselves from the real world and emotions. Rather, we should embrace the cosmic world, non-physical and enter the 'energy' body. Let's face it: We are living a fake existence in this world full of hypocrisy and sliding into the non-real of the human bondage and attachment.
I have just realized our fake existence. I mean, I know we are all living a fake life as ordinary mortals. I made an experience 2 days back when I felt the presence of someone in my life. Whoever are reading this post has the right to think that I have gone mad or some shit like that or that I am fooling people around. On Wednesday, I was in a low ebb as I happened to check my orkut page and scrapes that dates back way to 2006. I happened to read the scrap I sent to Sudhu and he sent back to me.
Then, one find day when there was no Facebook and I was gung-ho on Orkut, I remember quite well that time. I just shifted to Mumbai from Pune. One fine Sunday, I was getting bored in my room at Churchgate and went to the cybercafe to check my orkut scraps. I ran through a scrap by another dear friend of mine Koko, telling me..Hi Vishal, by now you must have heard the bad news...Sudhu is no more. He was carried away by the waters at Khadakvasla dam. I was dumbfounded and shell shocked. I mean why on earth, I dint check my scrap earlier and why I was informed much later after he died.
Several questions raced into my mind: How come life is so unfair and someone we are closed to, chose to disappear? Why it happened? Sudhu was the one who gave me the Bachchan nickname and people still knows me as Bachchan in Pune. I njoy being called Bachchan as it reminds me of Sudhu's presence in our lives.
Yeah, I am missing him for days now and perhaps it's his way to tell me that he is around. There are days where one wonder, Dude, why was the need for you to go, why couldn't you wait for some more time. I've been in this mode for a week now and this time around, when I wake up, I don't want to do anything neither I am in a mood to speak to anybody. Life is a bitch. I often wonder about the futility of life. As ordinary mortals, we rush to work and make money. But, does it matter? Coz we can never know when our lives will be over. Personally, it is a very complex situation: At the end of the day, does our existence really carry any value whatsoever? We live in a hypocrite society and lead a very fake existence. We get swayed by big bucks, material stuffs and emotions like love and soo many things associated to it. In fact, what w are living is a mere illusion.
Days before, I was shedding tears thinking of Sudhu. But, before sleeping, I felt a presence, his presence. I have no words to qualify that, He must be laughing looking at me and wanna say, kya re Bachchan, mere ko yaad kar raha hai,,bas kya..I am very happy and looking after you.Yes, Sudhu, I know you are here and I know that whenever I go through a tough time, you will send your blessings. I just need to close my eyes and say a small prayer. You are here forever and ever: Sending your love. Dude, send some more love and vibrations.
We shared good vibes and that's why we became friends. The cosmic energy that we share is intact and I know that you have entered your energy body. You taught me so many things about life and existence. The need to be myself and stand out in the crowd. Sometimes, your absence gets too me and this week, I was trying to reason with myself. Deep down, I know that you are still very much present among us, sending love and sharing happiness. Whenever, I faces any problem, I think of you. You must be negotiating happiness with the Almighty and it will be sent just in time You must be saying: Dude, dekha maine vaada nibhaya.
I am missing you. I know that it's your way of telling, mere ko yaad kar, Hamesha, I have not gone anywhere man and I'm still very much present with you. Sudhu bhai, mine being quiet for the whole day and thinking of the good times we spent together, having daaru, chai aur cigarettes gives me an inner peace. I do get emotional at times, thinking that it's been six years now.I know six fucking years that you chose to enter the 'energy' world. You chose to continue your life in a world completely different from the world I am living. You shall continue to  travel and enjoy being with the angels, having a whisky, dude.
I know that we will meet again. When I enter the 'energy' world, you will be the first one to welcome me. Kya re Bachchan! aagaya tu..daaru piyega. Dude! We shall booze and have lotsa fun like we once used to have in the other world. Till then njoy and continue your journey. One more thing, send some love from time-to-time in my life. I know you are sitting here and smiling. Gosh! I am feeling your presence again. Now, I am feeling better. I know that the love is being sent. Say hi to Dad and bhaiya. Chalo then, bhau..miltey hai. Haan! Promise..well, you know what no need to spell it here..and ya you remember that chick on that evening....hahhah lol...

Thinking of the wonderful moments spent together over..
Sutta, Imperial Blue whisky, cigarette aur chai..
Feeling very emotional nowadays.
Thinking of you, dude.
Tis your way of saying you are visiting and saying Hi in your majestic style.
Like the Greek god, you conquered.
Those reading this might think that I am nuts.
Of course, I am not..
But, they won't understand..let it be..
Getting in the trance and back in the life.
Life is beautiful.
You led a beautiful life here, Sudhu bhai and there as well..Njoy it.
Send some love and magic.
Visit again..
Who said that you are not here?
I know that you are with us and will be forever.
You have reached the immortal existence.
You are superior to ordinary mortals like.
You are and always be with me.
There is  a smile on my face now.

Love as always, Sudhu bhai

Boys and emotions

Okie..dokie..we've earned enough wrath from the fairer sex..coz we are emotionless..we are not caring. In fact, more sustained effort must be made to show them our love. We can't even say I love You, to our moms..Yes! I admit I can't do it. I mean, I just can't. But, does that make us heartless, ruthless?!
Boys are boys. At the risk of sounding a typical MCP, which I am obviously not one, we normally don't say I love you to mom nor do we indulge in hell lotsa conversation with her. Neither, do we write long letters to mom nor do we spend a long time on conversation with her. Girls mostly do that coz they have a lot to tell their mothers. We may call only if we have some burden to unleash or in dire need of money. But, that doesn't mean we don't love our mothers.

We make our mom happy by scoring first class in distinction and get through the merit list at our examinations. I remember the time when I got through the merit list for my master's degree at Mumbai list and that too through my bachelor degree results at Fergusson College. I called mom and she shouted with joy on the phone. We may not be physically present with my mom but, if I am working in some other city or world and doing well, it's my way of telling her how much I love her. I make my parents through small gestures and never show off loads of affection. That's my way or if you like, the boyz ways of making mama and Pop proud.
We operate more or less in the same way with our girlfriends or spouses. We may not say I love you several times but by giving you a surprise gift, red roses or chocolates, it's our way of saying how much we care for you. Same happens for a female friend with whom we share good vibes. Personally, I don't need to tell you that as a friend, I care a  lot for you and that you are a sweet friend. It is through my small and random acts of kindness that you should get the feel. Occasionally, I may surprise you with a goodie or chocolate. That's my way of showing that I care for you and anytime, I am here for you. I have always believed in friendship and don't look for give and take in any relationship. Call at 4 a.m, I will be here for you. That's my way. I don't expect you to give me anything in return. I don't need that nor do I believe. It's sad that many people look for benefits in human relations or friendships. Such relationships never survive and never existed. Dosti kiya toh nibhana padega. When something doesn't happen, we do feel bad. But, it's just that.
It's a myth that boys don't cry and that when their love and dear ones suffer, they don't feel the pinch. bhenchod! Pura bakwas hai. It's just that we don't show our affections and that we cry in silence. We don't like others to see tears in our eyes and it's very true that when we go through a rough patch, we pretend to be happy. It's just that we are designed in such a way.
Speaking of myself, I'm a phenemenon and damn weirdo. Guess, I do things differently and I've earned things like, stop running for friends like that or they will take you for granted. Well, let them take for granted, I don't fucking care. In a nutshell, I am completely unpredictable and emotional by nature..whoa did I just said that? You see, I may not show my emotions but do things in such a way to make you feel special. Guess, they don't make man like me anymore..lol..belief in the adage, give and give...I just don't publicly show my emotions coz I have never believed in that. I prefer to do things in my own way and if there is need to go out of my way to make someone feel special or happy, I shall do so. Well, that's me.

Days of innocence

Hey pals,
wassup! Just watched Bubble Gum, a cool flick about the tribulations of being 14...woh Bachpan ke din..woh stupid fights, first cush albeit falling in love..woh bachpana..first cigarette..first time you fall for the chick and wanna her to see you. At that age, there is no proposal..no date at CCD or Barrista. That was the age where der was no cellphone, net as in Facebook or Orkut..You like her or you add her. Today, they have it so easy na? SMS, FB, Twitter..The cute days of our lives.
At one point, you just stand on the bus stop, waiting to catch a glimpse of her..you wanna talk to her but you are scared..dil dhadak raha tha..ab bhi dhadhak rahai hai..this innocence..I mean this part of love or crush hasn't changed at all. kahan gaye woh din?! Just a thought.
The first cigarette that you puffed..chupke chupke..fearing that gossip-walli aunty that you hated so much will spell it off to mom. Hiding from Mom and Dad and running away from home to meet your frienz and when you get late, you try to sneak in the house. If you are caught, you are screwed. I would always get beaten by mom and was shit scared of her. Padhai karo you idiot, your xams are coming..ab parents ko kaun samhjaega ke jab ishq hogaye padhai se kaam nahin chalta hai, bey. Parents were so booring...oops pardon..serious about our studies. The time one tries to be a good boy for a day just to get the mouth watering ice cream or chocolate..Rishwat dena khood papa ne sikhaya...get good marks, you will get a watch nahin to a stick will land on your bum. Mastikhor, we all were and today, in the humdrum of job, we seems to have the lost the child in us. We have become soo serious that we have forgotten how to live life and jump wid joy...Hey, I'm a cool dude, are you?
O' childhood days, O' childhood days why don't you wanna come back again? I'm so tired being an adult these days? Life is such a lost cause playing an adult..On top of that, I'm terribly missing my college days..like hell..The time when there is no worry in life...no tension of job, salary and responsibilities..will these magic days in college comeback? bunking lectures, relationship shits and crazy stuffs we've done..sitting with mates and deciding which girls are hot and cute on campus...Life was such an ice cream kinda situation and lil' did we realized that it gonna melt..and it did..and I'm happy dat we enjoyed the ice cream before it melted out. Nothing like college days. And to imagine many of the pals are married and shouldering responsibilities..The saturday booze, gandia party and movies in the early morning.
Time to sign off now..I know, I know, it's a kinda of shitty post but, but..neways.
Happy Sunday.
Let's take a vow...not to lose the child within.

Auto-biographically yours

It's been long, I haven't written anything auto-biographical, at least, for the first time..I'm going auto-biographical on this blog for the first. At the risk of making it sound like a self bio-epic or dramatic. let me assure you all that I'm alive and kicking. I'm hale and hearty and doing very well in life. One is tempted to say, life is magical and beautiful.
Since you all know that I've been to Goa and explored on my own this year, it was the best thing that happened to me. It was my first trip and reached Goa on 31 December and stayed till 3 January. It was a soul-stirring journey and my spirit was flowing in South Goa, Konakona till the North side, Panjim/ Miramar. I traveled a lot from one point to the other and made new friends. Unfortunately, I couldn't meet Kaku, a dear Goan friend and educated myself in the city. I love Baga beach lane and saw quite a few dolphins. Bonds of friendship were strengthened, made new friends and got help from unexpected quarters.
The year started on a great note and looks like, things will move swiftly this year. I'm high on that and the year seems to unfold itself with unexpected zing. My God! How time changes and for good. Perhaps, at this point of time last year, things didn't seemed bright at all and now how the optimistic side of life is unfurling itself. I am a happy man as I realized my joy for traveling.
Finally, after aeons I am able to work on my script for my short film and my novel. Yes, it is taking shape and already penned some 9 pages for the novel and the script has neared four pages. I have sent the initial script to a friend who works as an assistant film maker for feedback. So, I'm waiting for the suggestions and will be taking it from there. I am also seeking advice from another friend who worked as an AD with Prakash Jha on Rajneeti and Aarakshan. So, for the time being Mr script is on the back burner. I need feedback on the essence of a bound script, amid locations. This is missing in the script. Hope to finalize at least three short scripts towards the year end.
Speaking of novel writing, I already finished reading the auto-biography of Dev Anand, Revolution 2020 and I am currently reading Rashmi Bhansal's I have a Dream and Ohh Yes, I am Single....And So Is My GirlFriend!Lovely book. It's a complete page turner and is all about today's youth in India. I'm hooked to it.
I'm yet to get out of my holiday mood and it's still within me..Good thing is that I was and am able to de-addict myself from Facebook. It's such a relief. My entire life is such a gamut of contradictions, unpredictability. At one moment, I am extrovert and the next moment, I turn to the silent mood. Can't help it..I have been designed in such a way!!!! Right now, I am going into my famous withdrawal way and wanna cut myself from the whole world..can't do it much coz at work, I gotta interact but I shall interact less for some time..and then back home, back to my moody-cum-withdrawal element. It happens to me from time-to-time and I find peace and serenity in that. I'm such a moody being..can't help it, my sun sign is cancer.
Relationships have become more and more complex..There was this gal which I kinda liked and dated in the past. After college, I was wondering where the fuck she disappeared and searched for her on Facebook like hell. She reminded me of sweet moments spent together. But, when I just found her on FB, now I'm not very much interested in sending her a friend request or message for that matter. Life is complex and equation is even more complex. That's life....My Life. Why am I like that? Completely insane.
I've been quite inactive on blog and the brightest part is that at least I have the time to write some quality posts in comparison to every mundane things I was writing. Till last year, it almost became an obsession but not this time. So far, so good. I watched Dhoom 1 last night and reminded me of college days. Speaking of college days, I'm missing it like hell..I wonder whether I will ever be able to get out of it. Time flies and whatever, we've done..the masti, fun and illegal stuffs..it seems like yesterday only..God knows it will never come back but perhaps in a magical package..who knows?
Must also admit that the day ended not in such a great mood..I felt bad for something which happened due to my lack of judgement..hell no!Nothing tragic..anyways
Will come back in a jollier mood..life is beautiful yet complex..I'm even more complex. Trying to create space for myself:)