Dating and break up saga

 

Relationships are fickle. Some stay with us forever while the rest disappear like the dint of sand soaked in the sea waves. Break ups can tear us apart. In some uniquely fashioned cases or which is rather the norm nowadays, relationships survive for a couple of weeks and months which help us to sail through without going through the emotional trauma. It’s all about the vibes and no heavy duty burden or load. Depression sinks in when we find it tough to thrive and survive without the person who was our swan song or lil whispers cooing in the ears on the phone early morning.

 There is no point hitting the rock bottom of emptying the liquor bottle, crying in the company of mushy emotional songs or nursing wounds for the whole day.  Yes! I now see no point cursing the self about a short relationship going kaput for negative energy sucks to the core. The trick lies in getting up and hitting the latest party in town. Get sloshed if you may and start dating again. The pubs and parties are often a haven for singletons looking to hook up or having a scene. It doesn't matter if you are ending up with someone for a harmless fling or a Tandoori night. It helps to ward off emotional crisis. 

 It makes sense to be in a spree of affairs and I am not advocating two-timing kinda hit and bang but rather treading fearlessly to explore your inner side as a human being. It can be very therapeutic and strengthens the soul which grows in terms of carving out emotional balance in life. 

One of the worst things that can happen in a terrible break up or romance gone sour is that it can sap our emotional confidence and gloat into the growing distrust of human relationships. Avoid entering this pitfall which is detrimental to your growth and no point mulling over what went wrong for the past cannot come back. The most logical thing to do is to look ahead, meet new people, explore and be a wild stallion. Yes! I ain't kidding. 

As humans, we tend to go back too much to a haunting past and wear blinkers where the road ahead is seen as a bumpy road while a smooth sailing reality stares at us. It's a trait in many of us who have experienced heart breaks or hurt. We tend to run away from meeting people or even a hint of being interested from the other person is met with the scorn, often the defence mechanism employed to push people away.

Relationships are not updates or selfies that we need to put on Facebook or Instagram to seek out validations. Nor are heart breaks adultery or the biggest sins committed on earth. High time to take a chill pill and go easy on the self. So what? Screw ups happen in life. About time to stop being so obsessive about this thing called love or till death does us about apart kinda crap. It's the biggest misnomer which turns us into jilted lovers and prevent in exploring real relationships with an open mind.  

Post break up, remind yourself that there is no need to be stuck with this extra baggage and hang out with someone forever for there are relationships that come with an expiry date. It's plain stupid to hang on to someone. Just enjoy the times spent together and move on.

Love

V

Spotting an ex: How to stay cool and ease out!

Running for cover to hide behind dense foliage as if the enemy camp has burst your bubble in real time war zone. Relax! You've just spotted your ex in a party or friends' reunion post the break-up period. Awkwardness can and will creep in. Wrack your brains. Woah!

Image credit: Google.

First thing first, there is no choice left and you cannot possibly flee the spot as if you are the Kohinoor thief. Breathe in and out. Just say a formal hello and flit through the group, asking her well-being and move to other people. Don't give the impression that he or she is making you awkward. It's fine. People get into relationships and break up. As it is, you were not planning to spend the entire existence with them. Just loosen up and enjoy your drink.

Secondly, take a friend into confidence. Such an emergency situation calls for a friend and screw up all ego trip, just tell them there is a certain awkwardness and no lame joke on both of you for onlookers will be watching. Who knows? This friend may just wrestle you to the bar to enjoy drinks introduce you to singles-in case you are interested, and dancing madly to distract your focus from the past man or women.  You can hit on hot singles at the bar. The close buddies are often the saving grace to make this thing call awkwardness disappear.

Thirdly, don't drink too much. Alcohol can work wonders on the mind like fuse where you may end up as a fool in front of the ex by indulging in silly antics or raking up old demons. Remember the ex is now Uncle Sam or Agony aunt who is watching to take sadistic pleasure in making you an asshole in front of people. Mind you, if it's a terrible break up, he or she would never miss an opportunity to get even with you by spreading news that a sloshed ex turned lover again turned fool wanna wear her stilettos.

Fourth, don't try to be over-friendly. Old flames are like the raging fire in the forest. It doesn't take time to ignite a spark. Be civil and charming. Don't try to be overfriendly with each other for it's such a horrible idea to have a fling with an ex or getting back since such things doesn't really work post that stage. Just ask about each other and move to greener pasture.

Finally, let your hair down and dance as if there is no tomorrow. You are not making a point to anyone and certainly not to the ex but treating yourself with booze and dance for don't they say, 'Dance till you drop'. Dancing is therapeutic and helps to flush out any emotional pang, anger, anxiety or strange feeling at his or her sight. That way, the ex-lover will see that you are neither missing them nor holding to ill feelings.

Love
Vishal

The trapping of Friend Zone: Dos and Donts

You’ve just been friend-zoned! Wobbling voice, late night sms-es...oops sorry, nowadays, I forgot how cool Whatsapp is nowadays and morning routine wake-up call as if you are some bird rattling on her window sill and squeaking to wake her up from last night’s party.

Tired of the hint that you give her by flirting on how ravishing she looks which your lady love to simply brush it out with , ‘Shut up! You idiot!’ You find everything cute about her, the stupid jokes, coy smile, laughs, and childishness. Why can’t you fucking bare open your heart to express how much you drool over her? There is always a risk. The Lakshman Rekha, I know. You are too scared and insecure to over step the boundary. Loss of friendship and a beautiful relationship is at stake. You toss on the bed at night, staying wide awake with the eyes popping out and playing flames on the crumpled white paper for you are unsure about her feelings for you.

Remember Ae Dil Hai Mushkil, the character played by Anushka, Alizeh loves Ranbir aka Ayan but as a friend. Poor dude Ayan! He has been friend-zoned and couldn’t come to terms with it.

Catch 22: Go Get a Life

It's a catch 22 situation. You do the run around for her and double as her good man Friday. After all, do you see a future with her? Here we are not talking bout getting married or producing beautiful babies but a casual thing, yes or probably romance. There is always a risk. For sure, she is no friend with benefit or fuck buddy if both of you emotionally cling to each other. What happens when both of your decide to call it quits? The pain or hurt expressed when the friendship goes for a toss. It holds no future for both of you. Where is the relationship taking you?

The most sensible thing to do is avoid doing the running around and confidant like the puppy or couch that she snuggles her head to share everything, ranging from BFF zone, jealousy, clothes or the guy she drools over. You are the perfect balloon where she vents out almost everything.


Please for fuck sake don’t keep moving around only with her as if she’s some trophy and don’t forget the golden rule of millions fish to catch in the pond. Stop shutting yourself from the window of opportunities. You look like a best friend mushy corn that she loves to munch. I am not saying don’t be nice but in plain words: Go, Get a Life.

Build on that friendship

You see a future with her. You've been friend-zoned. Caught between the devil and the deep blue sea! Many relationships thrive on steady friendships. Get your priority right! Perhaps you need to shift your gaze away from her and meet new people, new chicks. Flit around and keep a normal distance. She might sense something odd or will realize she is missing you. You can casually ask whether she is missing you and gently broach the topic that you are looking not just for friendship but a relationship which is much beyond BFF type.

Play the waiting game

Love and matters of the heart bloom with hope. In today's time where relationships are casually fickle, you tend to build a mountain of expectations and patiently waiting her breaking up with the boyfriend. Relationships are casual. There are chances of breaking up. Don’t push her away or else, you might lose someone precious. Listen to her tales of insensitive boyfriend, uncaring and matters of the heart she's unwilling to tell her boyfriend. She needs a shoulder to lean and cry. Be that person! The trusted man who would always stand by her without judging no matter what. Make her feel beautiful and desirable.

Friendship vs love vs romance

Often, there is a blurred line between friendship, romance, and physical attraction. It can get physical. Been there and done that, falling for your best friend. It can kill you every nanosecond of life. It's confusing, gloomy and feels like hitting flies with your palm turning into mosquito nets. Be a brand. Most of the girls have several male friends and overnight, they cannot make one of them which is you the boyfriend or sleep with since they bored with life. What is your USP? For sure, you are contented being just a friend in this whole equation. First, thing, just don’t overdo thing that will push her away. Breathe and proceed calmly.

Value her space

We all love our space. It’s a given. Her space means the world to her and don’t suffocate her by stalking her in every nook-and-corner to think ultimately, you are the most welcome in her bedroom. Don’t ask about her exes or her past sex life. Trust me, it’s annoying to the core. How would you like if a female friend is at your neck? Think from that perspective. Control your emotions. It’s quite tricky. Who knows she is taking the time to get over the ex-boyfriend or past relationship that hurts? Such things take a long time to heal. Give her time and space to figure things out. Don’t give the impression that you are in a hurry. Take things slowly and harness the relationship.

Improve yourself

Be a stud and a cool dude that doesn’t fret over simple things like ‘friendzoned’, love and romance. You can surprise her by opening the door of the car, surprise with flowers and hold her chair during lunch or dinner. Be desirable. You don’t need to attend to every single call or Whatsapp message she sends and reply as soon as she pinged.  Drop subtle hints. You gotta chill if freak is inherent in your genes. Gentle prod her if there is a special one in her life or she has an interest in someone. Read the signs and if there is a need to move, just do it in a gentlemanly and charming manner. That way, your friendship stays intact. Don’t be Ayan. You may not be Mister Perfect but a real charmer that will earn you respect and be at your charming best. Who knows she may fall for your charm and chase you down the road!

Chuck our niceties

Be naughty and stop being nice for its dull and boring. The days of being nice is gone, dusted and buried. It’s time to play wicked for girls don’t like good boys. Yes! It’s true. Chuck out nice and be real. Stop wearing the cloak of the dude who loves selflessly and gives freely. Wear a tattoo, get drunk, party heavily and hit on women.

For You ladies!

This one is for you, Womaniya! Who says women don’t get friend zoned in the world of Tinder. It’s time to get rid of your Sati Savitri image. Be smoking and piping red hot, wear that super short skirt showing your sexy legs, tone your bodies and flirt shamelessly. In short, sex it up! All of us are tired being just a friend, be it a man or woman.

Learn to let go. It’s a virtue. So, the next time you are friend-zoned, figure it out like a pro, go on a dating spree and come back to see if he or she misses you or nurture feeling. Be honest and share your feeling, not without telling that you are tired of getting into that play zone.

Love
Vishal

Monsoon Affair (13)

Monsoon Affair (13)

It's been raining for several nights. Ayush has been doing the round of Huma's apartment and kept pressing the bell much to the irritation of her neighbors. A lady in her late 50s stormed out of her house and scolded Ayush, "Why don't you people realize that there are people who live here? I have a small child who gets disturbed with you pressing the bell so furiously."

He apologized and asked, "Aunty! Is she around?" The lady rudely called him off! "Baba! How would I know? She keeps coming at night, disturbing people's sleep with her heavy footsteps and disappears for days and nights only to re-appear again. She was such a nice girl but behaves very weird nowadays."

He has been waiting to see Huma for several days, lingering near her apartment till the early morning and slipped some notes to the security guard, to get shelter in the box sized office at the gate's entrance. He saw her scampered past the gate and trailed her till her apartment. He called her name, 'Huma' and she was shaken on seeing him. Huma was aghast, "What are you doing here?" He stood still and threatened, "Let me in or else, I am going to create a scene here," forcing his way inside the apartment.

Ayush started shouting, "What is your problem? Why the fuck are being so weird? I just don't get that!!! You just disappear like that and no response from you. I love you damn it."
She ignored him, "It's over between us and was just a passing affair. As it is, I don't believe in this love crap. Why don't you go with that bitch Sonali with whom you were having a good time?"
He sarcastically smiled, "Of course you love me. I got my answer. But, there is something that you are hiding and I will find out."
"No, I don't love you. You better get that and stop making our lives hell. Move on and get a life," she protested.
"Of course you do. Stop hurting yourself. Freaking out and staying for the whole night at the hospital and now, getting jealous about me and Sonali. I don't know what you are into but I have the feeling that you are screwing your life."
She shouted, "Yes! I am harming myself and it's not your problem. Stop bothering me, will you? I have no feeling and used you for my own advantage. Can't you see that? It's my life and you have no right to interfere."
Ayush was getting crazy but maintained his calm. "I got your answer and it's time for me to leave and go. I just don't understand the hows but the way you are reacting shows that you've have been hurt in your life, rejected by people and the frustration is showing. You are trying to seek revenge by inflicting the same on me. It must be your parents not giving you attention or some lover rejecting you."
She raised her voice and sobbed, "I dare you don't get into my parents. You don't have the right to pass comment on me without understanding what I've been through."
He persisted, "What you've been through? Tell! If you got some guts rather than running away like a coward."
She shrieked, "Get out of my house." Ayush turned around and banged the door.

**************************************
Ayush  stopped at the tapdi and ordered a cutting on the busy afternoon. He lit a cigarette when someone touched him on his shoulder. "You love her, don't you?" he was taken aback by the feminine voice. He was startled when he saw Huma's best friend, Niharika. She dragged him away from the tea stall, flung ten rupee note on the tea seller.
As they walked past the crowded street and traffic signal, Niharika coldly said, "Huma is in deep shit and we gotta save her. She loves you but is on a destruction spree. My best friend has only one thing on her mind and it's vengeance."
He was confused and too shocked to say anything. "Let's barge into her apartment. I need to show you something. Don't think. Let's do it for her sake and preventing her to do something very stupid. It's a question of life-and-death. I just found out."

Monsoon Affair (11)

Monsoon Affair (11)

The room was dark and he slowly opened his eyes, gaped for breath. The man with a protruded belly tried to move but couldn't. His vision became blurred and the only thing he could hear was the pitter-patter of rain outside. He almost fainted and was drained of energy. The voice became weak as he tried to speak, 'Is anyone here? Please save me and have mercy on this old man. What crime have I committed?' Sobs!
He finally knocked passed out on the wooden chair where some unknown people tied him. It' been two days where he has  been lying like that and was only fed with water to keep him alive.
Splash of water woke him up when he heard loud foot steps and could make out that the shadow that emerged was dressed completely in black trousers, jacked and boot. He slowly perched his head towards the shadow when a torch flashed on his eyes. He mumbled something but his weak voice failed him and wished that he could die at this moment, to be relieved of his helplessness. A voice greeted him, 'Namaste, Sirjee! I know that you are praying for someone to save you but nobody will ever hear your voice in this dim room.'
The voice became sarcastic, 'Don't worry, you will not die so easily. I am making sure that you will be kept alive to make this Monsoon memorable. It's the last stage in your life. Chill! Ah! How can you?
The footsteps moved away from the old man, who started coughing and wished someone would hear him in this place, cut off from the city where only pigeons roamed and the innocent laugh of small  children dancing to music played faraway and at a looming distance. He passed out a second time, losing his identity and thought about his wife and children, who died five years back. Perhaps, they have come to take him with them.
He could hear a voice calling him, 'Oye! Shankar! What a glorious name you have! Yet! You are a sinner and you will have to atone for the crimes committed. ' Shankar was unconscious and no power on earth could make him hear the voice, determined to torment him and make his life hell. He shall beg for death yet it would elude him. After all, the mystery person will make old Shankar pay for a sin he has forgotten.

****************************************
Huma jumped of the bed and was visibly shaken by the nightmare where the vision of the old and helpless man kept popping in her dreams. She walked to the bathroom and washed her face. She tried to shrug off the nightmare and walked out of her apartment, hailed a rickshaw towards the railway station. The thought of Varun kept coming in her mind and grinned, "I hope he will understand why I am doing all that." The train slowly rattled at platform No.2 and Huma pushed her way towards the women compartment to find herself an empty berth. She didn't want to be disturbed at this moment and pushed all thoughts of Varun away. Love is such a big lie and illusion in life. The ruthless emotions can make someone weak and wander aimlessly. She forcefully smiled.

Love calculation (1)

There is no calculus theorem of love..oh!Dear and respected mathematicians of the world..how come you've skipped the word called 'Love' while designing the greatest theory. What is love? Why does it happen? When it happens, why don't we measure its pros and cons?
Before falling in love with someone,there are certain things that we need to calculate. Like, do I have any future in this relationship? What if it doesn't work? Can I afford to inflict self-harm to myself? The wound from my relationship has not been completely healed. So, why should I get into the lovey-dovey romantic relationship? Am I being fair to myself and to the other person?
There is no denying the fact that in the start love looks so beautiful and is the most amazing feeling in the world. You have the impression that you are the happiest person in the world and life looks perfect. It can't get better than that. The person is the most amazing person in the world and he or she cannot be wrong. You get into those mushy thingies, red rose, wine, candle light dinner, roaming into the deserted streets, holding hands over your cuppa coffee and in the theater, stealing a kiss in the monsoon. Your sex life is also the most awesome thing. Then, bingo!

As soon as you get to know the person, you actually get into the thinking the mode: Is she or he the same person I knew in the start? Am I in a proper relationship? Will it do good for me? Why am I still in the relationship with her? There are so many what ifs raging in your mind. Then, after some time, the fights and your brain altogether stop functioning..As they say, love is the malfunction of the brain. Like Meghna told me last time, sometimes people don't use their brains when they fall in love and end up doing sensical things and don't realize how stupid they look. She was speaking in a particular context and looks like she was directed her ire at guy. Well babe! Both the dudes and gals get into those things, though women are much more smarter, intelligent and sometimes, practical than their male counterparts.
There are some standards that we set before meeting somebody and most of the time when you meet that person, she never meets such criterias. Will she be sweet and compassionate? Is she someone with whom I can have a meaningful conversation and believe in principles? She is not one of the scheming and manipulative lot..sense of humor, enjoying every moment of life is lacking in her and often you are in for a big disappointment. Often, we set standards for our next relationship...will she be hot and good at making out? caring, sensitive and understanding..and when you meet, you feel that they are a total reject?
Then, you meet somebody who shares the same ideas...i mean or less..we all have qualities and weakness..you get into thinking..am I reading to take the plunge and get into this serious relationship? Serious thoughts crop into your mind and what if?! True, you are no longer a college student that you will be able to face the break up or shit like that..you have a life, remember and what if the person doesn't give your space in the relationship. C'mon, we may decide to live together and it's actually a big effort on the part of both of us to share our bedroom or room for that matter since it is a very private space in our life. Once it happens, there are certain adjustment that need to be made. Back to the love calculation-kinda-theorem, I have my own life and expect her to have a life of my own. I always believe that in a relationship, there should be a charter-I live my life and you live yours and you free to meet both your male and female friends--my pals and buddies. If I am meeting a long female buddy for a drink that doesn't mean that I am having an affair. There is something called Trust in a relationship. You meet your male friends and I don''t have any fucking problem with that coz if I am meeting the babes for a drink, then I don't have a right to stop you. Then, you shouldn't behave like an obsessive lover and starts calling me every now and then when I am working in the office, at the university or happily boozing with friends.
However, it's also true when love doesn't come all planned and you wake up in the morning, deciding to fall in love with someone. I know it just happens. And, when it happens what do you do, go for it?! Remember, I have my love calculus and measuring all my options. As I said, I wouldn't like to hurt myself and in that sense, I would prefer an open relationship with her coz I wouldn't like to eat too much of time and getting into the relationship hassles.
The reason is very simple: The last time I took a hell longish time to get out of my breakup and wouldn't like to fuck up things. As they say lessons learned. But! There is always a but! Love is like gravity and it just happens like Shit happens in life. What do we do then? Does our love calculus goes for a toss? Falling in love cannot be prevented. Should we chase it coz a second chance doesn't really comes..though I don't subscribe to this view....
Remember, I have my love calculus.....
To be continued...................

Loved..Lost..No regrets

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Can we love,lose that someone and feel no regret all? You've loved, thinking she's the one and that you wouldn't surviving without her. She's your world and doomsday strikes. All of a sudden, differences crops in and the relationship turns sour. Time for break up. It's always very painful and takes hellish time to get out of it. I took one year and perhaps more to get out of my earlier relationship. I couldn't come to terms with it. In plainish term, I wasn't ready to accept that the relationship was over. What followed was the frantic blank calls or un returned smses..I just wanna know what went wrong and how was I to blame in the relationship? Mine was a complex story and I was ever ready to leave everything for her. But, it just din't work out the way we wanted to..
Relationships are so complex as friends comfort us..U shall overcome it. Indeed. Now the simple question is: Why that person who meant the world to you no longer makes any difference to your life? Why her name doesn't evoke anything. Yet, you were ready to fight the world to be together and the till death do us apart thing? Were there any regrets? The fights, the blame game-I'm happy I din't indulged into this one.
I fail to understand as how her name doesn't evoke anything now. Does this mean that I have moved on to better things in life. Frankly, I don't know..I really don't know. It doesn't mean that I didn't cherish the wonderful moments spent together and the first time we crossed each other or the first date. Far from that, I cherish each and every moment of us being together. I smile when thinking of these moments. Just the other day, I was going through her pics and looking at my personal diaries on the dates we met. But, honestly speaking, it was just that and nothing more. By the way, I am planning to write a novel on our moments spent together. I dunno know why I am planning for a book on our aha moments and our break up. Of course, some events will be altered and names changed. But, but, question marks and better it is left unanswered!!
Na woh bewafaa thi Na hum bewafaa tha..kya karein  hamari kismat judaa thi!!
Does it ring a bell in your ears? have you come across such a thing? Was it a learning experience and education on the essence of a relationship? Normally, I try seeking out answers and explaining what went wrong and the after math of a break up? Only, difference is that now I am trying to understand several things of what it was before and now why it doesn't make any difference. Perhaps, the person brought some changes and positive energy in our life and has gone to light a candle in another person's life. Is it the law of nature? Is there any answer to life, love and break up?
Questions sought and answers needed. As human we cling to each other and we are the biggest clingers. After all, we are human beings and all of a sudden we detach ourselves from our previous moments of life. No we don't do it with intention or motive so as not to suffer. It becomes a natural thing.

Effective ways to break up with your gal-For males only

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

If there is something I wanna change bout you, it's that you are a sick bitch who always love emotional blackmail to get things done in your favor. You are such a shameless bitch and I just wanna tell you during sex how I hate such crap. It's one thing I hate the most bout you. The worse part is how do you use sex to make yourself desirable and makes me run around.
Hey fellas!It's the sure shot to get the hell of your babe out of your life.

The second pointer to get rid of her--ok tread with caution here:
Go to her house and after kissing her and making up in the kitchen, take her cell phone and send lovey dovey messages to your ex or some love interests. When she replies back, don't delete the message or better still,don't pick up the phone.Let her discover your antics and in no time, they will communicate-your ex-ex and your to be ex.Be ready to face her wrath, drama before she becomes your ex.
Here's the big one an dis one sure to awake the dead volcano, the tigress inside her. Propose sex to her best friend or one of her shopping cum gossip cum kitty party compagnion. Gals love to gossip and it will be an occasion to screw you. Next moment, you walk in happily without her and heave fresh air around.
Always drop a nice,flirting line on the Face Book profile of the female,classmate she hates the most for being a boy friend stealer.Pointer, how you doing,babe?Let's catch up sometimes over coffee at CCD. Now, this one is tsunami and it's the best way for her to break up with you. See, you gotta no effort to make and she'll be the one pulling the plug.
Never stick to the thing she loves people around her  to do or indulge in things she hates the most.Of she likes you wear yellow short, wear pink always and if she looks at you, make as if you can't get the vibes. Act terribly weird. Or, keep her room in a mess and through your clothes on the bed,use plates and mugs in the kitchen and keep them idle somewhere if she's a clean maniac kind of chick.
Be the devil and why we should always run around and designed to so by the women to do stuffs they wanna us to do?Point noted!!!Like I hate being the kind of good guy the chicks think I am. I wanna be mean,evil and have grey in me.I urge all of you m,en folks to do so. Be mean to your gal friend, live in partner and wife but not to your awesome female friends.Let's be mean and as it is, chicks,babes whatever we call them,love mean guys.So,guyzzzz what are you waiting for?/If they can gang up against us,the feminists so can we for a change!!!!!!!
Here we go.