2015-12-31

Truth or Dare


Image source: Google/Wiki How
know you are in for some good fun when you've downed half the bottle of beer and vodka and your crazy friends machiavellian ideas pop up for Truth or Dare. You've been caught on the wrong foot when the bottle rolls towards your legs when the gang sit cross legged on the mattress on the floor.
Think and act fast: Truth or Dare. Common sense tells that you should opt for Truth for you might just lie to be on the safe side of life. Or, you run the risk of being harassed for the rest of your life by your mad friends. It's not that we don't enjoy the game and we do when the sword hangs on the head of your friends. Nah! You ain't spilling the beans when you are grilled on the one who want to sleep with in college or the chick you smooched or got naughty in the fresher's party. You run the risk of being stared at in college and getting angry stared. If she knows you've spilled the beans or confession about your lust for her, God only save you from the boiling blood of the angry woman. Saat Khoon Maaf for you may the one missing to complete her list.
The fun has just started and as soon as the clock struck midnight, you are asked to perform dirty dancing, kissing the wall or declaring your flame to the girl in the room. Don't think too much for the smarty pants know that you are lying or making up things. Who knows you might be filmed secretly and your antics will go viral on the net. There are other ways to be famous and if the next-door-aunty sees your video, even cops won't save you from your parents. Be ready to be given a sermon, Na Laaj na Sharam, on bringing disrepute to the family.
It's the time to rack your brains and be creative at least, rather than asking the same old questions, 'How did you break up or where did you have sex or making up with a sex worker?' It can be so lame!! Honestly, I remember us playing Truth or Dare when someone asked something on the line of which actor you like the most among both of your favorites. It's a tale of not knowing what to ask. Make it sexy and hot!! I love being controversial and once asked my best friend in front of his girl friend whether he's game for some action with his ex. You can imagine the expression on the face of his girl friend.

Truth or Dare
Ok Truth!
Have you ever stripped?
When was the last time someone saw you naked?
When did you last tripped on the dance floor?
Did you propose to a stranger on the street?
Have you ever fallen for your best friend's partner or lusted about the aunty next door?

Dare with the question and ask the dude, known to be a prankster, to wear a sari and dance to the tune of 'Jab Tak Hai Jaan' from Sholay or ask the random boy or girl to smooch for 5 seconds. Do it at your own risk! Or asking someone to run naked on the street. It's another thing that you might be thrown off the house and made to sleep like a homeless.

Such games are always fun when we get to know the dirty secrets of pals and it makes for a juicy encounter. Sometimes, I would spin the bottle with speed to ensure it doesn't go back to me or measure the distance in my mind to target my victim. I enjoyed playing Truth or Dare with friends during college days and it was the bestest part of life. How I miss playing it? Hope during the next reunion, will insist that we play for the sake of old days. What's your story of Truth or Dare. Spill the beans.

2015-12-24

Santa Claus is coming tonight


Image credit: Google
Santa Claus! Santa Claus is coming!
Polish the shoes shiny black,
paint the town by wearing red.
Decorate the X-Mas tree with trinket and bells.
Stay awake till midnight,
the eyes getting all teary but finally the lids close.
Tired of waiting for the white bearded fellow,
crossing the seas, clouds and mountains.
He's an old dude, carrying bundle of gifts for everyone.
Sad, I can't see him and say Hi.
I always wanted to hold his hand, touch his skin and feel how real he is.
Hey! Old chum! Every time, I miss you to death and reveal yourself this time,
for I wanna whisper my wish into your ears.
So many dreams to share and convey my aspirations to you for you can make them real.
Fascinated I am with your boots, red clothes, specs falling on your long nose and white beard.
Where do you come from?
What do you?
Where you stay?
I wanna know it all, everything about you.
Come on! Spell it out!
Do you drink wine?
I shall keep some vodka for you.
They say, variety keeps you hale and hearty.
I wanna see all my toys and goodies in the misty morning.
Excited I am! Hungry for more.
I wanna all the toys, miracles and happiness.
Every December 25, you make a difference to children like me in spreading happiness.
You make me glow.
I shall make a positive difference to the lives of others.
It's a vow.
Perhaps, only then I will not doze on X-mas and we will meet.
Longing to see you, Santa Claus.
Merry X-Mas.

With Love
Vishal

2015-12-21

December 16: Darkness engulfs existence



December 16.
A grim reminder on darkness encapsulating a nation.
The light went off yet Nirbhaya, brought us together,
a powerful lesson that she remains eternal among us. 
She echoed the fight that shall never put to rest,
for she is the light that shall overpower darkness.
A symbol for women, perhaps,
to fight for respect and equality,
despite her soul was mutilated.
Her name, Jyoti Singh, whose parents are putting a brave fight every single day.
Three years has passed.
The daunting courage of her parents should be lauded for never letting her spirit die.
We owe it to her for pushing a nation to say NO to rape.
Moments of sadness and distress shrills our heart,
when her perpetrator walks free.
Justice is blind to the suffering of a soul, a family and countless women facing sexual harassment and children raped.
December 16!
Lest we forget!
Small and innocent children killed by mass murderers in a school.
Tender beings killed in the flower bud.
How can one destroy cradles of innocence!
Shame on us for shrieking voices doesn't move humans.
How can they be so inhuman that tenderness doesn't move them and the power of hatred wins over love and compassion?
Fellow humans!!
Have you no shame?
Where you came from and how you grow up from an innocent child to hate mongers?
Peace and love is eluding us like the dark cloud.
We shall take a plea to spread love and humanity around.
No! Hatred shall not win or the whole humanity will stand in decay.
A prayer to the memories of Jyoti Singh and innocent children killed.

Spread Love
V

2015-12-13

Wheel of time


Like rotating change and the tide of the wind,
life speeds at 360 degrees.
The wheel of time is not static but ever changing.
Sometimes we lose track as we are carried by the undercurrent of change,
incurring its wrath.
Coming to terms with change and coping with the wheel of time,
we are caught in the storm.
The real self takes a beating and frustration over powers the soul.
Our body and mind loses its sense of balance and gnawed by weakness.
Jolted by electric sensation and the body is crumpled to suddenly growing old,
the mind hovers to the sensational past and the now where the light has faded.
It sends depressing feeling to the mind where happiness is lost in translation.
The urge to fight the battle has waned.
Sometimes, we must stop for a while to let feeling of pessimism to sink in.
Rekindle the urge to fight the inner demons and start everything from Zero.
It's the changing tide and wheel of time at storming speed.
Never battle against the crushing force for it may exterminate us.
Conquer its speed with a calm mind and let the force wreak havoc.
There will come a time when its mighty force will emasculate.
Like a smart warrior, play the cards wisely and attack to conquer the dreaded enemy.
Mount like a victor on the wheel of time.

2015-12-11

Donald is not a duck



Donald is not a duck but a Trump and the joker in The Dark Night would fade in comparison if the man of the moment had its way in the US Presidential election. How I wish to gorge on my favorite Donald burger minus the Mc! How Donald's Trump is competing with his Indian counterparts on beef ban and everything that matters?
It seems that the Yankees version of Donald has been afflicted by the virus of banning Muslims. 'Train to Pakistan' reloaded the US way and howz about an Indo-US version of star wars: Ticket to Pakistan vs Ban Muslims! Cool idea, na. And, we thought that such entertainment in the name of politics happens only in India or sub-continent. Na re! Na re!! It (Doesn't) Happen Only in India. Mithun-da must be clapping his hands, Kya Baat! Kya Baat! Kya Baat!
Namo's new found brother who was was separated at the railway station..who else? Barack da Obama must be smiling at the self-destructive trump card in the game. Our, Hillary Clinton is sweating less for the Donald's mouth mystery or jabbing, will make her cut her campaign trail short in the former constituency. Oh! I almost forget that our Donald doesn't have a specific constituency. No Man's Land yet banning everything. They say, Voldemort will slowly rise against Trump for people are warming to him. Sniff! Sniff!! Whatta jolly good fellow our Voldemort was to that Trump dude.
Politics is the perfect couch for strange bed fellows. How bout Donald Trump, business magnate, investing in a flick 'Ban ya ticket to Pakistan'. A joint venture that would give a boost to the 'Make in India' campaign and he can spread his wings to Pakistan in pockets where 'Nafratein' is at its peak. Our Trump will put his money in the mouth at places where hate is at its peak. 
Heard that they are planning to ban this Donald in UK where 400,000 signatures has been reached. Whatta political career the man has in US!Truly cross over. He has already stopped short before hitting the highway. He might just give Imtiaz Ali a complex and must be wondering, why the fuck he made Highway. At least, I should have waited for this Donald Trump or better invite him to invest for a sequel on Ban the Highway.
Our Donald Trump is like Ram Gopal Verma who doesn't remember the movies that he makes nowadays since everything is screwed. Holy fuck! All India Bakchod would rant at this Donald. I am wondering what must the Donald wearing nowadays...sailor shirt, red bow tie and cap. Going at this rate, who knows our Trump might get lucky and hate mongers in India may just adopt him..Mere do anmol ratan ek hai Sakshi Maharaj aur ek Donald Trump.

2015-12-06

Wild entry Sooraj Bharjatya in Big Boss, making it a Parivaar show

This written post is aimed to tickle your funny bones and is an imaginative take on Sooraj Barjatya in the Big Boss House. It's a fun take and means no offence to anyone.

It's better to sleep over books than watching Big Boss this season with contestants like Mandana, Prince and Rochelle giving heart attack to everyone. As if Rimi Sen was not enough for the world to run away from her. Super host Salman Khan is scratching his head wondering how to pep up the show with a new wild card entry.
Scratching his grey..oops matters makes some music twinkle at the back of his head. Salman is trying to recall where he heard the song that he is hating now. He hopped on his feet and starting humming. 'Prem Ratan Dhan Payo.' He smiled and started speaking to himself, so what it's crap..this Prem Ratan  many hated. At least, I got Dhan It's pay back time on Big Boss. Holy crap! The guy gave me a break on the screen and I gonna return the favor on Big Boss. Sooraj Barjatya will be the star attraction and wild card entry. Let him irritate them to no end with his bull shit 90s philosophy of Parivaar, conspiracy and be a loving man hell bent to destroy romance, intimacy, cuss words and shouting on the show. Sooraj will increase the TRP.
Let the music play. The contestants woke up to a medley of songs, Prem Ratan Dhan Payo, Hum Saath Saath Hai and Wah wah Ramji, in the morning. A shadow emerged with a big tilak on the forehead, rimmed spectacles and dressed in dhoti, singing a bhajaan. It's Sooraj Barjatya, the new wild card entry.
The fight started in no time after BB contestants touched Sooraj's feet and take his darshan for some dhan to win the show. After all, Prem Ratan Dhan Payo minted crores. Rochelle and Mandana tore into each other's hair after doing the belly dancing, almost dropped everything to seduce the men who ignored them, more interested to get a role in Sooraj next. So what, they will do the usual bull shit in becoming saintly men and playing upright patriarch, going high on traditional family values a la Sanskari Babu, Alok Nath. The race is on: Sanskari Babu has been caught in an uncompromising position with a bimbo-cum-starlet in a car. BB contestants are leaving no stone untouched to become Sankari and pure desi ghee.
The show's TRP is boosted every week, taking India by storm listening to the two piece gyaan by Sooraj on how to keep the family together. BB is a united family based on our cultural values, he says. Contestants have stopped fighting and are often seen sitting in satsang. It has become the new Parivaar show, lighting agarbatti every hour. The audience is glued to their screen watching Sooraj wisdom, "BB has become a big united family where there is no room for jealousy but only devotion. Everyone is a couple but without lust where the women touches the men feet, addressing them as Swami," the spiritual film maker reflects.
Sooraj is planning to make a sequel to Prem Ratan Dhan Payo meeting Vivaah inside the Big Boss House with all the contestants. There is no room for lust or intimacy but only pure love with everyone wearing traditional clothes and dressed from top to toe. Sooraj says every man attracted to a woman in the show must be like brothers and sisters. He told Salman Khan that the show will no longer be called double trouble and he has already composed 40 songs, that will be shot every 20 minutes. The film maker is on  to beat Bahubaali with the film being 9 hours long. There will be Kapalbhati and whenever someone is getting into fighting mode, he or she will be met with silence, a bit like him in real life. Mandana will play the damsel in distress, shouting 'Naahin!! Naahin! Heard Rimi will make her comeback in a special appearance playing the vamp who just refuse to do anything but sitting like a statue.
There will only be devotional talks in BB, spreading love, devotion and prayers on how rich our Sanskaar is. As a rule, contestants are wearing lungis, super expensive saris and over the top make up and jewelery. No non veg food is allowed inside the house but only Bhojan cooked inside by the contestants.
Our Prem is fearing of losing his dhan now since he cannot give it back to the contestants during the weekend. He is already invoking the Gods on why he roped in Sooraj Bharjatya inside the house and regrets of doing Prem Ratan Dhan Payo. His bad boy turned tough task master image is taking a beating. Salman Khan wants to whip Sooraj and contestants-turned-devotees, on the ass.
The music started playing inside the House, getting louder and louder blaring into Sooraj's ears. He almost fainted, seeing Kim Kardshian making a grand entry, wearing nothing on her. She winks at Sooraj. He could only get the time to pack few of the belongings and stormed out of the house, murmuring, "Tauba! Tauba! So dirty! All my efforts to make Parivaar films has gone to waste. And, my Prem! He dared doing that to me. I need to purify my eyes and will take a dip into Ganga."

Host Salman Khan is sitting and laughing like a child, proud that he has been able to restore BB sanctity and purity from the devil eyes of Sooraj Barjatya. Once a virgin, dies a virgin, he naughtily whispers. No more Prem for me, only Dhan.