Is being in love enough in this age of complex relationship which is increasing coming under duress? R for Relationships has many feathers to its cap: fling, one night stand, on and off button, obsession for one another and committed. The kind of love flaunted in the universe of Facebook and selfie makes one wonder on what makes love rosy. Or, are we seeing things with tinted glasses!
The way we look at love and relationship has changed among the teens and new generation with smart phones and gadget applications. For teenagers, it's a shift in mores and the world is undergoing a crisis of sort with the altering of equation. Quick sex sounds like grabbing a burger for those as young as 14 in college who doesn't shy away from getting intimate with multiple partners. The India Today sex survey findings is revealing when it shows how there is no distinct between cities and small cities, where the young do not shy away in telling that they browse porn and do it with class mates. The risk of pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases is always present. It's a worrying trend. At the risk of sounding preachy, I can't stop myself to ask whether they will grow up in an increasingly insecure environment, plagued by emotional vulnerability.
Has city life and globalization made us vulnerable when we look at relationships where we are reeling under stress? We are a young generation of seekers, we look for love and if it doesn't work out the way we expect things to, we turn into emotional wreck. There are many hazards such as depression and lack of balance that often gives us a wrong perspective about things in store. The interesting part is that our expectations are not lowered when a relationship is not working but to the contrary, we constantly look out for that person who will offer us balance.
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It's a change in social mores in an age where we becoming increasingly busy with work and we hardly have time to give to someone. I feel a relationship with no commitment string works out for us and after all, we are human beings who need a shoulder to lean on. There are many who abhor the changing face of love and relationship but the fact is that one needs to adapt to the complexity of life. How do we do that? We stop believing in the thing called romance or love by sitting like a spurned lover. This facet of being a sore loser doesn't find resonance in today's world.
I ain't pretending that we should embrace everything which is modern but the main argument is that we should avoid the pitfall of morality and judge people according to some societal yardstick. Rather, we need to mull on how to treat our relationships, in particular, one that has no future. Expectations from a relationship is something that must be dealt with in a very sensitive manner and knowing that it may not have a long leash of life, we shouldn't make it a priority over other stuffs such as friends, family or personal space.
Sometimes, we are ill equipped to deal with break ups even if it's a platonic relationship. Partners need this space and emotional disconnect to take care of themselves, which is often neglected. I have a great belief in 'Me time' where we can do activities such as yoga, treating self with shopping, spa and travel. It's very important to see the world and being a great believer in solo travel since it affords one the luxury to be with the self. One shouldn't make relationship the whole of one's life. It is part of our existence but not everything.
Why the rush to jump into back-to-back relationships post a break up? Me think that it's the habit of having someone by our side and we tend to get insecure at times with stress building up in our lives and the crack that we suffer from. We need to take thing slowly and breath easy. Rushing into relationships will not solve half of our problems and just because the whole world is getting on with a partner, that doesn't mean it will work for us. If love is destined to happen, it will and never be shy or stay away from it.