Friends Forever Zone

We are in an unrestricted Zone. It seeks no moral policing stickers in the cordoned area, 'Friends not allowed.' It's our Friends Forever Zone as growing teens sashaying into adults and college-goers dudes and babes.

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It's our space where we do things our way, needing no Gyan on what and what's not to do. After all, we are the rebellious types who knows the A to Z of things where the days of sting bees are looming in the past. We need no society approval on who is best or worst for us. Friends are, after all, our moral support system and a shoulder to lean on when we live alone in an apartment or hostel in the city. It's a simple rule: Be cool and chilled out. If the drift or vibes are on, we are in! In an age where relationships' balance keep changing at every kiss or fuck, you know right the Friends in Benefit types for casual sex, true buddies are the ones that make us balanced and functional. 

1. 4 a.m Friend

Yes! The 4 a.m Friend. We all need one or a spate of them that makes us rollick in laughter, bitch about Maggie's double dating, the time that chick you are pursuing leaves her flat or comes back, the handsome dude with the killer look and boring teachers. It's friends offering quick-fix-solutions when the dude or babe you were madly into ditched you in the lurch, fuck-up with parents, or you were planning to get laid last night and it went awry when nosy neighbors or family got into the loop, threatening to tell your parents about it. The 4 a.m friend/s is/are not just about bitching or quick fix but are always there at 4 a.m and beyond when you piss them off their bed. They love you to death and more than eager to listen to your rant, make you hang on when you nearing a mental wreck. In plain terms, they will listen to you patiently without judging and may take their bike to land in front of your day to hug you. 

2. Use Friendship/Facebook types

You meet them everywhere and not just on campus but the only katta beyond your college circle, Facebook. You hear from them either on your birthday, scribbling how cool you are and the best buds in town. Once, someone said in class during a lecture, 'Friendship is time pass.' It falls under this type of use friendship where you don't ink a statement in your heart and you know that the next day, everything will fizzle where all of you will flit in different groups. This friendship is all about giving company when bored to death and sharing a good laugh over coffee is quite an option or just saves the day when the only option is to go for a movie solo. It comes handy when you wanna get introduced to that hot chick.

3. Gyaan giver

Now, this one doesn't make a fuck of a difference in your life but is forever ready to enter the universe to give you gyaan on what you wearing, why you dating X or Y or the choice of clothes are morally twisted. The dude or bad is screwed in the head and takes immense pleasure to tell what's right or wrong with you and why you shouldn't get high on weed, casually date or party till late night. Such friends' life revolves around moral or religious crap for they never had the ball to rebel against their parents who control their existence. So, they wanna you be like them or act like parents. Chuck them out for they are not just trouble but negativity who are never shy in pissing you off.

4. Daaru 'Chaddi' Buddy

Every Saturday, the friend ping with 'Daaru Peena...Let's get drunk' and you know where to find them. You meet them on the streets and you head straight to the adda, doing a topsy turvy act of hugging each other on the busy road and staying away till 2 a.m, Such friends give you company in doing your silly antics inside the house, shouting loud and breaking the laws. They are so much fun to be with and make your college days memorable by singing and acting loud enough to wake up neighbors in the middle of the night.

5. Wanna get hooked

It's your deal or Fuck buddy type. You chill together and get the vibes as gen x dude and babe type who knows that tomorrow you will share a cuppa coffee and hug after the act.  Why look elsewhere for a fling or one night stand when someone you know surrounds you? The only hitch is when sexting translating into the act attracts emotional spark, luv shuv and doing it at your own risk. The whole equation piles on regret and goes for a toss. Kiss and don't tell!

6. Yeh Dosti hum nahin todenge

This type of friendship is the one what defines you and will continue to do so over the years. You've been through thick times and thin times where you've been shouting at for screwing up for they know you inside-out. They are your inner strength and will do anything for you, put you on the right track when diverting from life. Loyal to the core, fighting and laughing together, they are your world. You are never an option for them. It swings both ways. Always stick with them and be there through thick and thin. That's what friendship is all about. True friends stay together for life. It's the siblings we never had.

Friends Forever

V

Shift in relationship and US

Is being in love enough in this age of complex relationship which is increasing coming under duress? R for Relationships has many feathers to its cap: fling, one night stand, on and off button, obsession for one another and committed. The kind of love flaunted in the universe of Facebook and selfie makes one wonder on what makes love rosy. Or, are we seeing things with tinted glasses!

The way we look at love and relationship has changed among the teens and new generation with smart phones and gadget applications. For teenagers, it's a shift in mores and the world is undergoing a crisis of sort with the altering of equation. Quick sex sounds like grabbing a burger for those as young as 14 in college who doesn't shy away from getting intimate with multiple partners. The India Today sex survey findings is revealing when it shows how there is no distinct between cities and small cities, where the young do not shy away in telling that they browse porn and do it with class mates. The risk of pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases is always present. It's a worrying trend. At the risk of sounding preachy, I can't stop myself to ask whether they will grow up in an increasingly insecure environment, plagued by emotional vulnerability. 

Has city life and globalization made us vulnerable when we look at relationships where we are reeling under stress? We are a young generation of seekers, we look for love and if it doesn't work out the way we expect things to, we turn into emotional wreck. There are many hazards such as depression and lack of balance that often gives us a wrong perspective about things in store. The interesting part is that our expectations are not lowered when a relationship is not working but to the contrary, we constantly look out for that person who will offer us balance.

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It's a change in social mores in an age where we becoming increasingly busy with work and we hardly have time to give to someone. I feel a relationship with no commitment string works out for us and after all, we are human beings who need a shoulder to lean on. There are many who abhor the changing face of love and relationship but the fact is that one needs to adapt to the complexity of life. How do we do that? We stop believing in the thing called romance or love by sitting like a spurned lover. This facet of being a sore loser doesn't find resonance in today's world.

I ain't pretending that we should embrace everything which is modern but the main argument is that we should avoid the pitfall of morality and judge people according to some societal yardstick. Rather, we need to mull on how to treat our relationships, in particular, one that has no future. Expectations from a relationship is something that must be dealt with in a very sensitive manner and knowing that it may not have a long leash of life, we shouldn't make it a priority over other stuffs such as friends, family or personal space. 

Sometimes, we are ill equipped to deal with break ups even if it's a platonic relationship. Partners need this space and emotional disconnect to take care of themselves, which is often neglected. I have a great belief in 'Me time' where we can do activities such as yoga, treating self with shopping, spa and travel. It's very important to see the world and being a great believer in solo travel since it affords one the luxury to be with the self. One shouldn't make relationship the whole of one's life. It is part of our existence but not everything.

Why the rush to jump into back-to-back relationships post a break up? Me think that it's the habit of having someone by our side and we tend to get insecure at times with stress building up in our lives and the crack that we suffer from. We need to take thing slowly and breath easy. Rushing into relationships will not solve half of our problems and just because the whole world is getting on with a partner, that doesn't mean it will work for us. If love is destined to happen, it will and never be shy or stay away from it.

Forbidden fruit-ur place or mine for a harmless fling

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Word of caution:
Have a faint,dogmatic moralist heart,refrain from reading it. Should you choose to do it,at your own perils.Cheers:)
A tale of smitten odalisques,Adamesque in pursuit of the forbidden fruit,behind the white sheet of the bed. Tomorrow,they shall not text each other for a coffee date.Adam poke,Eve poke back. It's no longer shameful,the one night stand. 
We live in a world where films have changed the equation in our life. Life is busy and ain't no time for a relationship coupled with the commitment angle. It's costly in terms of time,stress and expensive dinner and getways. We'll live to favour a night of shameless pleasure, a harmless fling coupled with both parties experiencing win-win. No one ending up losing in terms of emotional hurt,ill feelings and self harm inflicted.
Gone are the days when we would watch TV and a kissing scene appearing in a Hollywood flick would make us unease or our elders would chid us if we speak bout sex with siblings. The time..ah!The hell of time when sex was made sin or evil by the sanctity of moral guadians yelling on the roof,terming it as religious bigotry or non-conforming to social laws and mores. We have the power of condoms now.Remember, the taste of the forbidden fruit is sweeter and holier that we could have imagined.
It brings me to the real story. Yes,I am speaking about one night stand,casual sex and fling. Lemme get it straight. Outlook sex survey appeared on January 24 and columns by authors of the likes Meeankshi Reddy-Madhavan,Tishani Doshi,Hari Menon, Jerry Pinto and Nilanjana Roy propelled me to have my own column. Though denied on Outlook,I have blogspot and am the new kid on the block. New Kid says he's all game for a harmless fling. Historically, fling has always existed and since the times of Mahabharatha and in Islamic societies,interalia,Christian history. Indeed, it is not something novel or else we are not shaking the foundation of society. Picture it:You are single and you meet an attractive lady in a bar.You offer her a drink and the possibility of spending a night together as one of you pops up, your place or mine. It transcend the Mills N Boons culture. Sex has always and ever existed between mates,vanilla sex or strawberry flavoured condom,red sexy lips if it ever stand as an ode to love,sex and Dhoka.
Another tale of abrely chested male,females caucasian or Lolita-esque version of new redefined and refined lust sex.Boys and girls have moved beyond the masturbation part. Bluntly put:Sex is an energy as we were put in the world to breath fresh air,consume water in the stiff heat,our aderaline rushes.The mating game been started by animals and humans alike and make no mistake we are social animals and as dogs shameless search for pleasure beyond the moral crass so are we.Mating,indulging in physical pleasure is only but a natural process of the human brain,physical longing.
Till there are humans there shall be desires. Longing for the forbidden fruits,lusting on males and females bodies.Any takers?Many do it on social networking sites such as Hi 5,Orkut,Facebook and many more mushrooming in the web world.Nopes,I am not referring to those despo whose status claim,services for satisfaction..they are in for cheap thrills,your regualr dude or chick,you poke,I poke..you know the story by now.
Have a great,harmless fling with no strings attached..Mr Right or Miss Right is just round the corner..what is right or wrong is relative..dat my quote for the day.
Love