We once made love

Don't make pouting face,
Baby, I don't love you!
Not your fault,
unbridled sensuality,
killer eyes,
wreathing a sword in my heart,
the complete woman,
I am but a nomad,
cannot be confined to one place,
conquering hearts,
set us free,
unfettered by bonding,
unhold me,
unclip the wings,
forget we once made love,
our soul knows the truth,
indoctrinated by wild theories of ever afters,
quench the fire,
yearning for flesh
bake a new story.

Sloshed on words

Frazzled morning,

Coffee taste lingering on tongue,

not brunch,

just a plain and simple breakfast,

 loud music blazing,

beating sleep hangover,

 I ain’t on dope,

alcohol conjures the trick,

falling for hot women,

winking,

stroking my soul with playfulness,

where is my babe?

We’ll play silly,

dirty talks,

fights,

kissing in the mud,

fuck loads,

Friday high,

sloshed on words.

Why do I write?

Why do I write?

validation,

truth slammed on the face,

selfish words,

curing emotions,

hiding my identity,

searching for the lost soul,

painting myself,

I'm no flower,


scars on the face,

a voice,

running away,

from whom?

breaking free,

expression is my prayer,

composing a tune,

words,

biggest turn on,

sexing up composition,

another illusion,

the incomplete mind without writer,

head with no heart.

Rain is my lover

Carry me on your couch,

Oh! rain!

you are made of steam,

flashing darkness,

a lover,

ain't letting me free,

doused in this fire,

i'd prefer a hot shower,

never ceasing to follow me,

be a lover instead,

drizzling like madness,

stop making me melancholic,

stalker,

hiding the cloud,

you want passion,

can't love be firm and gentle?

your tears,

my sorrow,

winking at me,

silly mood,

showers of love, affection and chime of celebration unabated,

can't stop your expression,

like the eternal shadow.

Flash fiction: The Temptress

Anjali smacked him on the lip. Rohan was caught off guard, squatting on the mattress strewn on the floor and coaxed her to play monopoly. His constant pleading, blackmail and pulling her hair in various directions irked her. The smooch was forceful and her legs intentionally hit the monopoly board hard.

“What the fuck,” he protested.

“You need a fuck,” she sniggered. “Oh, monopoly is more important than us,” she faked it.

“Babe! It’s about us and not this game,” he tried to cajole.

She turned her face away and smiling with a bang fist in triumph.  

Rohan folded the monopoly board and dug it inside the box. He feared that his lady love was brewing something in her head.

Anjali licked his toe, pressed her perfect finger on his skin and smiled seductively.  He felt an electric gush wave running like steam in his body and tried to resist but the sensation incapacitated him. Rohan held her shoulder, caressing her skin and unbuttoned her bra. He squelched. She gravitated closer and pushed him forcefully to the wall, licking his chest, tongue lashing up and down. Hairy chest went moist. He slouched and let her drive him. He loosened up. She explored his upper body and pressed him with brutal force.

Rohan yawled in pain. A pair of tooth bit the zone between the hairy chest and the belly, pulling off the pad. He wouldn’t let her pull it off. Anjali strummed naked and threw it inside the bin. She winked at him.

“Baby! The starter has been served and dessert tonight,” Anjali said.

Ripened fruit of lust

She told me,

not her age,

to devour the ripened fruit,

I tell her,

fruits are plucked in the garden,

passion and lust,

rotten fruit loses freshness,

a beautiful mind needs a kick,

no excuse is good enough,

suck the juice of life,

be healthy,

quench the sensual thirst,

lick before it melts.

Fiction: A call from heaven

Tring! Tring! Tring! The phone rang interruptedly and the voice screeched through the deserted room as the shade of the dappled sun flashed inside.  The house overlooked the sprawling view of a huge jamoon tree splayed outside in the forest,  inhabited by grasses and stray dog slouching on the green grass.   

The plopping water sound was lullaby to the dog’s ear. It slept like a baby on a sunny afternoon. Wagging its tail happily, the animal trotted inside the house with easy demeanor and fearlessly stared at this quirky and fascinating object, the old wooden and steel phone belonging to relic times.  

A loud siren jostled the dog out of its reverie and the tiny legs leaped and forayed foray inside the house. The globular eyes and neck perched at the sight of the phone blowing a familiar tune. The claws pressed on the wooden handle and wondered on the empty house as the creature sidled in a circular position. Days, weeks and months flitted, the pet was convinced that a heavenly voice calls her every day. She longed for this stranger friend.  

The phone call suddenly stopped one day. Sunshine went off the pet’s life spending an entire afternoon squatted on the floor inside the room and waiting for the phone to speak. She barked ferociously at it and tired of waiting, scratched her face with the claws. Shade of sadness and moist eyes surfaced and a pall of gloom crept.

Birds cooed in the morning. Pigeons flocked. Jamoon’s tree stood tall and leaves fluttered. Water flew gently in the well. The spot under the tree’s shade missed its favorite visitor, the dog prancing and jumping to disturb every known species inhabiting the forest, the foliage, grass, trees, flower plants, and birds chased in the wild. The forest has gone silent and strange sense of silence entered its soul. The night felt spooky.

A year has passed. The foliage moved on its own and a well-fed dog raced ahead in the forest and the tree branches suddenly sprang to life seeing a collar on its neck, foraying to explore every nook and corner, the root, flower and dense foliage. Pigeons and birds flapped their wings happily to see their old friend back. The dog flung her belly suddenly gaining weight and entered the familiar room to peek at the phone. It remained intact with the wooden handle sitting on the rusted steel.

If only both could converse in their language.  The dog didn’t bulge for a second. Heavy shower started pouring and the phone rang in a loud volume like an old friend waving and calling its friend to play together in the wild.

Breaking away from Emotions

Human emotion is defined as carrying multiple factors such as physiological arousal, expressive behavior and conscious experience. The various reactions to sensations be it, fingers accidentally burnt by the stove, feeling of love, intimacy or sex, pain, heartbreak, tears and first instinct of getting angry if we were deprived of dinner whittles down to our emotions as human beings.

What if we could break free from our emotions affecting the brain and pushing us to behave in a more logical way than the other? Being emotionless would imply not responding to any known thing and to guard the self against pain or happiness. Highly unlikely since emotions offer us stability and the ability to love in better ways as humans for we certainly don’t want to become robots or vultures in human form, destroying lives. I am intrigued on bringing a possible disconnect between the emotions and the brain. Perhaps, we wouldn’t feel any pain or hurt.

The various emotional depths are explored by the James Lange Theory of emotions explaining that an external stimulus leads to a physiological reaction, triggering emotions. The fear that rages inside us of falling ill some day or being hit by a car and not finding love after being rejected zillion times makes us insecure. How many times have we heard a friend telling, ‘I don’t feel anything for him or her’? A tale of being emptying the emotional cup after going through upheavals and being filled to the brink that there is no feeling left inside us for that ‘special person.’

I often wonder about the possibility of tired souls undergoing healing after being drained emotionally and being asked to empty everything like this glass of water to experience something fresh inside to chuck out the accumulated garbage inside. Is there something called good emotion or bad emotions, good break up or bad break up and good love or bad love?

The social conditioning or behavioral compass triggers us to react in one way when a pesky relative would call out of the blue and propelling us to act in a cold manner. What if the person offers us something that we love having, in that case, Alphonso mangoes? I bet, it will alter our reaction and makes us wonder what pulls our emotional trigger inside the brain. Such altering behaviour can be quite effective on reactions and how destroying misplaced ego can help us save many relationships, stay calm and can work pretty well to diffuse unnecessary conflicts that acts detrimental to both our mental and emotional health.

It culminates into the last point, the Cannon-Bard theory of emotion enumerated on the experience of physiological reactions and emotionally linked without zilch feeling.  For instance, one may feel pain owing to bad food consumed the last night rather than anger. This addresses the main argument on disconnecting the self from emotions where the theory weighs on emotional responses occurring in a fast manner for us that it becomes tricky to deduce whether they are products of physical exertion or the fear in front of lurking danger appearing in the place of a tingle sensation to run away as the immediate reaction.

Often, a matter of cause-and-effect, emotions are interlinked to the flesh or how disconnected we become with our inner state of being which is increasingly complex to assess. There may not be a clear-cut assessment in separating ourselves from emotions which is a near impossible thing but can happen over fleeting seconds. No, we cannot dissociate emotions but in a moment, a pain may trickle over rather than emotions. There was a time when it was hard to imagine living without this girl but now, her mere sight doesn’t arouse anything in you because sensation and emotions are quite flexible in adapting itself to your new environment.

A lost tune!

Who borrowed my tune?

 knotting the strings,

burnt fingers,

one chilly night after passionate sex,

I picked the guitar,

licked cocaine,

hallucinating,

it can’t be rock,

punk,

throwing snowballs,

on frosted homes and deserted streets,

swirling down the road,

imagined jeering crowd,

I became a madman,

sold the drums,

begged in trains,

stole a Halloween shaped pumpkin,

singing in hotels,

shady bars,

for unfortunate kids,

danced naked for call girls in exchange for sex,

stealing pack of condoms,

sitting in dark cells,

Ain’t a free meal sunny boy,

I’ve been robbed,

sold my soul!

A staged secret of love and longing

Telling you love me,
when wanna break apart,
secret blown and torn into pieces,
a dangerous game of love,
treachery,
i shall play along,
pretend to be enamored,
by your sensitive heart,
don't blame me,
this love is staged,
faking heart break and pain,
the flashy smile,
what do I make of it?
a tune gone horribly wrong!
your treachery,
my song. 

Cherry blossoms and mystic season

Cherry blossoms,

seeping in the mystic season,

aura of colorful hues,

branches stripped,

of bland emotions,

smile jutted out of the bud,

fresh morning dew,

flapped wings,

birds swaying to the tune,

picking grains,

in quest of freedom,

dancing flowers,

kissing visitors on the beak,

of the wind’s chime,

untold stories,

nestled in the dense foliage,

undisturbed by human chaos.

Romance in the times of Whatsapp!

There is something very personal and intimate about Whatsapp going beyond the entire extended family of groups and forwards. The dating scene has moved beyond the microcosm of SMS-relegated to the relic past, Facebook-I find chatting there passé and fake like grown-ups jailed. Gchat-Get a reality check, done it, enjoyed it. Can we move on please?  

Tender is the mother of dating app and not yet there, although ain’t denying that mobile apps can make a mid 30s dude like me stuck in a millennial body to be super cool.

Honestly, I dunno how stuff like Tinder, Cupid Ok and another one suggested by a friend to be back on the dating scene work. It leaves us with a down-to-earth and practical option, Whatsapp. Quite a comfort zone chatting with plain strangers or prospective love interests at a slow pace, singularly swiping left and right. Quick tip: Block the person acting like a prick or you are bored to death. Still better, bombard them with tons of silly WhatsApp forwards. 

Getting the phone number and adding a love interest is no Da Vinci Code to crack and showing a slightly unusual interest in the rightish, charming way is the sure way to land yourself on her Whatsapp. Pure passion to play the game of dating and hooking up in today’s age of smartphone.

 Hooking up, romance and ultimately finding love can land you in the unlikeliest place chatting your way to heavenly bliss. Flirting shamelessly, discovering each other before the big coffee date is the golden rule. Of course, there is always the risk of not liking each and kindly move on to the next person. Remember the classic SMS romance. Got news for it has shifted to Whatsapp having its own charm, blending privacy, innocent game and naughtier smileys or jokes, far away from the gaze of the pesky aunty who hasn’t spared us on Facebook. Unlike SMS, no charge applied for mushy midnight calls with wifi and high five love adding cherry on cake.

 It doesn’t take long to feel the vibe with someone after long hours, day and night of chatting what with making the mind to hit it off. You can easily make up whether your ‘love interest’ is into you, clingy or an asshole. The personality comes alive and easy to skin out the layer behind the phone number. Whatsapp leaves very little to the imagination and human flaws exploding.  A tale of sleeping with the enemy...err not literally!

The digital romance has one merit that it bares everything open for all to see, the emotion, brazen honesty and even countless forwards is a very good excuse to strike a conversation. Tinder fades and doesn’t stand chance in the face of mighty WhatsApp.

What’s up in the universe of Whatsapp whittling down to sharing of emotions, a day gone horribly wrong, excitement makes it an enthralling affair for you just don’t share your life but a world with the person at the other end.

We are humans. A phone interface not just protect us from underlying emotional fear but sparks up the confidence in speaking freely, something that we wouldn’t do on the first meeting. It works well for introvert singles like me to break the ice, find an empathetic voice and mastering the art of listening. I like taking dating slowly and not rush into things. . The world of WhatsApp works pretty well for me and absolutely love voice recording to help make up the mind as sweetness travels through the ear.

The odds of finding romance and lust on WhatsApp are high and unlike throwing the dice, easy to move on without explaining things when it doesn’t click. A practical exit of sort. The ground is quite set in getting to know someone well before meeting in flesh and the ice is broken minus awkwardness.

Looking for a harmless fling without paying the subscription fee that could well be saved for the coffee date, explore this channel and it's as good as the old world charm of SMS in the modern times. One shouldn't shy away from the romance technology, particularly if you are looking to be back on the dating scene in meeting a couple of prospective dates to drop a What’s Up! You can always take a call after a few chat messages. Swipe, left, right and center!

Do you treat yourself from time-to-time?

Ever heard of loving yourself first?! It’s good to be selfish and indulge from time-to-time in love, pastry treat, shopping spree for jeans, shoes and goodies. A tale of being your favorite and reigning on top of the world. I do it quite a few times to beat the blue and feeling good about myself.

The prized Scotch bottle which I’ve been eyeing for quite some time, the super expensive denim or the I-phone-yeah, I got it last year on EMI and not a shred of regret about it and the travel longing for quite some time. Hopefully, I shall sit on the plane early next and zoom ahead in the sky. Fuck all logic! Yes, heard that right. We tend to weigh everything in a balance statement of profit and loss making us more miserable by the day. Once a year, just save and blow your money on the things you’ve been longing. It can be anything, just go and get it!

 Sprinkle yourself with some love for you work hard throughout the entire year, facing moments of pessimism and tread downhill or in the eye of the storm.  Hard fact: You deserve all the amazing things of life if not in bundle but installments.

 Don’t make too much bone about splashing for you can never know where the money may disappear, the doctor or clinic, clearing out unexpected debt and the dentist trip. I am not advocating to draining your savings or not to keep for rainy days but it pays to make you happy as a person. Treating yourself means an extra dose of self-loving and care, going by the whole head logic. Go ahead and write this book. Don’t think too much of how good or bad a writer you are! We are over-thinkers by nature and it often takes up a lifetime, ending up not doing anything.

 I had this conversation with my cousin who saw his Mom and Dad passing away in the 24 months. As we were driving, he told, “You know I have realized that all these years, I lost on so many things I used to enjoy.” Trust me, it’s so me and the moment it hits on the head,  a shred of anxiety takes control of my mind and body.  The real FoMo is not about social media but losing on life itself.

Take risks, get out of the head or home and go on a trekking adventure, learn a musical instrument or foreign language are some of the things I always wanted to do in full swing and confidence.

 Jet set, get set in loving yourself passionately. Don’t think too much about this whole money sacrifice for a bigger house or expensive car for tomorrow is uncertain. Live in the now and make do with the small car. Live the dream now and make it happen. It’s not good to see the lusty objects sitting on shelves and not on you. For once, do not think twice, be a go-getter and of course, slog your ass for rainy days as well but tiny bit of self-love could do no harm.

Epithets of untold stories

Dark,

black,

nights,

epithets of untold stories,

flipping pages,

in the unknown,

intense alley,

of desire and passion,

scything like a deadly weapon,

inside the brain,

stories are made and experiences poured,

where shall I borrow the sunshine?

 flowering of buds

brightness resides in words,

moments worth living and telling,

glittering sky and moonlight,

tell me your story?

first love,

gentle kiss,

break up,

pain,

till death accompanies us in this journey!

Hitting base with old friends

You haven’t spoken to each for ages and Facebook notification pops open with friend suggestion what with the dozen common connections. What to do? Click on the profile and see how much they have changed over the years, on a travel spree, married with kids, sporting a fat belly or flat abs.  The friend you would swear upon once in a dusted time may have hardly changed in appearance but your equation certainly has. Quite tricky when both of you have moved in different directions in life. Hit the friend request or not! Probably you would ponder on giving a miss to the add button. Anyway, no harm in adding the person and give them time in reverting to you.  Put plainly, swallow pride or ego to send a harmless Hi or simply wave.

Now that you are friends, checking the social media pictures or status to gauge whether they’ve turned into Bhakts or sickulars, Modi Bhakt or Raga fan is quite something. Trophy girl friend or wife and Richie Richie husband. Don’t we all do that! A decade may be quite a long time or five years flitting by but nothing on earth hurt in sharing phone numbers to take it on Whatsapp. The latter is quite a medium what with forward messages makes it easy and smooth to trigger conversations or phone calls.

Buzzing a long lost friend for few minutes’ conversations can break the ice, first with formalities on what you’ve been up to kinda chat and the trick lies in not keeping the conversation too long. That way both of you are able to nurture the mental and real space of connecting with each other. I personally believe long conversation can be a drag, particularly when speaking to someone after a span of time and the uneasiness creeps for you don’t know what to tell.

Do not hesitate to send a personalized message on birthdays and birth of babies or give a short but sweet call.  There are special occasions serving the right purpose not only to hit it off but also reaching out. It goes a long way and time is a magic weaver.

At times, too much water has fallen under the bridge and pretending each other’s doesn’t exist in remembering an old age tiff. We all have our stories of friendship turned sour. I have mine. After some time, a short phone call came out of the blue and random conversation on Facebook about almost everything. Done deal! Yes! Since there is always a possibility of old chums not wanting to be in touch, wish them well, keep the good memories in the heart and march ahead.

Death trumped

Whisked away by time,

heart stop,

heartbeat,

Knock, knock,

death,

unquenched love,

I plead!

wicked smile,

tears,

brain incapacitated,

stench of alcohol,

cigarette butt,

wait!

I will puff the last one,

smoking injurious to health,

fearful face laugh sadistically,

I protest,

but!

you cannot take me away,

didn’t explore everything,

adventure,

sex,

Telling everyone i love them freely,

waving bye and hugging,

Loved ones,

over memories made,

our fights,

apology to mom and dad for being mean,

telling I love them dearly,

vile creature give me the blithe,

I rasp,

don’t you dare, it says,

I am death and come uninvited,

fuck love and the crap,

you had all the time,

not my fault you didn’t have fun!

you wait...I am coming!

Even the mightiest is fallible,

I conjure a trick,

plotting against the mightiest,

my end waits forever,

I trump death,

left reeling and staring blank at me!

Indian Diwali, sweets and flickering happiness

Spread in shades and hues,

garlanded flowers,

intricately woven Rangoli,

celebrating spirit of Oneness,

colorful and richly adorned milk,

devotion in concocting sweets,

festival of love,

splendor,

spread on silver tray,

varied forms,

expression of love,

a dash of sweetness,

Diwali,

of light, bonding and purity of hearts,

a filling of hope,

candles and flames,

traditional Indian attire,

white,

symbol of purity,


beatitude,

sheen of beauty,

nostalgia of bonding,

homely feeling,

diyas splayed on the street,

wicks,

Maa's recipe,

not lost in modernity of sharing chocolate boxes,

nothing beats the old charm of an Indian traditional Diwali,

smeared with unique sweets,

barfi,

ladoo,

Peda,

Gulab Jamun,


innocent faces of children,

flickering happiness,


Happy Diwali

Love
V

Is WhatsApp or social media defining new age relatonships?

Online space is defining and reinventing the way we love, connect on a deeper level and giving an altogether different meaning to friendships. As cliché as it may sound, Hare ek friend zaroori hota hai! A date could be set on Facebook or to a lesser extent on Twitter but have you thought about meeting on WhatsApp! I feel it’s safer to connect on phone. 

Nothing new about it. Of course, during the older days-I already feel like a monument-we flirted through SMS what with the Extra talk time package or free messaging-getting to know each other or meeting up. Love in the time of WhatsApp is the real deal. I’d still go for a relation carrying no burden or guilt.

Friendships carved without meeting someone face-to-face and the blogging connection cemented our bonds, taking it further on WhatsApp. A random encounter with a girl on Facebook and we added each other on WhatsApp, with harmless flirting, calls and voice recording. Yet, nothing happened for we realized we had nothing in common after some point. The fact that we are based in different countries didn’t really help us and we called it quits.

The WhatsApp romance is quite tricky and complex, making me wonder whether we can take things ahead. Quite a tough nut to crack and though, there is no denying the fact, people actually dated through this blind encounter. I just made a new friend on Whatsapp. Don’t get colorful ideas. It’s just platonic friendship and sharing things with each other for there is no scope for something serious. She has her life and I have my mine. Friendship and romance are two different coins, pretty much like western and central railways that never converge. We can make awesome friends that bear no place for a relationship. It’s about being each other’s support system and always good to connect with souls having similar interests, unlike the classic Facebook tagline.

We need friends or people to nurture an emotional quotient. One good thing about social media friendship and growing closeness with no strings attached-I don’t mean it in an intimate way-is that it brings us back to the distant past of college friends and creating memories, to add happiness and spice to break away from the monotony of a stressful life.

The countless forwards, funny memes and videos shared with hundreds of connections seem mechanic at times. Some like it. The rest will just ignore them. A fleeting chance that one of your connections will take the opportunity to strike a conversion and bang, this moment dawned that you can really connect and have so much to share beyond repetitive images. A chance encounter to take things ahead may be meeting for coffee or movie date. Classic tale, right.

Romance or plain friendships, Whatsapp is reinventing the way we see our relationships with folks or getting to know new people. Granted, social media has killed old age friendship or romance of meeting someone in a public space but getting to know each other through the smartphone is a deal. Quite an open question on how the digital world is altering our equations.  Can it lead to a stronger bond or something substantial remains a big interrogation mark?