A lost tune!

Who borrowed my tune?

 knotting the strings,

burnt fingers,

one chilly night after passionate sex,

I picked the guitar,

licked cocaine,

hallucinating,

it can’t be rock,

punk,

throwing snowballs,

on frosted homes and deserted streets,

swirling down the road,

imagined jeering crowd,

I became a madman,

sold the drums,

begged in trains,

stole a Halloween shaped pumpkin,

singing in hotels,

shady bars,

for unfortunate kids,

danced naked for call girls in exchange for sex,

stealing pack of condoms,

sitting in dark cells,

Ain’t a free meal sunny boy,

I’ve been robbed,

sold my soul!

Happy marriage, unhappy you and Fat family

Picture is for representational purpose only. Source: https://www.parekhcards.com

Threat and ultimatum of marriage resemble a time bomb and is worse for girls past the mid-20s. For men like me in the mid-30s-the age is a deep dark secret- we are not spared by the bua, phuppa, pesky uncle ji and aunty ji, nana, dadi and even younger folks doling gyaan on marriage as if it gives them an erection.

Why do people marry? For love, companionship and fulfilling parents’ will or the innate fear of being alone. Another bigger reason and biggest truth brushed under the carpet, for sex when there is insecurity of not getting any. Yes! Trust me, people marry for sex and a crude way of putting it, getting their fair share of banging.

The pet peeves I personally come across are uber-conservative folks hinting on happiness being irrelevant to fulfilling sacred obligations for parents.  I shall skip this bit about marrying for parents but one question is if H for happiness is not important, how do we explain the growing rate of divorce, separation or outside affairs? Certainly, the law that criminalized adultery until a few days back didn’t deter people from having sex outside marriage! Think! Think!

Marriage is a choice so is ‘one-night stand’. Of course, the moral issue may linger above the legal scheme of things. One cannot make a choice to be unhappy in life so that our folks become the happiest on earth. I keep getting all kind of gyaan on my impending marriage and the whys of forever delaying being settled as if the former is some nobel prize to procreate. The worst thing is when we think about folks caught in a catch 22 situation in a marriage and choosing to hide behind the entire ‘children’ argument in an effort to mask suffering or the lack of spine to break-away.

Looking at the bigger picture, the entire thing whittles to sexuality and desire versus the ingrained fear of family which prevents individuals from breaking away from the shackle of an unconsummated marriage. Alternately, suppression of emotional and sexual desires never reaches the climax. This holds true for singles, divorcee or married alike.  Are you going to look for happiness in an institution scripted by the world, read parents? Since you played no intrinsic role in its making, what is the guarantee it will become a successful model? Marriage as a club or institution you commit to is no less than a business model. What’s the use of a system lacking passion, half-baked hearts into a venture with no trace of happiness?  

Listen to your heart and be true to the self in chartering the individual path and jump into the bandwagon only if you willing or committed to. Never do anything for anyone else but yourself in finding the space to glow, blossom and grow. The society is made of people like us who created culture, again something not infallible and we cannot be dictated by a group of people on doing on what is good or morally right for us. Choose happiness and being one’s own self against any shit spread by society or so-called culture.

Happy Sunday

Ten personal Quotes

Collection quotes and hoarding newspaper cut out was a favorite thing buried in the past and never thought could be a wordsmith. Feeble inspiration came when I was in a relationship and nursing heartbreak, reading the quotes and collecting them, the first thing to look in newspapers. It's another story that I spun the newspaper quotes in my own reflection and forwarded it on sms that was quite a huge thing in the past now lost in translation. Today, I share ten of my quotes, weaved by the silly mind that didn't look for quote masters or newspaper inspiration and truly original. Hope you will like them.

“You are success. Failure can never rule you. Whip this storm called success to make it your own.”

“I fear not death for it’s an integral part, my shadow lingering and the end shall be the new me, Karmic connection of my being.” 

“Why call it unrequited love to feel you never loved in the first place. Dance and make mad love with rejection and celebrate break up for You are love.” 

“Don’t threaten to slap and avoid me but love your beautiful hand to caress my face with your stamp to book me for life.”  

“Kiss is what I long for, deep and passionate for my soul to dance with envy, swirling like the ice cream.”

“I don’t call it break up but the soul’s liberation eluding my obsessive mind. We live without each other with each other, your senses, the linens scattered on the bed, scent of your lip and jet black hair, the image of your sensual, naked self walking inside the room. The day you stop haunting me, it shall be a break up.”

“Shorn of my clothes, I bear no shame for the soul stand naked in front of everyone to see not my flesh but a beautifully uncensored me.”

“There was a time, there is a time and will be a time when your love loomed larger and disappeared in the distance. Your shadow shone like the glittering moon and faded away in the silent night to wipe my tears, happiness and constant heart beat.”

“I am Truth. I am the cloud. I am the sky. I am God. I am Sex. I am never ashamed neither you should about ME.”  

“Love is intriguing but then ghosts live in the imagination in the heart’s temple.”

Forevers and evergreen in relationships

Relationships, romance and sex may mean several things to the various generations of people.  The vibes minus load matters and holds true for many us, doesn't matter which generation we may belong to. There is a truth to relationships that we are still unwilling coming to terms with, Forever doesn't exist. Unfortunately, many of us have obsessively held on to relationships that injure our health as human beings and face it, there is no permanence in life.

Image credit: Pinterest

 Every relationship bears its own time limit or expiry date. We cannot go against the force of nature and one mistake many people do is giving a name to an unhappy relationship, marriage. Now, I am not saying that all marriage are fuck-ups but often we end up grieving for the rest of our lives in connecting the dots or making things happen. Many people find themselves lonely in marriage and try to find quick-fix solutions like having children to save the day. But, it doesn't happen that way. Unfortunately, we are trying to prove the world wrong that our relationships can sustain and we suffer from illusion, delusion or the lack of realism.

We need a reality check for there is no reason to prove something when it comes to our personal lives. Nobody has the right to tell us what to do or not and how to lead our lives. When it comes to relationships, there should be no accountability as wrongly demanded by society. The worst thing is that as humans, we live a stifled sexual life from a moral standpoint and walk the false moral ground that lust should have no place in the so-called pure existence. The biggest mistake that we again make is not going easy on sex or a one-night stand, expectations shoot up in the sky. The moment expectations or one side love is not returned to us....answer the question honestly!

Love doesn't exist forever and living in a la-la land seems to be an art that we have perfected over time. The moment we do that and which has been internalized for too long makes it the defined reality or the creation of uncalled parameters.  Love is stifled in a match in haven where there is no room for the flower to bloom and closing the door on future partners that thwart us from going in relationships.
One of the things that I admire about millennials is that they are a chilled out generation despite the criticisms, right at times, in the way relations are approached. But, at least the super cool kids approach relationships, be it sex or relationships, in a therapeutic manner. For our generations, expectations have always hurt us when we don't get things right or flowing back to us. I have made that mistake and paid a huge price for that!

Love or relationships are all about reinvented for everything lie in our mindset. I strongly believe that being with someone should remove this shit load of hanging on obsessively to something that doesn't reflect the reality. Screw up this mushy mushy thing or glamor of m for marriage for it's the vibes of being together that matters. Feeling should gel. Don't get into a relationship just for the heck of it. A relationship must be defined by daily bliss and not what tomorrow holds or oft-repeated bored classic argument, where do we stand!

Bloom, stay beautiful and empower each other with moments to be shared, capture them if you may wish but delete it when the memory storage becomes full. Explore and meet new people since forever never exist in relationships but make it an evergreen moment.

Dating and break up saga

 

Relationships are fickle. Some stay with us forever while the rest disappear like the dint of sand soaked in the sea waves. Break ups can tear us apart. In some uniquely fashioned cases or which is rather the norm nowadays, relationships survive for a couple of weeks and months which help us to sail through without going through the emotional trauma. It’s all about the vibes and no heavy duty burden or load. Depression sinks in when we find it tough to thrive and survive without the person who was our swan song or lil whispers cooing in the ears on the phone early morning.

 There is no point hitting the rock bottom of emptying the liquor bottle, crying in the company of mushy emotional songs or nursing wounds for the whole day.  Yes! I now see no point cursing the self about a short relationship going kaput for negative energy sucks to the core. The trick lies in getting up and hitting the latest party in town. Get sloshed if you may and start dating again. The pubs and parties are often a haven for singletons looking to hook up or having a scene. It doesn't matter if you are ending up with someone for a harmless fling or a Tandoori night. It helps to ward off emotional crisis. 

 It makes sense to be in a spree of affairs and I am not advocating two-timing kinda hit and bang but rather treading fearlessly to explore your inner side as a human being. It can be very therapeutic and strengthens the soul which grows in terms of carving out emotional balance in life. 

One of the worst things that can happen in a terrible break up or romance gone sour is that it can sap our emotional confidence and gloat into the growing distrust of human relationships. Avoid entering this pitfall which is detrimental to your growth and no point mulling over what went wrong for the past cannot come back. The most logical thing to do is to look ahead, meet new people, explore and be a wild stallion. Yes! I ain't kidding. 

As humans, we tend to go back too much to a haunting past and wear blinkers where the road ahead is seen as a bumpy road while a smooth sailing reality stares at us. It's a trait in many of us who have experienced heart breaks or hurt. We tend to run away from meeting people or even a hint of being interested from the other person is met with the scorn, often the defence mechanism employed to push people away.

Relationships are not updates or selfies that we need to put on Facebook or Instagram to seek out validations. Nor are heart breaks adultery or the biggest sins committed on earth. High time to take a chill pill and go easy on the self. So what? Screw ups happen in life. About time to stop being so obsessive about this thing called love or till death does us about apart kinda crap. It's the biggest misnomer which turns us into jilted lovers and prevent in exploring real relationships with an open mind.  

Post break up, remind yourself that there is no need to be stuck with this extra baggage and hang out with someone forever for there are relationships that come with an expiry date. It's plain stupid to hang on to someone. Just enjoy the times spent together and move on.

Love

V

Trapped souls

Hushed voices,

imprisoned in a square foot dark cell,

darkness engulfing the mind,

dance of ghosts,

lurking behind,

a shadow buried the haunting past,

destroyed with my own hands,

fear of the unknown,

whispers,

a lone voice,

of sons and daughters,

mothers and fathers,

devils and  monsters,

spiritual gurus and goddesses,

blood and soul,

a liberating echo,

love and sex,

moving beyond the flesh,

the trapped soul,

declutter the mud,

raging the mind and soul,

seek this voice of truth.

With Love
Vishal

Confessions of a wannabe writer

Image source: https://i.pinimg.com/736x/8b/d7/2a/8bd72a5585ac0ee32649c561697cf5aa--writers-notebook-peanuts-gang.jpg

1. Coffee and smoke to fire the imagination wild.

2. Draft stuck and lay untouched for weeks, as if it’s a virginal bride.

3. Running away from writing and the fear of not doing justice due to lame ideas.

4. Speaking to writers' friends on Facebook to pep the self to action.

5. Laziness to flesh ideas before writing.

6. Emotionally attachment to characters and urge to protect them.

7. Not thinking of the book to distance the self.

8. Too much of movies and personal experience hangover blurring the vision of pouring ink.

9. Ideas, Ideas where art thou! You are not hashish.

10. Where is my pot of weed? Gotta smoke up to imagine caterpillars creeping on the wall to chase the block.  Now you know where the crazy ideas come from?  

11. Tearing the paper with ink flowing. It’s not worth scribbling rubbish counting as ideas.

12. My Scotch whisky is over and the spell it cast on me to make characters go bonkers, imagining having sex in a moving car. Nah! Really! The soul tells me I am off and crack.

13. Whining time on FB and writing mindless tweet. Yeah, sometimes it’s called writing...140 characters.

14. Gotta cleanse the mind to the tune of de-cluttering the room filled with useless paper chits, notepad scattered on the table to double as great ideas to save the wanna be writer. Told you, it’s also called writing.

15. Imagining myself to be in a relationship with the hottest woman on earth. Now, who stole my condom? It’s no Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian and our own Sunny Leone. It’s the highway to sketch making out scenes that find expression in a badly drafted manuscript.

16. A shitty first draft and grammar nazi would hound me to death as if I am the long lost brother of Osama Bin Laden makes me reel in fear. Everything started all over again and it’s the same story. I feel like a rejected lover with the dreaded draft being Miss Pricey.

17. Come and break my heart, babe. Make me lose my mind over you to pen this best seller.

18. Why the fuck on earth this shit was sprinkled in the mind that I can be an aspiring writing doing rom-com a la Chetan Bhagat! I asked for it, after all. I could have been a gigolo, instead.

19. The shittiest post that you must be reading on this blog and cursing with mc or bc. Now, wait for my novel to hit the stands and you will troll me for reinventing the wheel for love, passion and break up doesn’t happen this way for me must be related to Rahul Gandhi politics or turning ghar wapsi upside down.

20. This thread is influenced and inspired by crazy writer Ritu Lalit.
 

Can we really love in Open Relationships?

The mind is a space. Marriage or relationships get so tricky nowadays, particularly when we are leading a stressful life that takes a toll on us. Fidelity or loyalty in a marriage can be personal in the way we look at things and the super successful wedlocks kinda made in a heaven can obscure so many things. Open the drawer and huge skeletons will pop out.

Image credit: Google/ http://libredating.com

The world is undergoing a sexual liberation with social media applications such as Tinder that gives the opportunity to swipe left, right and center. With the hum drum of life, it becomes extremely difficult to commit or invest in a long lasting relationship and the last thing that we want is emotional burden. Honestly speaking, I don't even know how tinder looks since there has been no urge to get myself an account. I have an impression that it's drab and routine much like pornography. Life is pretty much like the amorous relationships that we make and questioning the rules to make our own help to evolve and grow as human entities which move beyond bonding or attachment. Something that comes to the mind is the concept of open relationship which is relatively new in India but bares it open with uncertainty that marks each and every tie between a man and a woman, two men and two women.

The idea is not to indulge in promiscuity or have sex everyone you so desire who are willing to consent. The heart is fickle and it strays towards souls whom they love to fill the space as travelers in this incredible journey of passion. I think that the definition of love is subjective and much like morality or spirituality, it varies from person to person. The dichotomy lies in the feeling expressed that gives the nerve to be in love with different souls at various points or at the same time.

Love should be non-coercive and doesn't come with a statutory warning to confine someone in a frame of mind or for that matter, fulfilling norms. There are couples who are in relationships with different people and who don't cheat on their partners that make the whole thing about choice as transparent. We are free will travelers. I have always been pro-choice where rules should not be imposed, unlike the one-to-one relationships where boundaries are drawn. In life, one should experiment with almost everything that seeks liberation or fulfillment.

I am not advocating open relationships or sleeping around but the fact remains that it can be therapeutic to removed aspects such as longing or jealousy. The lack of space in a relationship can stifle free individuals who believe in having their own set of established rules.  The main argument is what's wrong for someone to choose to be in relationships with different people as long as it doesn't harm or kill anyone which is beyond sex or intimacy but got everything to do with them. Such open relationships teach human so many things to be in touch with the inner self, loving oneself that matters the most rather than growing old with a single someone. Open relationships have the merit to flit easily in our social lives and remove mental blockage that holds us back.

Such relationships can get tricky where there is a dearth of open-minded people for it's all about exploring the soul and the friendship between two people who are together. The playfulness in this scheme of things, foreplay during the act and relying on each other's advice while being attracted to someone else deepen the bond that serves as a great lesson as well as wisdom before taking the plunge.

Of course, I am not advocating or endorsing open relationships but something that we can reflect on and how it can help us to grow ten fold while at the same time unclipping the wings to detach. Suffocation is the biggest bane. Learn to feel the free love and not get overworked when your partner is with someone else subjected to consent between both partners. It can empower the soul and open the heart to reach escalating heights and touch the wider horizon.

Love
Vishal

Relationship, space and contradiction

Relationships are temporary and grow fickle in today's times. The rush to jump on the bandwagon of S for Shaadi is passe and taking the plunge to validate this ideology, 'You need a shoulder to lean on' is like living in the times of our ancestors. Dada-ji ke zamaane type doesn't find an echo with today's youth who have already fleshed out their priorities and there is no dearth of it, career comes first for some, love or family matters follows for the rest and globe trotting the universe for the adventurous lot.  One cannot afford to lose on several counts and the need to make things work out from a professional perspective to make money, get experience and shine  takes priority above the need to settle. As far as relationships are concerned, tinder is looming right in front of the window and there is no rubber stamp on sex. In today's times, being casual works perfectly fine for this generation and there is no need to take load.

Image sourced from: Google.

Relationships can wait and one can tie the knot at the later stage of 35 or 40 that is considered to be the new 18. The hitch is that no matter how much we want to get into a relationship with someone or a fling of sort, time comes in the way like a bitch. We become so busy and there is always the fear of not being able to connect the dots. Is there a twinge of regret for not making the most to be in a relationship? It's always a tricky question. Of course, the pressure is always here. In my case, most of my friends are getting hitched and, for that matter, baby showers on social media. I don't feel left out. Long-term relationship was never for me, in the first place. There is always the issue of giving my committed time which has now become a luxury of sort in my frame of mind and the fear of losing the sacred space looms large.

I struggled for a long time to find my mark career wise and it is only now that things are taking shape but somehow I am stuck in two minds. Do I have the time to invest in a relationship? There are so many things to do and being a very moody person, I am not very sure to focus entirely on that one relationship that brings joy or immense happiness to the soul. I am not very sure of how happy I can be in a long-term relationship. Things can be very claustrophobic on this level with expectations and the much needed space since the 'me' time is needed to switch off from almost everything every now and then.

The truth is that it's been ages that I have shied away from being in a relationship after the painful break up which took me long to see things in a fresh perspective. Agree! I am dying to be with someone, go on a regular date, kissing, intimacy, sex and sharing a good laugh. A relationship is not just limited to cuddling or things like that but much beyond that. I rue the lack of time and my silly mind that makes me more confused on whether this date will do me good or something else.

The bundle of contradiction that I am makes me wonder whether I will die without dating for the rest of my life. Or, should I just close my eyes and go on a harmless date? Honestly, I really don't know what I want  in a relationship, be with someone for that matter, even in a short-term relationship. It's a dichotomy since being in a string of relationships empower us and equip the soul with strength. Of course, I mean being in one relationship at one time and not on a multi-dating spree. It happens with an over-thinker like me, dwelling too much on those things as I verge on my mid-30s. Trust me, my love or sex life doesn't even has a sprinkle of excitement. There is nothing on that count and things are quite dull.

Yeah, I have decided to date but minus a strain on my life since I don't want things to take a toll on me. In fact, the real issue is that I am not in India which is making me so reluctant to date someone. May be, closing my eye and let the cosmic energy guide me to a unique date situation.

Love
Vishal

'Cougar' and pulling the strings in mature relationships

It's not a new phenomenon. Not is it about sexual thrills or estrogen-you know that sensation that run like electricity in our body and causing our sexual energy to reach an adrenaline high. It doesn't make men and women, predators, hunters and the hunted, witch or cougar, that attracts younger men. Unfortunately, the various media parlance terminology has cast an ugly shadow on relationships which is most of the time blurred by famous social prejudices and dogmas. The great hypocrisy in society that pulls all strings to control relationships that doesn't fall into their personalized grace. You name it, you get it, shame and guilt with the typical log kya kahenge.

Image credit: Google

The French President Emmanuel Macron is married to his teacher, Brigitte who is 24 years his senior where both have shown that age gap is no excuse for the blooming of a beautifully mature relationship. Would Brigitte be termed a cougar in our present society? I have no doubt on our hypocrisy and uncalled ability of controlling each and every thing or doling of gyaan on how such relationships pollute morality and other fuck ups, born out of the brain child of so-called social norms. There is nothing wrong in marrying someone older than you between younger man and elder women and vice versa. There has been several instances in the past where I have been attracted to women who are much older or younger to me and trust me, there ought not be guilt feelings to that. It whittles down to the personal choice that we make as human beings.

Sadly, we live in a hostile environment where the by-products of society think that it's a legitimate right for them to make our life decisions. It's a blurred path that they love to tread in controlling minds. It's my firm belief that such relationships are based on sexual freedom, empowerment and modernity coupled with maturity in sharing a bond. It's a deep relationship that petty minds cannot understand or weigh in the connection.

The worse about the equation between an elder woman and a young man, on one hand and elder man and younger girl on the other hand, is that very few will blame the man in that. It's a matter of grave prejudice when the woman is always on the receiving end with accusations such as ensnaring the man. Agree, that the term sugar daddy is as prejudicial as cougar but it's during very rare instances that men in such relationships face brickbats.

Moreover, I refuse to see such relationships as a matter of sexual thrills or adventure, and be it for a short-term or long-term relationship, we need to be more open. It is pretty much like inter-caste, inter-race and same-sex love or relationships, where nonsense are blurted out in the name of religion or misplaced morality. It's the plain ego and fear of the patriarch that their so-called established norms are being challenged.

It's a beautiful and admirable to witness the act of love and respect among elder and younger successful couples based on trust. The maturity is inherent, be it sexual, spiritual or on the worldly views where both partners can learn from each other and grow together. I am in awe of people, blessed with the zest for life and energy to feel forever young and daring to shrug off ridiculous comments, social pressures or prejudices. There is a certain dynamism in the so-called 'cougar' relationships.

Of course, every relationship have its own con and is not restricted to the younger man-older woman or older man-young woman or girl. Critics who snub at such relationships often point out that the disinterest in sex at some point will happen, hostility among family or even friends but also an interest of the younger part in someone their age coupled with the lack of spark. 

Hey! A beautiful relationship based on this equation is about maturity. Therefore, the above factors are hurdles that exist in any other relationship. For instance, what is the guarantee that your partner who is exactly your age will not stray or be attracted to someone else? Can a more or else, same age couple stake a claim to sexual compatibility or maturity? I don't think we can give guarantees in today's times. As far as the hostilities are concerned, I strongly believe that it's your life and you are mature enough not to be in the control or mercy of others, be it parents, extended family or anyone else.

No civilized or educated society can thrive on stupid biases and prevent people to live the way they want in their personal relationships. It's high time for words like cougar or sugar daddy be deleted from our dictionary for it fetters our growth and outlook.

Love
Vishal

Carcass of flesh and eerie night

https://www.pinterest.com/henkhessel/night-frame/

Vagabond straying alone in the universe's created pathway and dark, empty roads;
 Temptation to sin in the city of lust;

Dark alleys;

Vociferous barking of dogs,

often a despairing call,

distrust of strangers:

Eerie silence in the night:

A temptation too hard to resist:

Of flesh and empty, barren souls;

Craving for tenderness, lusty touch and flowery garden of caress;

Empty souls that we are;

Sensual carcass of flesh,

the illusion of love;

It's plain good fuck that gratifies us;

Mechanical sex;

Sometimes with plain strangers and most of the times under society's stamp of approval;

The traveler in us is desperate;

This journey is an illusion;

Life's portrait can be damaging;

A stark reminder to take things slow;

Knocked down is good;

Stop and breath heavily;

Let the gentle air flow inside;

Close the eyes;

Be dead to the world.

Love

Vishal

The trapping of Friend Zone: Dos and Donts

You’ve just been friend-zoned! Wobbling voice, late night sms-es...oops sorry, nowadays, I forgot how cool Whatsapp is nowadays and morning routine wake-up call as if you are some bird rattling on her window sill and squeaking to wake her up from last night’s party.

Tired of the hint that you give her by flirting on how ravishing she looks which your lady love to simply brush it out with , ‘Shut up! You idiot!’ You find everything cute about her, the stupid jokes, coy smile, laughs, and childishness. Why can’t you fucking bare open your heart to express how much you drool over her? There is always a risk. The Lakshman Rekha, I know. You are too scared and insecure to over step the boundary. Loss of friendship and a beautiful relationship is at stake. You toss on the bed at night, staying wide awake with the eyes popping out and playing flames on the crumpled white paper for you are unsure about her feelings for you.

Remember Ae Dil Hai Mushkil, the character played by Anushka, Alizeh loves Ranbir aka Ayan but as a friend. Poor dude Ayan! He has been friend-zoned and couldn’t come to terms with it.

Catch 22: Go Get a Life

It's a catch 22 situation. You do the run around for her and double as her good man Friday. After all, do you see a future with her? Here we are not talking bout getting married or producing beautiful babies but a casual thing, yes or probably romance. There is always a risk. For sure, she is no friend with benefit or fuck buddy if both of you emotionally cling to each other. What happens when both of your decide to call it quits? The pain or hurt expressed when the friendship goes for a toss. It holds no future for both of you. Where is the relationship taking you?

The most sensible thing to do is avoid doing the running around and confidant like the puppy or couch that she snuggles her head to share everything, ranging from BFF zone, jealousy, clothes or the guy she drools over. You are the perfect balloon where she vents out almost everything.


Please for fuck sake don’t keep moving around only with her as if she’s some trophy and don’t forget the golden rule of millions fish to catch in the pond. Stop shutting yourself from the window of opportunities. You look like a best friend mushy corn that she loves to munch. I am not saying don’t be nice but in plain words: Go, Get a Life.

Build on that friendship

You see a future with her. You've been friend-zoned. Caught between the devil and the deep blue sea! Many relationships thrive on steady friendships. Get your priority right! Perhaps you need to shift your gaze away from her and meet new people, new chicks. Flit around and keep a normal distance. She might sense something odd or will realize she is missing you. You can casually ask whether she is missing you and gently broach the topic that you are looking not just for friendship but a relationship which is much beyond BFF type.

Play the waiting game

Love and matters of the heart bloom with hope. In today's time where relationships are casually fickle, you tend to build a mountain of expectations and patiently waiting her breaking up with the boyfriend. Relationships are casual. There are chances of breaking up. Don’t push her away or else, you might lose someone precious. Listen to her tales of insensitive boyfriend, uncaring and matters of the heart she's unwilling to tell her boyfriend. She needs a shoulder to lean and cry. Be that person! The trusted man who would always stand by her without judging no matter what. Make her feel beautiful and desirable.

Friendship vs love vs romance

Often, there is a blurred line between friendship, romance, and physical attraction. It can get physical. Been there and done that, falling for your best friend. It can kill you every nanosecond of life. It's confusing, gloomy and feels like hitting flies with your palm turning into mosquito nets. Be a brand. Most of the girls have several male friends and overnight, they cannot make one of them which is you the boyfriend or sleep with since they bored with life. What is your USP? For sure, you are contented being just a friend in this whole equation. First, thing, just don’t overdo thing that will push her away. Breathe and proceed calmly.

Value her space

We all love our space. It’s a given. Her space means the world to her and don’t suffocate her by stalking her in every nook-and-corner to think ultimately, you are the most welcome in her bedroom. Don’t ask about her exes or her past sex life. Trust me, it’s annoying to the core. How would you like if a female friend is at your neck? Think from that perspective. Control your emotions. It’s quite tricky. Who knows she is taking the time to get over the ex-boyfriend or past relationship that hurts? Such things take a long time to heal. Give her time and space to figure things out. Don’t give the impression that you are in a hurry. Take things slowly and harness the relationship.

Improve yourself

Be a stud and a cool dude that doesn’t fret over simple things like ‘friendzoned’, love and romance. You can surprise her by opening the door of the car, surprise with flowers and hold her chair during lunch or dinner. Be desirable. You don’t need to attend to every single call or Whatsapp message she sends and reply as soon as she pinged.  Drop subtle hints. You gotta chill if freak is inherent in your genes. Gentle prod her if there is a special one in her life or she has an interest in someone. Read the signs and if there is a need to move, just do it in a gentlemanly and charming manner. That way, your friendship stays intact. Don’t be Ayan. You may not be Mister Perfect but a real charmer that will earn you respect and be at your charming best. Who knows she may fall for your charm and chase you down the road!

Chuck our niceties

Be naughty and stop being nice for its dull and boring. The days of being nice is gone, dusted and buried. It’s time to play wicked for girls don’t like good boys. Yes! It’s true. Chuck out nice and be real. Stop wearing the cloak of the dude who loves selflessly and gives freely. Wear a tattoo, get drunk, party heavily and hit on women.

For You ladies!

This one is for you, Womaniya! Who says women don’t get friend zoned in the world of Tinder. It’s time to get rid of your Sati Savitri image. Be smoking and piping red hot, wear that super short skirt showing your sexy legs, tone your bodies and flirt shamelessly. In short, sex it up! All of us are tired being just a friend, be it a man or woman.

Learn to let go. It’s a virtue. So, the next time you are friend-zoned, figure it out like a pro, go on a dating spree and come back to see if he or she misses you or nurture feeling. Be honest and share your feeling, not without telling that you are tired of getting into that play zone.

Love
Vishal

Relationships: The XYZ of it!

I am no expert in relationships. After being in a string of relationships, both longtermish, short and very short that lasted couple of days or weeks or nor dating for years-I ain't sure whether you can call it relationships- and observing people's lives, there is no secret for a healthy and successful ones. There is no such thing as a recipe for a successful living together. It's the small things that make a relation work.

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1. More bak bak and less dhak dhak

Yes! It's true. A relationship is like the jam-packed local train starting from Churchgate to Borivali. In the local train, it's more dhak dhak and less bak bak but in real life, to make the dhak dhak work, you must do bak bak. Once Kajol said, Just talk and talk. It can be anything. Nonsense works most of the time to solve all misunderstandings. As a couple, whether married, living together or just being in a relationship, there is bound to be disagreement or conflict. What do you do next morning? Nopes! I ain't hinting at sex. Just talk and talk. For sure, the conflict or anger will be diluted. Kuch bhi? Of course!

2. Free each other

Love is all about unfettering each other and set totally free to fly and conquer. Or else, it's plain obsession or suffocation. I have seen it among many couples where growing insecurity and low self-esteem crops in when one of the partners speak or harmlessly flirt with another man or woman. Unfortunately, I've seen it coming more from men but also women who control the thoughts of their partners be it on philosophy, ideology, and religion. Be free as lovers and humans. Never enforce your personal beliefs on your partner, A relationship where political, religious or caste belief gains the upper hand is the recipe for disaster. Controlling a person because you love him or her, restricting movements or their choice to party, work till late,what to wear and when to reach home is an absolute No, No!

3. It's me or the Highway

Ego kills a relationship. How can we kill something sacred in its embryo? A moment of anger and words can pierce the heart or tear it into tiny pieces and once unleashed, it cannot be redeemed. A heart is no puzzle game that you can collect and put into a whole. I know it very well. I was immature and my acts damaged a beautiful friendship with an old crush and it took me ten years to say sorry. I often wonder, why do we hesitate so much to bend our back! Bending doesn't make us small or weak. It's a sign of maturity, love, and greatness. A relationship that matters is not defined by Ego and the age old adage, Me or the Highway.

4. Wear your heart on your sleeve

A relationship is not expressed in Head I win, Tail You lose. Such love equation fizzles with time and was never one in the first place. Open the heart and soul naked. Let love flow in equal measure. The idea is to let the person you love enter your heart freely, to touch your inner sense and sensuality. Grow together, accept your flaws and be each other's strength in good and bad times. You can always be a strong pillar of support to each other and don't play hide and seek when it comes to emotions. 

5. Pillow fight

Throw pillow on each other, slug it out and disagree on issues. Being in love or in a relationship doesn't mean you have to agree with each other on every single thing in life. Disagreements don't mean it's the hotbed for conflicts or to make things personal but it is a matter of exploring facets of your respective personalities that you are unaware of and it's another way to get to know each other better. It's a sign of a healthy relationship and learning.

6. Party like wild kids

You've been in a relationship for a long time or are married with kids, slugging your ass in the corporate world. Who says you cannot behave like kids? Party like wild animals, drink like a fish and have the most exotic-cum-spicy sex. Play the game of dating for the first time by pretending to be a stranger in a cafe or pub. Get your friends introduce both you over and again. That's the deal. Be like singles again, do your own things, meet solo friends, go on an adventure trek and don't make your relationship the world in itself that you shunt others. Then, go back to each in an unbarred and bold fashion.

Wet lips and blissful sex

Wet Lips.

Breathless sensation.

Icy cold hand caressing the skin.

Gently reaching soft breast.

Fire of intimacy.

It ain't purple.

It's plain sex.

Say it loud.

We are sexual beings.

Suppressed feelings and emotions.

Who are we kidding?

Sex is an emotion.

We crave for the adrenaline rush,

pumping into our bodies and senses.

A shot that vibrate,

from top to toe.

Flash of moments wired from the brain,

to our heart and the obvious,

Signs don't lie but humans do.

Burning sensation.

It's the act.

The real deal,

entering each other with passion.

Becoming one with nature.

Pure bliss.

Unadulterated sex.

Who Stole my Condoms?!

Politics is an art! You sell yourself to voters! You can sell condoms as a side business to rake the moolah. Ask BJP MP, Gyandev Ahuja, he will tell how he mints money by selling condom by creeping in the dark at JNU in Delhi. Condom sales soaring. It ain't Pathaka. What a figure! 3,000 per day.

Image credit:https://www.facebook.com/Arre-1647011945555015/?fref=photo

Woah! I'm so jealous. What am I doing slogging my ass? Stupid me. I could have shifted base to JNU at night and start selling condoms to students. Now, I am having second thoughts. I fucked up. Yeah! I swear. Where the fuck I discarded those used condoms. How brainless I am! Next time, I gonna send all my used condoms for recycling purposes to Gyandev Anuja. Meri Jaan! Condoms becho aur save karo. See! At the rate, this unique condom seller is going, it might be scarce on the market. Now, we will have a bevy of film starts endorsing condoms in front of JNU, right from Amitabh Bachchan to SRK and Deepika Padukone. Soon, Ranveer Singh will be out of work for his condom ad will soon fizzle out. So much time, our Ranveer Baba has wasted.

It's the new face of condom and he goes by the name Gyandev Ahuja, Next time, I misplace or lose my condom pack, I know who followed me to the chemist and sneaked inside my house. Chor padka gaya. Ahuja, you dirty and naughty fellow. Ah! How about doing a start up, Make in India and start manufacturing condoms to rake millions. I am sure Ahuja will help me out kick start my Make in India business and together, we can make it a money spinner. He will be my best salesman by standing outside the gate at JNU, selling it. See! I will create employment for the dude in his spare time, free from his parliamentary duty and sell condoms. Now, all you condoms manufacturers, no need to look far to recruit sales people for Gyandev Ahuja is here and shift your outlets at JNU.

It's all about the love you make. No hatred. It's true Ghar Wapsi and Ache Din the condom way.

Aaj kal Charchey Puri Sheher mein Condom ka and it's new self-posed brand ambassador Ahuja Sirjee, Who says foot in the mouth don't play and get into the lime light. It pays to be stupid and ludicrous, I tell, The man is such an inspiration that he is giving Yo! Yo! Honey Singh tough competition on the market. Apna Honey Singh wondering whether he will soon be outta work with Ahuja on his trail. Now, who stole the dope? Or, Ahuja is imagining a sex haven in his own world.

Wait! Did he missed an anti-climax during the night to hallucinate and come with such flimsy theory about sex, condoms and drugs.

The many facets of condoms Ahuja way and he is still counting. A tale of who came first, the egg or the chicken. Or,count your chickens before the hatch. It's a plot for a super duper successful erotic movie. The likes of Malika Sherawat or Sunny Leone will curse their luck that they may soon be out of work at the rate condom is being counted. Ahuja may script the story and play the main lead in this tale of dope and condom.

It's a lure. The condom lure. The Bhakts may call it Maya Jaal, an illusion of sort that condom is the real thing and sex is not. Facts will be re-written all over the place and trust Ahuja to get admission at JNU to do his Phd on condoms since he is a maven at it. He will narrate to us tales of condom, sex and drugs post midnight. Have to give it to him for his sheer hard work and dedication for tirelessly picked and counting used condoms at the university. It's time for all of us to stop whining and curse our jobs for if Ahuja can do it, everyone can. Yes! We Can.

Ask Bill Clinton what he did with all his used condoms at the White House. I am skipping the alleged blow job and trust Monika on that. Perhaps, she has preciously saved the used condoms and will send to Ahuja or tell him the sizzling White House tale.

Politically  and OffensivelyYours! 

Vishal

Shift in relationship and US

Is being in love enough in this age of complex relationship which is increasing coming under duress? R for Relationships has many feathers to its cap: fling, one night stand, on and off button, obsession for one another and committed. The kind of love flaunted in the universe of Facebook and selfie makes one wonder on what makes love rosy. Or, are we seeing things with tinted glasses!

The way we look at love and relationship has changed among the teens and new generation with smart phones and gadget applications. For teenagers, it's a shift in mores and the world is undergoing a crisis of sort with the altering of equation. Quick sex sounds like grabbing a burger for those as young as 14 in college who doesn't shy away from getting intimate with multiple partners. The India Today sex survey findings is revealing when it shows how there is no distinct between cities and small cities, where the young do not shy away in telling that they browse porn and do it with class mates. The risk of pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases is always present. It's a worrying trend. At the risk of sounding preachy, I can't stop myself to ask whether they will grow up in an increasingly insecure environment, plagued by emotional vulnerability. 

Has city life and globalization made us vulnerable when we look at relationships where we are reeling under stress? We are a young generation of seekers, we look for love and if it doesn't work out the way we expect things to, we turn into emotional wreck. There are many hazards such as depression and lack of balance that often gives us a wrong perspective about things in store. The interesting part is that our expectations are not lowered when a relationship is not working but to the contrary, we constantly look out for that person who will offer us balance.

Image credit: Google 

It's a change in social mores in an age where we becoming increasingly busy with work and we hardly have time to give to someone. I feel a relationship with no commitment string works out for us and after all, we are human beings who need a shoulder to lean on. There are many who abhor the changing face of love and relationship but the fact is that one needs to adapt to the complexity of life. How do we do that? We stop believing in the thing called romance or love by sitting like a spurned lover. This facet of being a sore loser doesn't find resonance in today's world.

I ain't pretending that we should embrace everything which is modern but the main argument is that we should avoid the pitfall of morality and judge people according to some societal yardstick. Rather, we need to mull on how to treat our relationships, in particular, one that has no future. Expectations from a relationship is something that must be dealt with in a very sensitive manner and knowing that it may not have a long leash of life, we shouldn't make it a priority over other stuffs such as friends, family or personal space. 

Sometimes, we are ill equipped to deal with break ups even if it's a platonic relationship. Partners need this space and emotional disconnect to take care of themselves, which is often neglected. I have a great belief in 'Me time' where we can do activities such as yoga, treating self with shopping, spa and travel. It's very important to see the world and being a great believer in solo travel since it affords one the luxury to be with the self. One shouldn't make relationship the whole of one's life. It is part of our existence but not everything.

Why the rush to jump into back-to-back relationships post a break up? Me think that it's the habit of having someone by our side and we tend to get insecure at times with stress building up in our lives and the crack that we suffer from. We need to take thing slowly and breath easy. Rushing into relationships will not solve half of our problems and just because the whole world is getting on with a partner, that doesn't mean it will work for us. If love is destined to happen, it will and never be shy or stay away from it.