2016-11-18

The trapping of Friend Zone: Dos and Donts


You’ve just been friend-zoned! Wobbling voice, late night sms-es...oops sorry, nowadays, I forgot how cool Whatsapp is nowadays and morning routine wake-up call as if you are some bird rattling on her window sill and squeaking to wake her up from last night’s party.



Tired of the hint that you give her by flirting on how ravishing she looks which your lady love to simply brush it out with , ‘Shut up! You idiot!’ You find everything cute about her, the stupid jokes, coy smile, laughs, and childishness. Why can’t you fucking bare open your heart to express how much you drool over her? There is always a risk. The Lakshman Rekha, I know. You are too scared and insecure to over step the boundary. Loss of friendship and a beautiful relationship is at stake. You toss on the bed at night, staying wide awake with the eyes popping out and playing flames on the crumpled white paper for you are unsure about her feelings for you.

Remember Ae Dil Hai Mushkil, the character played by Anushka, Alizeh loves Ranbir aka Ayan but as a friend. Poor dude Ayan! He has been friend-zoned and couldn’t come to terms with it.



Catch 22: Go Get a Life

It's a catch 22 situation. You do the run around for her and double as her good man Friday. After all, do you see a future with her? Here we are not talking bout getting married or producing beautiful babies but a casual thing, yes or probably romance. There is always a risk. For sure, she is no friend with benefit or fuck buddy if both of you emotionally cling to each other. What happens when both of your decide to call it quits? The pain or hurt expressed when the friendship goes for a toss. It holds no future for both of you. Where is the relationship taking you?

The most sensible thing to do is avoid doing the running around and confidant like the puppy or couch that she snuggles her head to share everything, ranging from BFF zone, jealousy, clothes or the guy she drools over. You are the perfect balloon where she vents out almost everything.


Please for fuck sake don’t keep moving around only with her as if she’s some trophy and don’t forget the golden rule of millions fish to catch in the pond. Stop shutting yourself from the window of opportunities. You look like a best friend mushy corn that she loves to munch. I am not saying don’t be nice but in plain words: Go, Get a Life.

Build on that friendship

You see a future with her. You've been friend-zoned. Caught between the devil and the deep blue sea! Many relationships thrive on steady friendships. Get your priority right! Perhaps you need to shift your gaze away from her and meet new people, new chicks. Flit around and keep a normal distance. She might sense something odd or will realize she is missing you. You can casually ask whether she is missing you and gently broach the topic that you are looking not just for friendship but a relationship which is much beyond BFF type.

Play the waiting game

Love and matters of the heart bloom with hope. In today's time where relationships are casually fickle, you tend to build a mountain of expectations and patiently waiting her breaking up with the boyfriend. Relationships are casual. There are chances of breaking up. Don’t push her away or else, you might lose someone precious. Listen to her tales of insensitive boyfriend, uncaring and matters of the heart she's unwilling to tell her boyfriend. She needs a shoulder to lean and cry. Be that person! The trusted man who would always stand by her without judging no matter what. Make her feel beautiful and desirable.

Friendship vs love vs romance

Often, there is a blurred line between friendship, romance, and physical attraction. It can get physical. Been there and done that, falling for your best friend. It can kill you every nanosecond of life. It's confusing, gloomy and feels like hitting flies with your palm turning into mosquito nets. Be a brand. Most of the girls have several male friends and overnight, they cannot make one of them which is you the boyfriend or sleep with since they bored with life. What is your USP? For sure, you are contented being just a friend in this whole equation. First, thing, just don’t overdo thing that will push her away. Breathe and proceed calmly.



Value her space

We all love our space. It’s a given. Her space means the world to her and don’t suffocate her by stalking her in every nook-and-corner to think ultimately, you are the most welcome in her bedroom. Don’t ask about her exes or her past sex life. Trust me, it’s annoying to the core. How would you like if a female friend is at your neck? Think from that perspective. Control your emotions. It’s quite tricky. Who knows she is taking the time to get over the ex-boyfriend or past relationship that hurts? Such things take a long time to heal. Give her time and space to figure things out. Don’t give the impression that you are in a hurry. Take things slowly and harness the relationship.

Improve yourself

Be a stud and a cool dude that doesn’t fret over simple things like ‘friendzoned’, love and romance. You can surprise her by opening the door of the car, surprise with flowers and hold her chair during lunch or dinner. Be desirable. You don’t need to attend to every single call or Whatsapp message she sends and reply as soon as she pinged.  Drop subtle hints. You gotta chill if freak is inherent in your genes. Gentle prod her if there is a special one in her life or she has an interest in someone. Read the signs and if there is a need to move, just do it in a gentlemanly and charming manner. That way, your friendship stays intact. Don’t be Ayan. You may not be Mister Perfect but a real charmer that will earn you respect and be at your charming best. Who knows she may fall for your charm and chase you down the road!

Chuck our niceties

Be naughty and stop being nice for its dull and boring. The days of being nice is gone, dusted and buried. It’s time to play wicked for girls don’t like good boys. Yes! It’s true. Chuck out nice and be real. Stop wearing the cloak of the dude who loves selflessly and gives freely. Wear a tattoo, get drunk, party heavily and hit on women.

For You ladies!

This one is for you, Womaniya! Who says women don’t get friend zoned in the world of Tinder. It’s time to get rid of your Sati Savitri image. Be smoking and piping red hot, wear that super short skirt showing your sexy legs, tone your bodies and flirt shamelessly. In short, sex it up! All of us are tired being just a friend, be it a man or woman.

Learn to let go. It’s a virtue. So, the next time you are friend-zoned, figure it out like a pro, go on a dating spree and come back to see if he or she misses you or nurture feeling. Be honest and share your feeling, not without telling that you are tired of getting into that play zone.

Love
Vishal

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