2016-11-20

Being a Man

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There will be men and then there will be boys. I stumbled on this topic on a web portal which got me thinking what ‘Being a Man Means’ and what social conditioning over the years leads us to think. No! It’s not about being aggressive, showing virility or pumping iron.

Being a Man for me means showing respect to women, treat them as equal to me and respect their intelligence or achievements. It goes much beyond that and doesn’t entail me with inherently inborn privileges over them as human beings. I refuse to believe in entitlement since we don’t have ascribed status.

Being a Man doesn’t make me a protector of woman. I feel that we have tread a wrong route when it comes to protecting a woman. She can be her own protector and she doesn’t need a man to do that. The moment we decide that we are a kinda superhero protector, it boosts the wrong image of fairer sex. Of course, as a man, I must have the balls to stand for a woman when someone is bullying or insulting her.

Being a Man means that I can cry as a human being to express my emotions. I was born into the womb of a woman and emotions are passed to me. I am weak as a man and it’s time to accept this personality trait. Being a Man doesn’t make me flawless and it’s not about biceps.

Being a Man means smooching a girl, getting intimate and having sex without going around and tell around that I have had sex with X, Y or Z. There is a difference between men and boys. Boys go around and tell the world they have sex with a particular girl. For me, it’s immature and doesn’t make someone a man. Be a Man but with human dignity and self-respect.

Being a man means shoulder your responsibilities, never shy away and accept with grace you are wrong, doesn’t matter the criticisms comes from a female or male boss. It’s all about chucking out the ugly male ego and don’t be a conspirator to the world of patriarchy. Being a man doesn’t mean that I can force myself on a woman. Remember, No means No! When a woman says she doesn’t want Sex, it means No you cannot force yourself into her. It makes you a Man, not the other way round.

Being a man means believing in values and never to compromise ethics, ideologies I believe in. Standing for what is right and speaking about what is wrong makes you a man, woman but most importantly human.

Being a Man means standing for your woman in the face of all forms of oppression, be it sexual, gender and religious. No religious saint can tell me that my wife, sister or mother shouldn’t touch flowers during prayers just because she is going over her periods. It’s the worst and false religious implication which is ridiculously stupid which fetters us. It’s what dark ages are all about! Hit against this malpractice and let’s restore dignity to society.

Being a Man means is to treat my son and daughter with respect, instill in them the values of equality and to teach them emotions, doing the dishes or earning is not a man or women thing. It’s about teaching my son to be respectful towards women and my daughter not to let anyone crush her identity, it is her choice to have boyfriends, premarital sex or wear short skirts since she is not dirty but the minds who reek of filth.
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