Relationships: The XYZ of it!

I am no expert in relationships. After being in a string of relationships, both longtermish, short and very short that lasted couple of days or weeks or nor dating for years-I ain't sure whether you can call it relationships- and observing people's lives, there is no secret for a healthy and successful ones. There is no such thing as a recipe for a successful living together. It's the small things that make a relation work.

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1. More bak bak and less dhak dhak

Yes! It's true. A relationship is like the jam-packed local train starting from Churchgate to Borivali. In the local train, it's more dhak dhak and less bak bak but in real life, to make the dhak dhak work, you must do bak bak. Once Kajol said, Just talk and talk. It can be anything. Nonsense works most of the time to solve all misunderstandings. As a couple, whether married, living together or just being in a relationship, there is bound to be disagreement or conflict. What do you do next morning? Nopes! I ain't hinting at sex. Just talk and talk. For sure, the conflict or anger will be diluted. Kuch bhi? Of course!

2. Free each other

Love is all about unfettering each other and set totally free to fly and conquer. Or else, it's plain obsession or suffocation. I have seen it among many couples where growing insecurity and low self-esteem crops in when one of the partners speak or harmlessly flirt with another man or woman. Unfortunately, I've seen it coming more from men but also women who control the thoughts of their partners be it on philosophy, ideology, and religion. Be free as lovers and humans. Never enforce your personal beliefs on your partner, A relationship where political, religious or caste belief gains the upper hand is the recipe for disaster. Controlling a person because you love him or her, restricting movements or their choice to party, work till late,what to wear and when to reach home is an absolute No, No!

3. It's me or the Highway

Ego kills a relationship. How can we kill something sacred in its embryo? A moment of anger and words can pierce the heart or tear it into tiny pieces and once unleashed, it cannot be redeemed. A heart is no puzzle game that you can collect and put into a whole. I know it very well. I was immature and my acts damaged a beautiful friendship with an old crush and it took me ten years to say sorry. I often wonder, why do we hesitate so much to bend our back! Bending doesn't make us small or weak. It's a sign of maturity, love, and greatness. A relationship that matters is not defined by Ego and the age old adage, Me or the Highway.

4. Wear your heart on your sleeve

A relationship is not expressed in Head I win, Tail You lose. Such love equation fizzles with time and was never one in the first place. Open the heart and soul naked. Let love flow in equal measure. The idea is to let the person you love enter your heart freely, to touch your inner sense and sensuality. Grow together, accept your flaws and be each other's strength in good and bad times. You can always be a strong pillar of support to each other and don't play hide and seek when it comes to emotions. 

5. Pillow fight

Throw pillow on each other, slug it out and disagree on issues. Being in love or in a relationship doesn't mean you have to agree with each other on every single thing in life. Disagreements don't mean it's the hotbed for conflicts or to make things personal but it is a matter of exploring facets of your respective personalities that you are unaware of and it's another way to get to know each other better. It's a sign of a healthy relationship and learning.

6. Party like wild kids

You've been in a relationship for a long time or are married with kids, slugging your ass in the corporate world. Who says you cannot behave like kids? Party like wild animals, drink like a fish and have the most exotic-cum-spicy sex. Play the game of dating for the first time by pretending to be a stranger in a cafe or pub. Get your friends introduce both you over and again. That's the deal. Be like singles again, do your own things, meet solo friends, go on an adventure trek and don't make your relationship the world in itself that you shunt others. Then, go back to each in an unbarred and bold fashion.