2017-05-21

'Cougar' and pulling the strings in mature relationships


It's not a new phenomenon. Not is it about sexual thrills or estrogen-you know that sensation that run like electricity in our body and causing our sexual energy to reach an adrenaline high. It doesn't make men and women, predators, hunters and the hunted, witch or cougar, that attracts younger men. Unfortunately, the various media parlance terminology has cast an ugly shadow on relationships which is most of the time blurred by famous social prejudices and dogmas. The great hypocrisy in society that pulls all strings to control relationships that doesn't fall into their personalized grace. You name it, you get it, shame and guilt with the typical log kya kahenge.

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Image credit: Google


The French President Emmanuel Macron is married to his teacher, Brigitte who is 24 years his senior where both have shown that age gap is no excuse for the blooming of a beautifully mature relationship. Would Brigitte be termed a cougar in our present society? I have no doubt on our hypocrisy and uncalled ability of controlling each and every thing or doling of gyaan on how such relationships pollute morality and other fuck ups, born out of the brain child of so-called social norms. There is nothing wrong in marrying someone older than you between younger man and elder women and vice versa. There has been several instances in the past where I have been attracted to women who are much older or younger to me and trust me, there ought not be guilt feelings to that. It whittles down to the personal choice that we make as human beings.

Sadly, we live in a hostile environment where the by-products of society think that it's a legitimate right for them to make our life decisions. It's a blurred path that they love to tread in controlling minds. It's my firm belief that such relationships are based on sexual freedom, empowerment and modernity coupled with maturity in sharing a bond. It's a deep relationship that petty minds cannot understand or weigh in the connection.

The worse about the equation between an elder woman and a young man, on one hand and elder man and younger girl on the other hand, is that very few will blame the man in that. It's a matter of grave prejudice when the woman is always on the receiving end with accusations such as ensnaring the man. Agree, that the term sugar daddy is as prejudicial as cougar but it's during very rare instances that men in such relationships face brickbats.

Moreover, I refuse to see such relationships as a matter of sexual thrills or adventure, and be it for a short-term or long-term relationship, we need to be more open. It is pretty much like inter-caste, inter-race and same-sex love or relationships, where nonsense are blurted out in the name of religion or misplaced morality. It's the plain ego and fear of the patriarch that their so-called established norms are being challenged.

It's a beautiful and admirable to witness the act of love and respect among elder and younger successful couples based on trust. The maturity is inherent, be it sexual, spiritual or on the worldly views where both partners can learn from each other and grow together. I am in awe of people, blessed with the zest for life and energy to feel forever young and daring to shrug off ridiculous comments, social pressures or prejudices. There is a certain dynamism in the so-called 'cougar' relationships.

Of course, every relationship have its own con and is not restricted to the younger man-older woman or older man-young woman or girl. Critics who snub at such relationships often point out that the disinterest in sex at some point will happen, hostility among family or even friends but also an interest of the younger part in someone their age coupled with the lack of spark. 

Hey! A beautiful relationship based on this equation is about maturity. Therefore, the above factors are hurdles that exist in any other relationship. For instance, what is the guarantee that your partner who is exactly your age will not stray or be attracted to someone else? Can a more or else, same age couple stake a claim to sexual compatibility or maturity? I don't think we can give guarantees in today's times. As far as the hostilities are concerned, I strongly believe that it's your life and you are mature enough not to be in the control or mercy of others, be it parents, extended family or anyone else.

No civilized or educated society can thrive on stupid biases and prevent people to live the way they want in their personal relationships. It's high time for words like cougar or sugar daddy be deleted from our dictionary for it fetters our growth and outlook.

Love
Vishal
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