I don't remember the last time I dated somebody and lost the art of flirting or striking a conversation with a random stranger girl. It's all about net practice, like some of my male friends would tell and urge me to be the wild stallion that I may have been in the past, at a time when people around me are either getting married, being in and out of a slew of casual relationships or flings.
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The school days were spent studying and facing the pressure with the same good ole mantra, 'No good marks, no good job and no decent girl with marry you. You can find a girl once you are done with certificates.' Surviving on a measly pocket money for a middle class boy means the chances of taking a girl out is slim. It left me with only one choice, bank robbery. I turned into a speccy nerd whom girls found boring to date. They'd better choose death which means no action for me, sadly. I whined my time fooling around with my 'luccha' friends and time just flew.
There were too many options of beautiful girls to crush on in college and too many choices means a life time went on to decide whom to date or not. There were too many silly crushes that I contented myself my share and the eyes kept craving for the strawberry faces. College life flickered like dust.
See, I am a one man woman and the girl I liked was either taken and poor me was friend-zoned. I waited in vain for her to break with her boyfriend and when the time came, I already moved on to greener pastures. Same old story repeated here.
When it was the time to date with money in hand, work took its own toll on me and there was hardly any time for that. The days were spent waking up early, getting ready for work and sleeping. I forgot what it was like to go around with someone.
I was still figuring out what I wanted to do with life, career wise. Most of the chicks at work were either taken, made a sister and very few had brains whom you can date. You know, mindless conversations and gossips. The worse thing is my silly brain that raised the relationship standard too high post my last relationship where me and my girl had an intellectual level where our minds more than the heart converged. There was no way that I could lower my dating standards. I am no Deepika who chucked the suave Ranbir for Ranveeer. To complicate things, it's my ethical mind that was at play where office romance is a strictly no-no affair. A decade went by without finding that almost perfect someone and my heart goes on. I felt like the male version of Celine Dion from another era.
Losing faith in human relationships with the amount of break ups and marriages going kaput became part of my routine. To top it all, I became so used to be along and single. Bad habits are hard to break. I became cynical with relationships after my break up where my everything was invested in that single relationship. The time I spent to nurse my wound and heal...Time to move on, baby!
With time, I can only admire a beautiful girl from a looming distance and thinking that she is too young for me or too hot to handle. Better, I go back to college days where occasional dating was drenched in memory. It feels like the train has already left the station and there is no one to blame, except yourself for failing to hop on the bandwagon. You are no longer handsome and she is a fucking princess. Smile and move on.
During the college days, a question haunted me: Why aren't I dating? It's simple. I was in a relationship with the gang who was only interested in making merry, fooling around and busy having fun by smoking, boozing and occasional ganja parties. Friends became my life and everything. There was no place for a chick to enter my life or else vows of friendship would've been violated.
The pressure to get married and all that shit where you tend to hit back at parents who keep bringing a prospective match. As it is, matrimonial sites like shaadi.com are for silly people who can't even find someone on their own. Certainly, I don't want to be that guy who goes on a blind date set by parents where the woman finds me bizarely weird.
Books, blogging and the unsuccessful attempt to write this best selling book about imaginary love and sex became my priority. I wanted to become the next Chetan Bhagat in town raking the moolah. A decade flew and still nothing ever happened. Probably, things will not be happening in the next decade of my otherwise routine and mechanical life. Sex is a luxury.
Where all those women that you keep urging me to date? I must find them in the first place. They are nowhere to be found and all my prospective dates or flings are already in marital bliss or busy tying the knot. It makes you go mad.
I've spent a major part of my life paying that personal loan that I took to travel, laptop and expensive phone on EMI. There is no money to take a chick out and the little sanity I have makes it impossible to ask a random woman out online. How despo it sounds?!
At the end of the day, it's all about the aspirations to move away from home and parents exploring life in various cities of the world and the joy of staying alone in an apartment gives me a mental masturbation. I prefer to grow and see life rather than being stuck in the drudgery of marriage and kids.
There is no intention to share my bed with someone for the rest of life. Like my whisky, I like my bed large where I can spread my stiff body and spend my time reading fantasies or the world romance in books that sell like hot pancakes. No one shall invade that space. I am scared of invaders and terrorists...who knows some hot bimbo may be hired to plant a bomb. Dreamer I am! It leaves me with only one option...getting laid.
So, now you get the drift? Stop asking me such fucked up questions about how I should have found a chick in college to tie the knot or someone to make my life.
Love ya all, fuckers
V
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