Happy marriage, unhappy you and Fat family

Picture is for representational purpose only. Source: https://www.parekhcards.com

Threat and ultimatum of marriage resemble a time bomb and is worse for girls past the mid-20s. For men like me in the mid-30s-the age is a deep dark secret- we are not spared by the bua, phuppa, pesky uncle ji and aunty ji, nana, dadi and even younger folks doling gyaan on marriage as if it gives them an erection.

Why do people marry? For love, companionship and fulfilling parents’ will or the innate fear of being alone. Another bigger reason and biggest truth brushed under the carpet, for sex when there is insecurity of not getting any. Yes! Trust me, people marry for sex and a crude way of putting it, getting their fair share of banging.

The pet peeves I personally come across are uber-conservative folks hinting on happiness being irrelevant to fulfilling sacred obligations for parents.  I shall skip this bit about marrying for parents but one question is if H for happiness is not important, how do we explain the growing rate of divorce, separation or outside affairs? Certainly, the law that criminalized adultery until a few days back didn’t deter people from having sex outside marriage! Think! Think!

Marriage is a choice so is ‘one-night stand’. Of course, the moral issue may linger above the legal scheme of things. One cannot make a choice to be unhappy in life so that our folks become the happiest on earth. I keep getting all kind of gyaan on my impending marriage and the whys of forever delaying being settled as if the former is some nobel prize to procreate. The worst thing is when we think about folks caught in a catch 22 situation in a marriage and choosing to hide behind the entire ‘children’ argument in an effort to mask suffering or the lack of spine to break-away.

Looking at the bigger picture, the entire thing whittles to sexuality and desire versus the ingrained fear of family which prevents individuals from breaking away from the shackle of an unconsummated marriage. Alternately, suppression of emotional and sexual desires never reaches the climax. This holds true for singles, divorcee or married alike.  Are you going to look for happiness in an institution scripted by the world, read parents? Since you played no intrinsic role in its making, what is the guarantee it will become a successful model? Marriage as a club or institution you commit to is no less than a business model. What’s the use of a system lacking passion, half-baked hearts into a venture with no trace of happiness?  

Listen to your heart and be true to the self in chartering the individual path and jump into the bandwagon only if you willing or committed to. Never do anything for anyone else but yourself in finding the space to glow, blossom and grow. The society is made of people like us who created culture, again something not infallible and we cannot be dictated by a group of people on doing on what is good or morally right for us. Choose happiness and being one’s own self against any shit spread by society or so-called culture.

Happy Sunday

Birthday and happiness

Wassap people,
Celebrated ma budday on June 24 and as I write this post on Sunday it is eck jhackly one week. I am born again or if I put it that way,  re-born. The new kid on the block is blossoming slowly into one-week old cute baby boy. I received so much love during ma birthday via Facebook, sms, chat and phone calls. The wishes kept flowing even after budday got over. I am forever grateful to life and frenz that matters.
I cannot whine about life and whatever I have received has been a complete bundle of joy, happiness and success as I look back at the years that elapsed. It has been a beautiful journey, making so many good friends and earning a beautiful place in people's hearts. The reason I made so many friends is because I wear my heart on my sleeve and open up to people with honesty and genuine care and concern. I connect the dots with people and there is no hidden motive in my interaction with people. That's me.
One thing I have learned in life is to act in a selfless manner with people. I love people!!!! I have learned a lil bit of lessons in life and I honestly believe that one..errr sorry me..shouldn't have a sea of expectations from people. If I connect with people, I will go out of my way to do everything but I shouldn't expect that they will give back in the same manner. Expecting too much is wrong from my perspective.
In that way, I have received so much from people and for which I am eternally grateful to life. Yes! Indeed! I have received so much love from people..a thousand splendid suns. My reasoning is simple: If things come your way, great! If it doesn't and if like me you don't expect too much, there is very less or no grief and disappointment. That's the way I am. I go out of my way to make people around me feel comfortable and I am not going to change that part of me. Sure! Some people have told me to stop being like that since people will take me for granted. Par kya karein! That's the way I am and I believe that life is more about giving and less about receiving.
Next point. It's been an amazing journey of life and it's been a great learning experience and happiness. I have my fair share of success. I made the best of friends and studied in one of the best colleges in India and the best in Pune, Fergusson College. I am blessed. I would do nothing to change this. What I wouldn't give to get back this life. Haan! There are certain things in life that I wished for and has so far eluded me. Theek hai! Not all that we wished for is turned into reality. May be I haven't tried hard enough to achieve all my dreams. But, we live in a world of immense possibilities and it's not too late as someone pointed out to me the other day. My dream of becoming an actor and a film-maker has become a distant dream so far. But, that doesn't mean that it will never become a reality. I am quite confident and intend to start soon with a short film.
Today, a dear friend of mine got hitched in Pune. I am damned happy for her as she has finally found love. She is such a wonderful person and she deserves every moment of happiness. As far as I am concerned, quite a few people have discussed on when I am taking the plunge or whether I will ever get married.
My present state of mine is:NO. I love my freedom too much to ever get married and I feel that marriage is a trap imposed by society to impose their rules and I don't want to bend to the rules. Marriage like religion is imposed by society to exploit our state of being. If I have to make a choice in life, I will always opt for the triumph of my individuality and I am not going to trade it for anything else in my life. I refuse to get bogged down by the rules of society.
Where does love come into the whole business of marriage? I don't think that we can link love to marriage. Sure, from a different perspective love is connected to marriage but I have an entirely different take on that. I believe in the very concept of 'free love'. Assume tomorrow, I fall in love with someone, yeh zaroori nahin hai ke next step should be marriage. If we truly love each other, we can always be there for each other when needed. If she decides to be with someone else who will provide her with care, security, emotional and material comfort, I will not stop her. This is true love. If you love someone, that doesn't mean that you should not respect her wishes if she chose not to be with you but rather with someone else. Why get into the marriage business? But, it's my own perspective on life, love and marriage. What is good for new kid on the block is not necessarily true for the whole world. But, then I am rebel and that's the way I am!
Have a good day.

Shaadi fixation

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

Spoke to a friend after ages on phone and was so shocked when he asked me, Dude have you got married? and I was like Noooo. To which he replied, I would not be surprised coz everyone is getting married. Don't blame him as I can't understand why everyone is getting married as if there will be no tomorrow. I am not preaching anything nor I am interfering into people's personal lives nor am I advocated something on bachelor-kinda status. It's like the big marriage season is in.
I am an ineligible bachelor in my own eyes though I know for families I am quite a pataka..just joking..eligible bachelor. I remember someone coming home with some rishta and when I reached home Mom told me about that. There is a cousin of mine with whom I was chatting when he was studying medecine in Russia. Dude, since that time this guy was telling me that before he goes back to his hometown, he had already asked his momma-dearest to find a nice, decent, educated girl with Indian values. It was soooo funny. After some unsuccessful match making and meeting some gals, he finally found someone on the arranged marriage kinda fixation. His Momma no doubt was so proud of future daughter-in-law..young graduate working in a banking corporation and is studying law by distant. Wow! I'm so proud of cousin!!!!!
dearest.
But, somehow I can't understand the whole marriage via shaadi kinda business. For once, I don't feel the need why i should get married so soon. Abhi mere umar kya hai, yaaar? I feel someone should get married of he or she wants to not because you are out of college, have a successful career or give a heir to your parents. And please, don't give me the shit that you are growing day by day and you shall be stepping in your late 20s or early 30s or that the time your children will step in university of life, you will be quite old. It's so shitty, traditional and conservative. I have faced it and refuse to accept it coz I live life on my own terms. That's my reality.
I can't understand how hypocrite can we get and the double standards that we display is grossly indecent and shameful. For a guy we want the domesticated girl who doesn't smoke, drink or party. she must be ready to perform prayers or rituals at home, look after ma and pa-in laws but we don't mind dating the super hot chick in town and hitting the disc every Saturday night coz we need to get laid. But,we will not accept our wife to party. We should get rid of this double standard and as a guy I am incensed when a woman who parties all night is branded a slut and the oh! You can't marry her. Abbe maderchod who are you to decide for me and I am going to sleep with her and make babies not you. Why are you so concerned about my life? It's my life and I'm quite sane to decide what is good or bad for me.
Another shocking attitude which I have encountered: If you don't marry now young girls will not marry you and what you'll get is a divorcee. So what? is it a sin that someone is a divorcee? Relationships sometimes work and sometimes doesn't and what the fuck if someone is a divorcee and may be the relationship has gone bad and one doesn't have the right to label her as a woman of low virtues. Virtues is all about ethics, honesty and integrity and not those craps as it's been present in society.
For once and all, lemme put it clear: I don't know about tomorrow but I don't believe in marriage. i would prefer to be in a live-in relationship. As it is I don't need a certificate from society to live with the woman I love and if problems crop up, we can leave it at this point. We don't need to go through all the paper works of divorce. I am being plain honest here. That's it.

Tale of my quirky insurance agent

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

I'm bad at saving money. It's the time to confess that. I've been working for the past 2 years after I passed out from college and university and whatever I save in bank end up in the dumps. I'm short of cash and ATM card guided my me is whittled away gradually. Counselled by Mom and my bua I agreed to meet an Insurance agent on Friendship day. The guy is the insurance agent of my bua and after much coaxing I gave in and on a Sunday this guy paid me a visit.
Uhhhh! There is nothing wrong with the insurance plan. In fact, it is a pretty decent one and me think that I'm gonna go with it. It's flexible and schemes can be changed to suit my fancy. I can easily move from one plan to another and claim the money and take loanable facilities. The problem is the guy. He's affatus but what irritated me is that on a busy Sunday, he made the history of the company and trying to hard sell his company too much. For starters, I wanna tell him, cut the crap dude, I know you represented a damn good company and I've done enough research on this one. But, but this guy was going on and on..blah!blah!blah! You know our company has been there for a long time, our shares are quoted on the stock exchange..Only thing remaining for the guy to do was to indulge in some kind of oria. I was feeling so cloyed as he started praise my intellect..Hell! you hardly know me and how come you know that I am very intelligent to the point of being a genuis.
It was getting on me as I don't have patience to do so on a Sunday and especially listening to an agent spouting. Finally, I interrupted him by offering him a cup of tea which he refused. Thank God he asked for a glass of water so that I can get up and get him. Finally after 30 minutes he explained the plan to me. Invest Rs 1000 bucks for a period of 20 years and I shall get Rs 800,000. Waise bhi!!! Who has the patience to wait for 20 years to cash on the money. That was funny. I listened patiently and smiling on those fucking 20 years. A toast to the flexible term which I can change next year by invest a lil more...god help me so that I can cash in the money in some 6 to 7 years.
Funniest thing but not pleasant to one's ears..In an event something happens to you and you end up dying....Yea he actually said that..Your relatives will get the money immediately..Abe Madarchod! If I die I won't even enjoy the money in pa
rlok..what the fuck is that someon else will enjoy my hard earned money? Fuckong asshole I've been slogging my butt so that some guy in the family enjoy my money. Certainly not my mom! She won't feel like taking the money of her son and I don't intend to get married by now...
This is nothing. His best is yet to come!!! It is a good thing that you are investing so that when you marry you can plan ahead and finance your children's higher education. WTF!!!!!I'm not married and this fucker is after my life. I wanna invest wisely and enjoy the monetary gains and not for children..hmm! U not married. You should so that you are not too old when your children are going to university. Asshole! Did I asked your opinion when I should get married?! Bloody loser, why do you wanna screw my life?!

Never mind. I'm going ahead with his plan since it is a good one. No! I'm not waiting for 20 years and wish to get the money very soon. There is another insurance agent, a very pretty gal who's been after me so that she can prepare a plan for me. Every time, she calls I just manage to tell her, next time.Lat time, she called and insisted for us to meet, told her to call me in 2 months..Had to ward her evil spirit off coz she was like,tell when you were born and your occupation so that I can prepare a plan for you..Holy shit! Difficult to get rid of those species...Insurance people are indeed quirky....WTF