2012-05-11

Love calculation (1)

There is no calculus theorem of love..oh!Dear and respected mathematicians of the world..how come you've skipped the word called 'Love' while designing the greatest theory. What is love? Why does it happen? When it happens, why don't we measure its pros and cons?
Before falling in love with someone,there are certain things that we need to calculate. Like, do I have any future in this relationship? What if it doesn't work? Can I afford to inflict self-harm to myself? The wound from my relationship has not been completely healed. So, why should I get into the lovey-dovey romantic relationship? Am I being fair to myself and to the other person?
There is no denying the fact that in the start love looks so beautiful and is the most amazing feeling in the world. You have the impression that you are the happiest person in the world and life looks perfect. It can't get better than that. The person is the most amazing person in the world and he or she cannot be wrong. You get into those mushy thingies, red rose, wine, candle light dinner, roaming into the deserted streets, holding hands over your cuppa coffee and in the theater, stealing a kiss in the monsoon. Your sex life is also the most awesome thing. Then, bingo!

As soon as you get to know the person, you actually get into the thinking the mode: Is she or he the same person I knew in the start? Am I in a proper relationship? Will it do good for me? Why am I still in the relationship with her? There are so many what ifs raging in your mind. Then, after some time, the fights and your brain altogether stop functioning..As they say, love is the malfunction of the brain. Like Meghna told me last time, sometimes people don't use their brains when they fall in love and end up doing sensical things and don't realize how stupid they look. She was speaking in a particular context and looks like she was directed her ire at guy. Well babe! Both the dudes and gals get into those things, though women are much more smarter, intelligent and sometimes, practical than their male counterparts.
There are some standards that we set before meeting somebody and most of the time when you meet that person, she never meets such criterias. Will she be sweet and compassionate? Is she someone with whom I can have a meaningful conversation and believe in principles? She is not one of the scheming and manipulative lot..sense of humor, enjoying every moment of life is lacking in her and often you are in for a big disappointment. Often, we set standards for our next relationship...will she be hot and good at making out? caring, sensitive and understanding..and when you meet, you feel that they are a total reject?
Then, you meet somebody who shares the same ideas...i mean or less..we all have qualities and weakness..you get into thinking..am I reading to take the plunge and get into this serious relationship? Serious thoughts crop into your mind and what if?! True, you are no longer a college student that you will be able to face the break up or shit like that..you have a life, remember and what if the person doesn't give your space in the relationship. C'mon, we may decide to live together and it's actually a big effort on the part of both of us to share our bedroom or room for that matter since it is a very private space in our life. Once it happens, there are certain adjustment that need to be made. Back to the love calculation-kinda-theorem, I have my own life and expect her to have a life of my own. I always believe that in a relationship, there should be a charter-I live my life and you live yours and you free to meet both your male and female friends--my pals and buddies. If I am meeting a long female buddy for a drink that doesn't mean that I am having an affair. There is something called Trust in a relationship. You meet your male friends and I don''t have any fucking problem with that coz if I am meeting the babes for a drink, then I don't have a right to stop you. Then, you shouldn't behave like an obsessive lover and starts calling me every now and then when I am working in the office, at the university or happily boozing with friends.
However, it's also true when love doesn't come all planned and you wake up in the morning, deciding to fall in love with someone. I know it just happens. And, when it happens what do you do, go for it?! Remember, I have my love calculus and measuring all my options. As I said, I wouldn't like to hurt myself and in that sense, I would prefer an open relationship with her coz I wouldn't like to eat too much of time and getting into the relationship hassles.
The reason is very simple: The last time I took a hell longish time to get out of my breakup and wouldn't like to fuck up things. As they say lessons learned. But! There is always a but! Love is like gravity and it just happens like Shit happens in life. What do we do then? Does our love calculus goes for a toss? Falling in love cannot be prevented. Should we chase it coz a second chance doesn't really comes..though I don't subscribe to this view....
Remember, I have my love calculus.....
To be continued...................

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