2012-05-01

Random thoughts

Hola people,
Downed three pegs of Grants whisky or almost finished the third one..surprisingly I'm getting the high now only..I'm having whisky after a gap of four months. Last time, it was in December when I tasted my favourite Indian brand, Imperial Blue on X-mas day. Sometimes, we badly need alcohol to dilute the stress in life. Bah! stress in life..you name it, you get it..tiredness, deadlines, a situation where you fight against yourself and you know that you cannot win..bloody fucking circumstances.You just can't win and you wonder that was life at one point and now..the now where you presently stand.
Yeah! I know it's just a matter of time when I will be happy. I miss the quotient of happiness that I was eligible few years back. Happiness revisited for 20 days and that's it. I am an impatient bastard!!!!!!!Or, am I? Dunno who is reading the crap at dis odd hours of the day.
I've neglected this blog for so long and it's high time to give some updates on ma otherwise dull life. One wonder what kind of life is dat? Getting bloody high on the name of alcohol and you wonder you have hardly any friend to socialise with, except a few ones. Then, they don't booze. What life was a few years back and what it became now.  I had a strong support system to rely on. I mean that some of my frenz are still here and wheneva I want them, they are just a call way. But, then I hate this bloodyyy distance. True, life doesn't remain static and will keep on evolving. You lose some battles in life and you win some. This is where alcohol fits in and provide a sort of solace. Mind you! I am the biggest optimist and am sure that things will evolve over time. Don't read too much about the rantings. But, why things are not happening?
Sometimes, I listen to my alter ego and will call it, the reasonable me. Whenever I fuck up things, he intervenes and prevents me from sliding further down the drain. He is the reason behind the fact that I am still holding and not buckling under pressure. But, for how long, I ask?! Will I be able to survive the madness and will it ever stop?
Some decisions need to be taken and fast. I am a human being and not a saint. It may be insensitive to others needs. But, after long I am feeling an urge to stay alone and do things on my own. I constantly need to push myself to achieve that. I bloody fucking need my life back and I have reached a state in life where I can't afford living an unhappy existence.
I shall sign off now.
Good night. Tomorrow shall be a new day and a new beginning perhaps.
P.S: Please ignore this crap. It is written in an utter state of drunkenness.

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