2012-04-08

Mixed baggage of emotions, feeling your presence my friend

It's a very personal post.For a quite a few days, I am being transported in a trance-like situation and I am delving further into the outer world, free of the human bonding and attachment. Sometimes, I wonder that life is really too short and we should detach ourselves from the real world and emotions. Rather, we should embrace the cosmic world, non-physical and enter the 'energy' body. Let's face it: We are living a fake existence in this world full of hypocrisy and sliding into the non-real of the human bondage and attachment.
I have just realized our fake existence. I mean, I know we are all living a fake life as ordinary mortals. I made an experience 2 days back when I felt the presence of someone in my life. Whoever are reading this post has the right to think that I have gone mad or some shit like that or that I am fooling people around. On Wednesday, I was in a low ebb as I happened to check my orkut page and scrapes that dates back way to 2006. I happened to read the scrap I sent to Sudhu and he sent back to me.
Then, one find day when there was no Facebook and I was gung-ho on Orkut, I remember quite well that time. I just shifted to Mumbai from Pune. One fine Sunday, I was getting bored in my room at Churchgate and went to the cybercafe to check my orkut scraps. I ran through a scrap by another dear friend of mine Koko, telling me..Hi Vishal, by now you must have heard the bad news...Sudhu is no more. He was carried away by the waters at Khadakvasla dam. I was dumbfounded and shell shocked. I mean why on earth, I dint check my scrap earlier and why I was informed much later after he died.
Several questions raced into my mind: How come life is so unfair and someone we are closed to, chose to disappear? Why it happened? Sudhu was the one who gave me the Bachchan nickname and people still knows me as Bachchan in Pune. I njoy being called Bachchan as it reminds me of Sudhu's presence in our lives.
Yeah, I am missing him for days now and perhaps it's his way to tell me that he is around. There are days where one wonder, Dude, why was the need for you to go, why couldn't you wait for some more time. I've been in this mode for a week now and this time around, when I wake up, I don't want to do anything neither I am in a mood to speak to anybody. Life is a bitch. I often wonder about the futility of life. As ordinary mortals, we rush to work and make money. But, does it matter? Coz we can never know when our lives will be over. Personally, it is a very complex situation: At the end of the day, does our existence really carry any value whatsoever? We live in a hypocrite society and lead a very fake existence. We get swayed by big bucks, material stuffs and emotions like love and soo many things associated to it. In fact, what w are living is a mere illusion.
Days before, I was shedding tears thinking of Sudhu. But, before sleeping, I felt a presence, his presence. I have no words to qualify that, He must be laughing looking at me and wanna say, kya re Bachchan, mere ko yaad kar raha hai,,bas kya..I am very happy and looking after you.Yes, Sudhu, I know you are here and I know that whenever I go through a tough time, you will send your blessings. I just need to close my eyes and say a small prayer. You are here forever and ever: Sending your love. Dude, send some more love and vibrations.
We shared good vibes and that's why we became friends. The cosmic energy that we share is intact and I know that you have entered your energy body. You taught me so many things about life and existence. The need to be myself and stand out in the crowd. Sometimes, your absence gets too me and this week, I was trying to reason with myself. Deep down, I know that you are still very much present among us, sending love and sharing happiness. Whenever, I faces any problem, I think of you. You must be negotiating happiness with the Almighty and it will be sent just in time You must be saying: Dude, dekha maine vaada nibhaya.
I am missing you. I know that it's your way of telling, mere ko yaad kar, Hamesha, I have not gone anywhere man and I'm still very much present with you. Sudhu bhai, mine being quiet for the whole day and thinking of the good times we spent together, having daaru, chai aur cigarettes gives me an inner peace. I do get emotional at times, thinking that it's been six years now.I know six fucking years that you chose to enter the 'energy' world. You chose to continue your life in a world completely different from the world I am living. You shall continue to  travel and enjoy being with the angels, having a whisky, dude.
I know that we will meet again. When I enter the 'energy' world, you will be the first one to welcome me. Kya re Bachchan! aagaya tu..daaru piyega. Dude! We shall booze and have lotsa fun like we once used to have in the other world. Till then njoy and continue your journey. One more thing, send some love from time-to-time in my life. I know you are sitting here and smiling. Gosh! I am feeling your presence again. Now, I am feeling better. I know that the love is being sent. Say hi to Dad and bhaiya. Chalo then, bhau..miltey hai. Haan! Promise..well, you know what no need to spell it here..and ya you remember that chick on that evening....hahhah lol...

Thinking of the wonderful moments spent together over..
Sutta, Imperial Blue whisky, cigarette aur chai..
Feeling very emotional nowadays.
Thinking of you, dude.
Tis your way of saying you are visiting and saying Hi in your majestic style.
Like the Greek god, you conquered.
Those reading this might think that I am nuts.
Of course, I am not..
But, they won't understand..let it be..
Getting in the trance and back in the life.
Life is beautiful.
You led a beautiful life here, Sudhu bhai and there as well..Njoy it.
Send some love and magic.
Visit again..
Who said that you are not here?
I know that you are with us and will be forever.
You have reached the immortal existence.
You are superior to ordinary mortals like.
You are and always be with me.
There is  a smile on my face now.

Love as always, Sudhu bhai

Post a Comment