2011-10-17

Why do couples fight?

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

The big Q: After the honeymoon, the honey sword. It's pretty obvious that after you are set in a relationship, difference of opinion are bound to crop up coz we are different individuals with different thinking process. It leads to an ugly turn when the ego overrides the self and the love.
Be it regular boyfriend and girl friend, married couples and live-in partners, we do fight and many times it takes an ugly turn and goes from healthy discussion to bitter fight. The main reason is: the moolah or what we call the M-factor-paisa bole toh money... Show me the money,honey!!
Dating tip you pay on the first day and as the relationship progresses, you splurge all your money on her buying her goodies, jewellery and branded stuffs.Then, at some point you go dutch and she pays your coffee at Starbucks. You lose your job and she pays for your expenses. Then, your ego can't digest the fact that your lady love is paying for you. The first crack in the relationship is felt and it turns ugly.
On one hand there are your friends who always complain that since you guys are together you are not giving them time. Point blank: You are confused. After all, these guys and gals were there for you and how you balance, dear girlfriend and your mates. If you are a live-in couple or married dude, you invite them to your duplex for drinks and it becomes a weekly session. She feels neglected and tells you that they are entering her space. Before it turns ugly, strike a balance. Make them understand that your pals have always been there for you and at the same time you care for her. Always surprise her with flowers and plan a surprise holiday. Involve her with your mates. This always works. Better still, invite your pals at a time where you are not invading each other's space. Most importantly, encourage her to bring her friends home. In that way she won't feel left out.
I have observed that many couples have the tendency to bring parents within the relationship. It's between you and her or him. At some point, one partner will say I don't like your parents and the other will always retort. Naturally, he or she will took offense for the other not liking the parents. It's only natural to have a like or dislike for someone. We are all human beings. But as long as we love each other why bring parents in the relationship. At the same time, it's his or her parents and you cannot stop them from loving the ones who gave birth and education to them. The best thing is be ready to accomodate the parents if they are coming down. Just try to be nice and who knows you guys might click!! Trust me it will make a difference to him or her and the love bond will grow stronger. As it is you are not going to stay with the parents forever. Give him or her space to be with the parents and don't interfere if you can't be nice.
After a certain number of years of being together, both of you are bound to take things lying down. I mean a relationship can get bored at some point or the other. Both of you are professionals and spend time with your colleagues and a certain amount of attraction to some other person might crop up. This happens when couples take each other for granted. The fun is missing and you no longer go on long drive. Even the sex becomes mechanical. You are become so used to each other that even a small gesture of saying I love you or surprising her with flowers is ignored. In the process, the feeling of the other person is hurt and this is how couples break apart.
The most important thing in a relationship is the C-word. C-for communication is ignored and gives way by C-for conflict. Many couples who indulges into dirty fight often do not communicate with each other after a fight. They behave like complete strangers in the weirdest possible manner.It's a simple trick: Shed your ego and all you need to is talk and talk as if nothing happened. Na gila na Shikwa:)
Post a Comment