First days in college: Fresher's world

Hey, freshies! College has started for you and amid all the excitement and hoopla of breaking the bridge between junior school and college, you suddenly find yourself in a new world. College days are the best of one's life where we make memories, seek friendship, dating, falling in and out of love. The three years in college life gonna define you for the rest of your life. Make memories and years down the lane, you will sorely miss those days. College in India is so much fun where you fall in love with life and look with pride at your alter mater, branded institutions or not. 

Picture source: http://www.hindustantimes.com/

It's your first days and months in college, post the induction period, you are bound to face the pang of home-sickness and how do you fit in comfortable or break the ice! Trust me, it matters to get the best of everything.

1. Don't overdress to kill

The first few days in college will kick the nerves and it's bound for the stress level to kick. It's all about being comfortable in what you wear to flit around. Take it easy peasy. Branded jeans is cool and you don't need to blow a bomb on this pair of Levis jeans, cool tee or blouse to stand out in the crowd. You can fish for decent stuffs at good price. Since the Monsoon period is discount time and smart shopping there are so many shops such as Pantaloons or West Side where you can make a steal. Chuck out the over the top make up and for dudes, those fancy shoes. Be comfortable in who you are. Get yourself a cool bag which you will get at decent shops on the streets or slippers will do during the monsoon for rainwater soaking into socks and shoes makes it difficult to walk around.

2. Break the ice

A cheerful Hi or smile doesn't cost anything but will go a long way to break the ice for a snippet of conversation with classmates about anything and everything, about the city new to you or hang out spots. Casually ask for a conversation at the canteen or restaurants. Walk up to teachers and introduce yourselves or ask for help about the subjects. Always walk to them in the campus and strike a conversation. Trust me, it really helps. My teachers have always supported me and can't repay what they have done for me by going out of the way. Honor them during Teacher's Day and a small token never harms. 

3. Chilled Space

Don't overdo things or go over the top to be accepted by your class mates in class or campus. It's a very simple rule: Wear your heart on the sleeve and be yourself. The ones who matter will accept you in the group and those who don't will not, no matter how much you turn into someone else. Read, attention seeker. Be chilled, relax and comfortable. Being friendly and helpful to others matters the most. There must be days when you are clueless looking for the class or fishing for the timetable but being easy going or of a helpful nature will make others warm up to you and offer help. 

Be open to make friends and understand the culture of locals.You need local friends and don't stick solely with people from your home town. You will spend the best time of life, indulging in laughter, silly pranks and adventure, laughing laugh at the movies for friends are the ones who will stand with you during the break up or days when things are gonna get tough.

4, College fest

You name it, you get it! College fests is the time where you will make loads of fun in college and is an ice breaker. It worked big time for me. I volunteered for every small things in college be it our biggest college fest, Oorja, Wallstreet at Fergusson College in Pune and what's not. It's the time when you discover yourself, helping for decorations or bonding with pals during meeting or running like crazy. You will make the most amazing friends during the college fests and just let your hair down.  I was an introvert and the college fest was the time I opened up to people. It was the best times and every year would look up for it. Be a volunteer and make memories.

5. Dating scene/home sick

There will be days when you will fall home sick and shed bucket loads of tears, waiting for that call from parents or calling from the STD-ISD booth, Don't stay alone. Socialize at hang out zones and make as many friends as you can. Be open to the dating scene and go for a fling. Trust me, it's a great buster to filter off the home sick feeling. You are embracing a new and kick ass phase in life. It's the time where we experience life in equal measure, a near perfect world and get a kick in the bum. I''ll go an extra mile and even say to explore your sexuality! 

You took a major decision to make life swing and don't let it fly away from your hand. Study, attend lectures and skip some for the best learning lesson happen with friends outside the class room. Go crazy with your date, fight out and fall in and out of love. It tastes like cherry on cake. Make sure you know everyone, be it in hostel or in college.

6. Money

You don't have a money tree. The devil of temptation lurks and you know that you cannot afford everything like the super rich dudes and babes splurging. Watch for your money the moment you withdraw at the ATM and first settle rent, grocery, prepaid mobile for college days is the time you become responsible in managing expenses. If you don't have a flat mate, look for one or two that way rent will be split. If needed, look for some extra work by doing freelancing. Nowadays, there are so many opportunities and you can turn into writer making extra 4k in a month or may be a call center job. Spend wisely and you don't need to party every Saturday night. Invite friends at home, share the costs of food and alcohol rather than blowing everything in the night club.

Ship Wreck-ed

It seems to be the season of fuck-ups! A virus and jink phase many of us going through, nearing depression. Someone getting involved with married person, fiancees breaking their engagement and pretending to be happy in front of parents, someone wanna get out of their marriage since it's not going anywhere or someone breaking up every single day with her beau only to hug the next day. The same old story, getting back to normal.

For me, it's the career which is preoccupying the mind and the whole never ending struggling phase. I hate my job but love what I do!! Respite needed. The urge to run against time to make money and adding to that, the numerous complex relationships snag we face in this crazy world. It makes me wonder what drives us so crazy in today's world that we face depression and propel us to hang on to a shoulder to cry. It's the world we live in where everything is equal to money and we gotta make it on our personal terms, no matter what it takes.

Who should take the blame? We as a society, human beings or the faulty education system which makes us ill-equipped to faced life and where we restrict ourselves solely to the rat race, gunning for excellence. It makes it difficult for us to pick our thread when we fall down. Ethics and moral values are overlooked where we justify everything that suits us. We need a shoulder to cry and provide us with temporary relief, some sexual and emotional pleasure that will hurt us in the long-run.

As human beings, we lead lonely lives and in the turbulent phase, many will not flinch from indulging in extra-marital sex or be unsure of our place in a marriage. It's this phase where we make competition the whole of our existed and lie defeated, doing things that we think is very common in life. I often wonder how we crumble and become emotional wreck at the slightest set back. We are so unprepared to deal with so many things on a professional level where stress get the better of us. The result is scary: emotional break down and heart attack.

It's just that we are running after money and to be on the top of the game, racing ahead to fight against the wheel of time. In this sheer madness, we may hurt people by forcing ourselves to relationship that ain't working and in the process, destroy lives. We put a face and compromise on our ethical and moral values/

I am yet to see a solution to see the problems we face in this crazy world. May be, quick fix where we jump into fast food relationships which is hardly a solution. Loneliness can be damaging to the self! Values are compromised. 

Perhaps, we, as human beings, need to stop for  a while so that the soul can breath free and figure out stuffs. The body may not be well-oiled and need to take rest and too much burden can wreck life. I am not judging what we get into but am unable to find an answer. Should we quit and abandon our dreams and happiness in a job or relationship that is draining us? At times, I lack the courage to do things the way I want it to be and feel older than a 70-year-old. In that way, our elders were way better than us by living a simple life and having control on their lives. I need an answer that is fast, super efficient and rationale.

Why do couples fight?

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The big Q: After the honeymoon, the honey sword. It's pretty obvious that after you are set in a relationship, difference of opinion are bound to crop up coz we are different individuals with different thinking process. It leads to an ugly turn when the ego overrides the self and the love.
Be it regular boyfriend and girl friend, married couples and live-in partners, we do fight and many times it takes an ugly turn and goes from healthy discussion to bitter fight. The main reason is: the moolah or what we call the M-factor-paisa bole toh money... Show me the money,honey!!
Dating tip you pay on the first day and as the relationship progresses, you splurge all your money on her buying her goodies, jewellery and branded stuffs.Then, at some point you go dutch and she pays your coffee at Starbucks. You lose your job and she pays for your expenses. Then, your ego can't digest the fact that your lady love is paying for you. The first crack in the relationship is felt and it turns ugly.
On one hand there are your friends who always complain that since you guys are together you are not giving them time. Point blank: You are confused. After all, these guys and gals were there for you and how you balance, dear girlfriend and your mates. If you are a live-in couple or married dude, you invite them to your duplex for drinks and it becomes a weekly session. She feels neglected and tells you that they are entering her space. Before it turns ugly, strike a balance. Make them understand that your pals have always been there for you and at the same time you care for her. Always surprise her with flowers and plan a surprise holiday. Involve her with your mates. This always works. Better still, invite your pals at a time where you are not invading each other's space. Most importantly, encourage her to bring her friends home. In that way she won't feel left out.
I have observed that many couples have the tendency to bring parents within the relationship. It's between you and her or him. At some point, one partner will say I don't like your parents and the other will always retort. Naturally, he or she will took offense for the other not liking the parents. It's only natural to have a like or dislike for someone. We are all human beings. But as long as we love each other why bring parents in the relationship. At the same time, it's his or her parents and you cannot stop them from loving the ones who gave birth and education to them. The best thing is be ready to accomodate the parents if they are coming down. Just try to be nice and who knows you guys might click!! Trust me it will make a difference to him or her and the love bond will grow stronger. As it is you are not going to stay with the parents forever. Give him or her space to be with the parents and don't interfere if you can't be nice.
After a certain number of years of being together, both of you are bound to take things lying down. I mean a relationship can get bored at some point or the other. Both of you are professionals and spend time with your colleagues and a certain amount of attraction to some other person might crop up. This happens when couples take each other for granted. The fun is missing and you no longer go on long drive. Even the sex becomes mechanical. You are become so used to each other that even a small gesture of saying I love you or surprising her with flowers is ignored. In the process, the feeling of the other person is hurt and this is how couples break apart.

The most important thing in a relationship is the C-word. C-for communication is ignored and gives way by C-for conflict. Many couples who indulges into dirty fight often do not communicate with each other after a fight. They behave like complete strangers in the weirdest possible manner.It's a simple trick: Shed your ego and all you need to is talk and talk as if nothing happened. Na gila na Shikwa:)

Love is not enough

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Rajveer and Sunaina were childhood lovers and madly in love with each other. Rajveer worked as an assistant film director in Mumbai and Sunaina worked worked for a PR firm. They were in a live in relationship since both feel that with their career,they were not ready to take a plunge with marriage and kids.
One fine day, the film company spoke to Rajveer that they are downsize their staff and he had to look for work else where. Their last film didn't do well at the box office and with the recession hitting the film industry financers were less willing to invest in their major productions. He tried to looking for jobs with other producers but failed to get any break. Sunaina was willing to help him since they couldn't do without each other.Over time,Rajveer grew more frustrated since his girl friend was feeding him. He withdrew from everyone and eventually met some guys and gals. He came home late,drunked. They started fighting a lot in the house and it would raise an alarm among neighbours.Sunaina became so fed up that one fine day he asked him to leave the house since she was the one who earns and pay the bills,including the rent. Bas!This was the end of it. During the night,she started crying and trying to understand who cast an evil spell on their beautiful live and why things had to be so cruel.
Enter the new Managing Director, Piyush Shah and Sunaina was made the head of PR and they started meeting each other and she found a good listener in him.Once after the party, it was raining heavily and to avoid the heavy lash of rains,Sunaina invited Piyush to stay over. Something brought them together and they couldn't stop together on the moment. They kissed and made love to each other. Rajveer was to be forgotten,she reasoned with herself. she had to erase him from her mind. She wished him well in life. She knows it hurts.Two years later,Sunaina married Piyush.
The big question is:Is love enough for a couple to be with each other. In the start, everything seems so beautiful,flowers,chocolates,kissing and sex. And as in Turning 30,Gul Panaag rightly says,Just because I am sleeping with you that doesn't mean that we will marry.The point here is not that Sex and marriage or live-in are complements to each other. What I mean to say there are many factors which comes in play in a couple relationship. There are career clashes,the choice to have children or not,professional clashes and of course,the money factor. By professional clash I mean,in fields such as films,ad world or media, sometimes one or both of them will come home very late or is the other person willing to accept it.Very few will and I'm happy to be among the few. Or, when you spend the major part of your life with colleagues at work,there are obviously some spark and you might end up falling in love.Fatal attraction!Of course, we cannot provide a generalisation to the picture.
An important factor in a relation is money.The M-Thing,big bucks or simply moolah.No matter how much you love each other,the differences will crop and many times it comes in the form of the necessary evil. For how long,can one of the partner afford to give his or her better half the hard-earned money.It crops up especially when one of the partner is not working or is struggling to find a job.It requires a lot of understanding and patience. A wise couple should not let the moolah factor affect a relationship and both must pool money together to run the house.If one partner is footing the electricity,food bills,the shopping and rent stuffs must be managed by the other one.Or,as we used to do in college paying half for almost everything,including the rent.
Love itself is not enough for a relationship to work out. The couple should not think that everything is rosy with romance,sex and flowers.Especially when you guys stay together,better speak about the money factor and I would advice that try taking very less money from each other for personal uses such as going out,cigarettes or shopping.If you,it makes sense to give the money back and keep your relationship going. A relationship requires a lot of understanding and compromise on many things that matter such as career,friends and even sex. It's way beyond love and more than the L-factor, the U-understanding factor stands out.Indeed,Love is not enough.
Cheerio
Wish you all an awesum friday