2013-07-12

Going Solo in la-la-land


 Once lived a prince alone in his royal abode. He rode his horse solo as he hopped towards the mountains and the lake to drink water. Our prince choose to live on his own without servants and a Queen who would support him in every moment of life. The prince was the subject of conversation among his people who would debate why he choose not to marry and how somebody so handsome can live alone. They said their prince leads a sad life, others showed sympathy to him while some ridiculised him and was made the butt of practical jokes. Unfazed by concerns over his solo run, the prince was not only to buckle under pressure and be concerned, he cherished his independence and live happily alone ever-after.
Are you the prince or princess who live alone and without a partner? You don't need to freak out if you live a solo and unmarried existence coz you have company. It's not a matter of concern if you have decided not to get married and people over the globe are happily unmarried. Time is changing, society is witnessing a trend where working professionals and fiercely independent men and women are embracing solitary existence with gusto. The daring men and women find accomplishment in being alone and a sign that the new generation refuse to bow down to social stigma, aspersions cast on their character or prejudicial remarks passed. I mean, marriage is a personal choice and why should we follow a trend of getting married and bearing children? My point is the choice to live alone has nothing to do with depression, being and feeling lonely as well as social isolation. Let's not confused these terms with living alone in life. It has nothing to do with happiness.
I am not married and haven't dated for a very long time. Yeah, I live with my mom and not a partner but I cherish my life since I don't consider marriage to be a feat. I am a working professional who is on a sabbatical break and am someone who derive joy as a media professional and in writing blogs, poems and short stories.
I believe that living my own and taking the soloist route afford me the creative freedom to indulge in stuffs that I cherish. I love writing in a creative freedom where I am cut off from the whole and, perhaps, leading a married life would have rendered the writer in me redundant. I write best when the whole world is asleep where there is minimal noise. I shrug when I imagine a context that I am married with kids round around the house. I am someone who cherish my independence and adore my own private space. The space that I have in my life bolster free and creative thinking in an arena that I claim to be solely mine. Happiness is not derived from tying the knot but rather indulging in my own treat where I constantly strive to derive emotional fulfillment.
I am enjoying every moment of life where I can churn out my future plans and I am considering re-locating to Mumbai where my professional aspirations would be fulfilled to the hilt. Had I been a married person with kids, I would have thought before considering moving to the city that I absolutely adore. Kids and wifey would have to be considered and perhaps they would be reluctant to see me move faraway from them. Is it considered to be selfish to live alone and on my own terms? I am afraid it's not since there is nothing wrong in dreaming and nurturing aspirations for self-growth. Another way to look at things is to consider the mindset that one should get married so as not to feel lonely in life. For me, this is selfishness since we are pouring excess baggage on the person that we intend to marry since we need somebody to share our anger and frustration.
I am Single but Not Lonely. I can vouch for that since I have a huge network of friends and choose to be happy in the path I have undertaken in life. I don't suffer from chasm of emotional downturn and depression. In fact, going solo in my case is a tale of emotional accomplishment as it shows signs of cultural tolerance and security in life. It is a good that with globalization, people are increasingly tolerant of people who live alone and who are witnessing a spurt in self-growth as a person. As a society, we need to be more open about the concept of living alone.
Yes, it is also true that perhaps we have grown accustomed to live alone and we are unwilling to upset this emotional and personal balance in our life. But, it's not just that for a singleton and the whole idea goes beyond this balance in life as living alone help us to treasure our time and space in an increasingly competitive world. What matters is our journey to seek fulfillment as we speak to the soul who guide us in this beautiful journey of life.
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Nevertheless, what bugs us the most when relatives and friends quizzes us on the our reasons for being and living soloist. First things first, we don't need your sympathy and being alone doesn't mean that we are unhappy. To the contrary, we are perhaps more happy that the married couple who keep bickering about things. The most irritating factor is when somebody who is tying the knot come and tell us, hope you find somebody. Fuck! I am not looking to find somebody and I am very happy leading this life out of choice and not compassion. Thus, living alone means embracing the modern values of an ever-evolving and complete control over my life and the search for solitude and mental peace-the latter are two things that I value a lot along with my independence as a person. I am not the only one to tread on this route and more and more people are treading the path, faraway from the conservative mindset as well as religious hypocrisy of mainstream society. We also strengthen our relationship with family and friends in a competent and fresh manner. Living alone is a choice and not a matter of compulsion. Trust me, it's the happiest moment of my life where I am able to strike an almost perfect and stable emotional balance.
However, I don't mean to say that I won't settle in life and live with somebody. Who knows what the future hold! Till then, my life is like the solo prince who is happy to do his own things by humming the song of life and enjoy oodles of happiness at every moment of life. Ready to join the club of soloists?! Membership is free of charge and we don't charge a penny. No age restriction as well.


PS: The post was inspired from article that appeared in Times Life, Sunday April 14-Times of India/Sunday Times supplement, interview of Eric Klinenburg author of Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone. I couldn't resist the entire prospect of blogging about it.

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