Conversation with an imaginary son

"Don't irritate, yaar. I will be compelled to call your mom right now."
He continues throwing the tennis ball on the sofa. I pretend to ignore his antics and how I wish the wife would have taken this six-year old along to her office.
"Listen! Dude! Go and watch your super hero film inside and let me work on my lap-top. I need to send my stories to office. Listen! Now! If you behave, I promise to take you to the mall.
"Okie! Thank you, Papa."
How I wish he would stop calling me Papa. I prefer the dude and am actually praying that he grows up fast so that we can shoot him to some far away place for higher studies or he finds himself a girl friend. Gosh! Kids are cute but the moment they start behaving my God.
I gotta finish the work as the wife will come with the boisterous lil' devil, yeah, the daughter. She keeps yelling and gives me such a headache. The wife will nicely kiss me like a kid so that I look after the two lil' demons.
I concentrate and hear some noise bugging me. It's the devil watching movie at full volume. Kids, I tell you and how I wish they never grow up. Actually, there is no point telling this smart devil to lower the volume and lemme me put some music with ear phone on.
Tap..tap tap..Cool! The work is done..sigh! One hour and can't hear him. Okie! lemme go and check him out. He has reduced the volume of his movie.
I knock on the door, "Hey! Can I come in lil monster?"
"Of course, you can Papa."
"So, do you have a girl friend?"
He looks at me showing a wicked smile, "Actually, I like a girl at school and I've dropped my phone number on her table. But, she has not called. I mean, how did you woo girls when you were my age?"
"Naughty boy! I didn't woo girls when I was ten. Guess, your generation is fast and in five years, you must be leading an active sexual life."
"Not in five years, Papa! Now only."
I am horrified, "What the.."
"Fuck, Papa."
"What, you swearing at your father?"
Nopes, I am only completing the sentence."
Ok! Do your home work and we will go to the mall. On the way, we will pick up your mom and sister. One more thing: I will give you some tip to woo that girl but promise you will not tell anything about our harmless conversation to your mom and sister."
"Promise Papa,"
He looks so cute and innocent when he smiles like this. I hug him.

PS: I am actually wondering on what I would tell my son one day if I reaches there. Just a figment of an imaginary conversation with an imaginary son but guess, I was speaking to my other self."

Have a lovely Monday

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