Dear Barack (Sirrr!!!)
I know what you are thinking about your India visit, gushing at Lal Qila and India Gate. You must be biting your nails and curse yourself, wishing that you could have learned dancing to match steps with a Malaika Arora Khan type figure. Heard last last visit, young chillars' gave you a run for your money.
Aha! Speaking of money. Did you brought a gunny sack of money, doling out kindness to India!!!! I know, there is nothing called a free meal in the world, certainly with the likes of Uncle Sam. It's a deal with Modi-Ji, your new chaddi Buddy aur Langotya Yaar. Yeh Dosti Hum Nahin Todenga. Barack (Sirr!!!) I am talking bout the nuke deal aur Chai pe Charcha with Narendra, the renewed friendship. See!! Modi-ji called you by the first name that I thought for a while that you were twins, separated at birth. You know the story, right! Pardon my indulgence, for addressing you as Barack, adding a Sir. Protocol held. Two brothers separated by the railway track to find each other in the anti-climax. You fight, deny him visa and then kiss and make up. After all, Bade bade deshon mein, Aise choti choti Baatein Hoti Rehte Hain, Senorita. Right, Barack (Sir). You've melted the heart of our desi, Raj. Shah Rukh Khan is like that only, he woos hearts in true King Khan Size.
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Confused over lost brothers tale. Koi Baat Nahin! You can rent out our 70s Hindi movies DvD's, Lamboo-ji double roles will do the trick for you. You must be missing India, big time, Barack (Sirrrr!!!!) I know, I know. In India, we do Mehmaan Nawaazi perfectly. Barack Devo Bhava. See, you are our new God, adding you to the zillion Gods we worship. One more!! No tension, Barack Sirjee. Our country love everything AmriCan, the politicians, goodies, accents and green cards. Who doesn't want them all in the bag of goodies. Of course, your dollars to pay for our king-sized burgers and Pizzas.
You are a true blue Amreecan, Barack Yes We Can!!!. Before saying Alvida to us, you didn't forget to play a pound fist by gently chiding India over Ghar Waapsi campaign. A respect for all religions and ethnicity is what we need. Sad na that it's always a foreigner who will teach us the basics. A true Ghar Waapsi on your part. Like they say, Haas Haas ke Majaa Lete hain.
Speaking of Dosti and new found Yaarana, Barack (Sir!!) and your new found Kabbadi dost, our dear PM, Narendra Modi must be in for a sequel. See! You know our KJO, Karan Johar who doesn't have anything to do right now. What!! You didn't have Koffee with Karan or met him to discuss his fixation with K....Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, Kabhie Alvida Na Kehna, Kabhie Khushi Kabhie Gham. See, the poor guy is outta work. He sit through All India Bakchod to roast celebs. Sad that KJO couldn't roast you. Chale Saath Saath with Modi-ji for climate change. I'm telling you it's heating up: How about giving fodder to the unemployed Karan of Dharma Productions for a new version of Bromance between you and Modi-Ji.
I am just thinking of a third version of Dostana, starring Narendra Modi and his brother Barack. Worry not, KJO will do all the scripting and your penchant for your fashion icon, NAMO. After all, you can give him some work to do, poor boy, roaming aimlessly, on the street of Mumbai doing the Salsa, roasting celebs.
You wanna an anti-climax, no problem!! Our neighbor is just up our arses, like you pronounce in Amreeka. KJO will make them the villain. Remember your goodies worth million for guns to combat terrorism. Your pact with India for payback. How cool an idea?
As it is, Pakistan is already fuming on your visit, Barack Sirr!!! India UN Security council Permanent seat, you are already gunning for your new found dostana with Indian PM.Bechara Pakistan Government is fuming over our growing clout in the region, courtesy Barack (Sir!!) bada Dil aur Dosti. What a 500-crores story idea, this would be, Barack Sir!!!! New found love, bromance and a common enemy over Nuke deal and UN permanent seat. I tell you, a blockbuster from Neta to Abhineta.
Toh Baat Pahki Samaj le over Bromance, N-Deal and dollars!!! Did you click the selfie with your Yaar to show the daughters? Dekh Betiyon Dekh...my selfie with your new found uncle. Do they refer to Namo Chachu at the White House?
Dear Barack (Sir!!!!!) Till we meet again in Dilli for some Dilwallahs moments, Namaskar Pyar Bhara Namaskar.
Barack Devo Bhava