2014-12-29

2015 is Ghar Waapsi, a blend of 'New' Year cocktail

Mommy Returns, Bhootnath Returns and Singham Returns need to take a leaf since we are minutes and seconds away from the good ole’ Sanskari days. It’s called, ‘Ghar Waapsi’ at the stroke of midnight. The RSS is hitting their stomach with a bang doing bang bang for their success in the scripted blockbuster ‘Ghar Wapsi.’ An anti-dote to the modern day of Ramayana-move over The Secrets of Nagas’  to convert and re-convert ‘Hindus’ coz India is a Hindu state first, NO.
Swacch Bharat re-plugged with the meteoric rise of extreme right ‘Hindu’ fundamentalists. It should be the dhamakedaar dialogue of the year ‘Ghar Waapsi.’ Time to move over ‘Ache Din’ and ‘Ab Aahi Gaye Modi Sarkar’, it’s Ghar Wapsi piping Modi one-liners to the post.
Last heard, the RSS Walon is planning to welcome the year clinking cocktail glasses with a Dharna a la Kejriwal, asking PM Modi to ban all social networking sites like Facebook and, of course, whatsapp since it’s a by-product of western culture infiltrating India and polluting young minds. The likes of Sunny Leone and Sherlyn Chopra will soon be out of work as skin showing will flow out of the window and will be invited to embrace Sanyasi in Ashrams. The kissing Babas will fall sway to the perfume of spirituality as their lotus feet will be the solace for the damsels in distress.
This is true Ghar Waapsi, according to spoke people of the Shakha. There will be a police ban on erotic movies and illegal viewing of pornography-cum-intimate materials on websites and magazines. You know why? Because, some spiritual people have just discovered a ‘scientific fact’ that sexual performance decreases mental concentration and reduces life span.
A new law is in the offing: Every male must deposit their sperms with the Government and will be rationed on demand to procreate because ‘Ghar Waapsi’ will be the buzz of 2015. We are in for a huge revolution in India to clean our great culture of all evils, perpetrated by man-kind.
HRD Minister and Yale’d,  Smriti Irani will announce a pet project in all schools and colleges, ‘Kyon Ki Sanskari Kabhi Bhi Hindustani Sabyata Tha’. Our text books will contain only scriptures of Ramayana, encouraging every child to be a pious Hindu and Non-Hindus to convert in truly ‘Ghar Waapsi’ fashion. Failure to do so will entail that our children will not be allowed to take exams or will get a zero note.
It’s the award of the year to take the pie. The ‘funtoons’ in real life are jumping the fray, fighting  and kicking each other a la Bum Be Laat to take the award home. The 2014 Award of the year goes to: Baba Ramdev, for saving Hindu religion from PK. Next in line: Rashtriya Sevak Sangh and Vishwa Hindu Parishad slugging it out at No. 2. Wait, we are not done. The outsider, Shiv Sena is sending a rocket: daring PM Modi to capture Dawood in an Osama-like operation. Who will make 31st December their’s? Your take and don’t forget to put all your money on the dark horse. Nostradamus has just failed.
Whipped a freezy ice-cream, pour some liquor to trade New Year Eve and ushering in brand new 2015 filled with idiosyncrasies coz 2015 gonna be a super- hot and spicy year with phunny one-liners, endorsed by our politicians and religious men to beat each other. So much for the lime light!
Happy New Year 2015
Char Botal Vodka
Vishal
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