2015-08-23

RIP Porn the Ban


Subjects should never trust their Government! Hum Rankh woh Raja, it's the stark reality. I almost jumped with joy to make killing on the market when the porn ban was announced. I was on the verge of writing porn in protest against the ban to make the moolah. They made a U-turn to snatch my Rozi Roti.
Porn ban in India
Image credit: Google/Reuters
Ab yeh Rosie kaun hai! A birdie tells me her name sake was Mr Bachchan, secretary, in the golden days when PR was an unheard breed snatching the Roti of secretaries and us, journalists, lame attempt to snatch our bread-and-butter. See! My female character in my best-selling porn book would have been Rosie. I'd made a killing on the market, a breather to the sex and porn-starved men and women. I never became the savior for those poor species. The angry young man, re-incarnated by Yours truly, to save the people from the ruthless Thakur. I curse my Kismet. What a destiny I have! The Government has just thrown lathi on my peth. Yeh kya hua! Kaise Hua! Kab Hua! Kyon Hua!
Slap stick comedy going on, I tell you! Tu tu mein mein. Porn the Ban, Ban the Porn and it makes a comeback. Reason why! They tell you they can't control everything. A tale of death defying gravity and Issac Newton would be fuming in paradise. How they badly wanna wake up Newton uncle from his slumber, thinking he is Kumbhakarna!
Hey!! Was our man Kumbhakarna watching porn in his free time? Now, my silly mind is going havoc wondering how he was watching it and where he rented the DVDs, chupke chupke se. After all, it's a matter of aesthetic taste and Sunny Leone must be relieved for not going out of work and considering playing Radhey Maa on-screen. Babe! She has just been saved from going Dharmic when the likes of Malika Sherawat are out of work. Wonder what Giriraj Chauhan has to say about it! Aha! Was the FTII chairman planning to make good cinema by getting inspiring? Porn the Ban. What a market for us to become the biggest producer of Porn!! Censor board would have so much work to do, actively banning porn.
Image credit: http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/
We love muzzling voices, isn't it and banning everything that moves. Nopes! Beef on the plate doesn't move, couples having sex..do they get an orgasm of sort barging in rooms or what? Ban the Porn before doing a volte face. Ab kya karenge mein after removing the ban on porn? What shall I write? Hawan Karenge Karenge! I'll start writing books on Dharma, preaching wearing a saffron robe. I tell you, there are lots of money in that. Donning the mantle of a Swami, sprinkling blessing and what I do inside my prayer room is not for you to know! After all, there is no dearth of sexy Kanya as I try a Krishna. Nopes, don't get ideas for I know it's my dirty imagination at play or yours. Remember, Swami Nithyananda. 
I better do, Kapal Bharti for peace and Mann ki shanti. Forget about my porn adventure for the dream has broken into small pieces and shattered by the Government. Are Sarkar! Why do you give me false hope and let me dream. I better upload peeps smart phones with soft porn and erotic love in exchange for few 100 bucks. Koi bata de how do I make money now.

RIP Porn Ban
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