Bol Radha Bol!!

Now, who can say that one day, Sunny Leone will go out of job in times of recession? Sunny and her ilk can re-invent herself when her jawani goes out of toss. No, the Leone Babe doesn't need to go bald for that, even if she does, there are so many things she can do.

Image credit: Radhey Maa on Google

Let me think for a minute! Like playing Radha! Yeps, tube light moment..playing Radhey Maa that Radhey herself has immortalized, doing a double swing like Hema Malini in Seeta aur Geeta and Sridevi in Chalbaaz. A modern version would be Tanu Weds Manu Returns.

Bol Radha Bol 2.0, Radha on the dance floor reloaded, what options is Radhey Maa offering to heroines whose careers will soon dip. From Baby Doll to Dharmic Doll, Maa spreads Bhakti and Shakti all over. Now, Shakti Kapoor stop peeping through the hole, wearing saffron Kurta! 

Radhey Maa on the reality show and swinging to the tune of Karan Johar on Jhalak Reloaded is a winning proposition to push the show's TRP. One hour full blast of Bhakti dance, Tandav and Radha on the dance floor, likes to party. It will be mother of shows, I tell you. Radhey Maa will tie Rakhi on your wrist, aooo!! From Lolita to Radhey Maa. What a jodi and super hit combo that would the silver screen, Shakti Kapoor and Radhey Maa!
Our new age Maa, gives darshan in the day and dances to her tune, wearing lal lal during the night. Ah! The devotees who hug and carry her like a child, must be reveling in ecstasy witnessing their favorite Maa's new found celebrity status. Twiterrazi must be having a field day like Yusuf Pathan. Kitna pyari Bachi hai, Achiko Bachiku sab se pyari hai Radhey Munni tu.

Blessing doled out all over the place and this Maa is the dowry Maa. Move over Lalita Pawar folks and her atrocity wrecked on-screen Bahus. Just imagining if Radhey Maa had bahus, how would she treat them!Their punishment would be to sit for long hours in Pravachan and sing for her in shopping malls, clapping hands, while she would gyrate to chart busters.
Heard Subhash Ghai take her blessing before releasing his latest movie!! Just wondering what must be her age when Kalicharan, Ram Lakhan and Taal released!! In any case, she must be a Maa in progress and growing up like the software we install on the laptop. Mere do anmol ratan, ek hai ram ek hai lakhan, Radhey Maa must be singing and swooning. Bole toh, ek dum blockbuster Maa hai yeh Radhey.
A Maa as cute as Radhey gives complex to Deepika's dimple and Katrina's lachak, Chikni Chameli ya My name is Radhey, Radhey ki bhakti. Now, I am thinking, how I should change my career and turn into saint, a Baba sitting under the shade of a Peepal tree, reading destiny and running away with loads of rupaiyas. See, Radhey Maa is such an inspiration and I'll become a millionaire chutki me. After all, who wants to watch AB in KBC to become Crorepathi when Radhey Maa is here.
Bol Radha (ey) tune yeh kya kiya.

V

RIP Porn the Ban

Subjects should never trust their Government! Hum Rankh woh Raja, it's the stark reality. I almost jumped with joy to make killing on the market when the porn ban was announced. I was on the verge of writing porn in protest against the ban to make the moolah. They made a U-turn to snatch my Rozi Roti.

Image credit: Google/Reuters

Ab yeh Rosie kaun hai! A birdie tells me her name sake was Mr Bachchan, secretary, in the golden days when PR was an unheard breed snatching the Roti of secretaries and us, journalists, lame attempt to snatch our bread-and-butter. See! My female character in my best-selling porn book would have been Rosie. I'd made a killing on the market, a breather to the sex and porn-starved men and women. I never became the savior for those poor species. The angry young man, re-incarnated by Yours truly, to save the people from the ruthless Thakur. I curse my Kismet. What a destiny I have! The Government has just thrown lathi on my peth. Yeh kya hua! Kaise Hua! Kab Hua! Kyon Hua!

Slap stick comedy going on, I tell you! Tu tu mein mein. Porn the Ban, Ban the Porn and it makes a comeback. Reason why! They tell you they can't control everything. A tale of death defying gravity and Issac Newton would be fuming in paradise. How they badly wanna wake up Newton uncle from his slumber, thinking he is Kumbhakarna!

Hey!! Was our man Kumbhakarna watching porn in his free time? Now, my silly mind is going havoc wondering how he was watching it and where he rented the DVDs, chupke chupke se. After all, it's a matter of aesthetic taste and Sunny Leone must be relieved for not going out of work and considering playing Radhey Maa on-screen. Babe! She has just been saved from going Dharmic when the likes of Malika Sherawat are out of work. Wonder what Giriraj Chauhan has to say about it! Aha! Was the FTII chairman planning to make good cinema by getting inspiring? Porn the Ban. What a market for us to become the biggest producer of Porn!! Censor board would have so much work to do, actively banning porn.

Image credit: http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/

We love muzzling voices, isn't it and banning everything that moves. Nopes! Beef on the plate doesn't move, couples having sex..do they get an orgasm of sort barging in rooms or what? Ban the Porn before doing a volte face. Ab kya karenge mein after removing the ban on porn? What shall I write? Hawan Karenge Karenge! I'll start writing books on Dharma, preaching wearing a saffron robe. I tell you, there are lots of money in that. Donning the mantle of a Swami, sprinkling blessing and what I do inside my prayer room is not for you to know! After all, there is no dearth of sexy Kanya as I try a Krishna. Nopes, don't get ideas for I know it's my dirty imagination at play or yours. Remember, Swami Nithyananda. 

I better do, Kapal Bharti for peace and Mann ki shanti. Forget about my porn adventure for the dream has broken into small pieces and shattered by the Government. Are Sarkar! Why do you give me false hope and let me dream. I better upload peeps smart phones with soft porn and erotic love in exchange for few 100 bucks. Koi bata de how do I make money now.

RIP Porn Ban

V