2014-01-10

Divorcing over Sushi: Episode 3

Infinity Mall, Andheri, 2010
A huge crowd swarmed to Gold Adlabs to catch the evening show of Luck by Chance starring Farhan Akhtar and Konkona Sen. I was smoking outside the mall and, on an impulse, decided to go on third floor to grab a coffee at CCD and do some time pass..admiring the chicks and hanging around. I love hanging at malls just for the sake of killing time and the pleasing crowd indulging in noisy bentering and laugh at the food court and outside the multiplex.
I was bored to the hilt and constantly checking the time on my handset. It's just that I didn't know how to kill time and didn't want to go home since Mom is bugging me with Sharma-ji ki beti. Honestly speaking, I'm so tired that someone called Prachi is a software engineer from United States and is the only daughter of Sharma-ji who owns an expensive flat in Bandra. Sharma-ji has promised to give his future son-in-law the flat as wedding gift..read dowry and a Skoda car. Frankly, I couldn't care less despite I am using a borrowed grey Maruti Swift which I consider mine since I use it most of the time. And! Dowry..well, I don't wanna start with my rebellious views and screw my own mood. I decided to catch Luck By Chance to kill time and wish that the Sharma and his daughter and, of course, Maa's discourse are kept at bay. I needed a break very badly.
I was munching pop corn throughout the movie and keep toggling with my cellphone, playing games, checking sms and the time. I was enjoying the moving but was growing restless since I wanted to storm my way outside the theater. I just spotted her in the front row. As the movie ended, I hushed my way outside, leaning my back to the food counter and gazing at the crowd coming out of the theater. I saw her coming out and pretending to check my cellphone. I followed her through my right eye and saw her approaching me, "Hey!!! What you doing here?"
I pretended to be confused and almost shrieked, "Sushmita."
"Thank God! You remember your savior from the fateful day when you were drunk. Are you sloshed?"
"Haha! Vey funny."
She just asked me out for coffee, "Let's go and have coffee. You pay this time."
I responded, "Is it a date?"
"Hmm! I am just interesting to study the psychology of people who cannot stand on their feet and who kisse someone in their own house."
""Listen! I am really sorry, okie. It's just that I just broke up and...," I lied.
"...you just grab someone and kiss."
I kept mum.
"So.......," I try to break the silence.
"So? What!!!!, she looks scandalized.
"Are you seeing someone?" I asked shamelessly.
She avoided my question, "What's your age?"
Is this an answer to my question?"
Well! I asked your age and why you behaving like a coy bride?"
"26"
"Dude! I'm 30."
I played around, 'What age got do it with love?"
"Listen, I asked for coffee and that doesn't mean that I am in love with you and want to sleep with you. By the way, I am not seeing anybody for your kind information. I mean, I was but the jerk turned out to be a an asshole, a bloody chutiya."
She signals that she has to go and picked her bag. As she was leaving, I called out, "Angry young woman, leave your number before going....."
She turned back, "Give me a miss call on 9822............I'll be waiting, kid."
What the fuck? She just called me a kid like an ageing aunty showering some motherly affection. We spent the nights speaking on the phone and chatting for long hours. Something was brewing between us as she was sending me some naughty sms-es. I wondered whether it was some signal. We were spending time together, partying, bonding over coffee date and catching the latest Hindi movies together, holding hands. We were in love and it took a while for both of us to accept since we knew for sure that our egos is bottling our feelings.
One night we partied with some of her common friends and one of her best friend, Kriti, dragged me along on the pretext of a dance. "Dude! She is in love with you and what are you waiting for to propose?" I was confused. I mean, I know we are dating. Both of us know that we've been seeing each other and indulging in normal kissing. Kriti pointed me towards Sushmita who was sitting in the lounge and having Vodka shots. Kriti threw me out of the dance floor and I walked towards Sushmita. She was having Vodka shots and munching 'Sushi'. Oh! Somebody, please save me!!! I hate Sushi and forced to have a bite. "Hey! Have some," she put some in my mouth.
I held her by the waist and smooched her, "Baby! I love you." She yelled and hugged me, "Wow! You just proposed to me." Sushmita was laughing loudly and start shouting to everyone, "He just proposed to me."
My stupid family has started making my life hell with marriage proposals and it's the time we decided to move together. Mom and Dad made some drama of 'Log kya kahenge' with me moving with my girl friend in an apartment. As I was leaving with my bags, Dad said, "Adi, you are such an idiot and I don't think you know what you are doing with your life. Anyways, it's your decision."
I stood up to dad and managed to say, 'Thank you Dad and I'm adult enough to decide what to do with my life. As I walked out past the door, I overheard Mom, the drama queen shouting loudly to Dad in Punjabi how worthless I am and don't care about the family honor.
One fine day, Sushmita popped the much dreaded question wedding on the day she resigned as a journalist for the Mumbai tabloid, Daily News. I am clueless why the newspaper is called Daily News since it's less about news but more about sensation, celebrity gossips. I was taken aback by the question and the shouts of Mom, straight from the Ekta Kapoor' saas-bahu was racing in my mind. I am screwed and was thinking what to tell my parents. After all, her Dad is Sikh which should not be a problem but her mom is a Bong. Our upright Singh family hate the Bongs like hell. Now, I need to overcome drama queen at home. I decided to spend my time watching some Saas-Bahu serials to coax my parents for us to marry. As if it was not enough, Sushmita's staple food in the kitchen, 'Sushi' is bugging me or is it the other way round. I am clueless.
Sushmita was waiting for my answer, "Hell! I am waiting for an answer from a man with whom I am sharing my house, bed and body with. Why do you need so much time to think about marriage? Baby, don't tell me you have a phobia of committing yourself. Certainly, you are not Salman Khan."
I lit a cigarette. "Sush! Let me think and I am not running away for fuck sake. I am thinking how to convince my parents and you know how they are. Now, will you stop being after my neck and lemme think how do we go about," I defended myself.
I was thinking how the odds are laid against me..her age, not that it matters to me but our conservative parents and her Bengoli-Sikh blood."
She interrupted, "Okay! Let me convince my parents and you speak to your mom and dad. Do I take yes for a committed answer?" she asked impatiently.
Now, I was getting all hyper and extremely worked out. "Yes, baba. Yes!," I felt like being hit by a snipper in a war-zone situation. Time to get ready for some real action and family dram in my live soap opera called my life and my marriage. 
I closed my eyes and dozed off without realizing that Sushmita was lying by my side on the bed. I didn't even say good night to her and I'm sure she is majorly pissed off. Cuddling before sleeping, sweet good night make her world go round.
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