Sunday reflection: Upclose and personal

I am going nuts with work. It's crazy. The time where you feel like hanging the head in a gun sack to hide. The corporate's client magazine is coming and still waiting for the interviews that are taking its sweet time to reach your mailbox. It seems that the contacts have forgotten that you exist and that you are some UFO looming large in their lives. The waiting time is ongoing and the deadline is fast approaching.

There are so many things to manage and yet there is less time on one's side. The downside of being a PR consultant and of course, as Monday kicks off, the blues will seep in with a pending article that I need to buckle the mind to write for the website that I work for, the weekly news stuff that I do for one of our clients and, of course, another patron's event which is slated to happen on Wednesday. Time to prioritize things.

After one month break and getting back to the grind of doing the novel, it dawns upon me that the chapter that I wrapped is not really exciting. I have put it in bold and the whole chapter has to be reworked all over again when the idea struck. Grateful for the small wonders and the online world where writers' friends have come in full support. The reason that I took an extra week break from the novel is that I need to cut myself off from the characters. I was becoming too emotionally close and protecting my characters. Tuning off helps big time.

The small wonders of this world and friends who matter to one's life make everything beautiful. I am thankful for them. I remember that last week, an FB status update was posted and lamenting how I kept one day for creative work but it wasn't happening. The beauty of things unfolded when an online friend pinged me and helped to surmount the mental block. I was hard pressed by her and advised to flush every negative thought down the drain and it worked like miracle where I was able to devote four hours in covering ground and this week, the whole thing was wrapped. It's a rough review of a book. There are loads of cutting and editing that needs to be done. Sometimes, our mind behaves in a weird way where we go into a self-destructive mode by putting blocks.

It's Sunday. A friend has put a status asking if anyone wants to get a tarot card reading for free to PM. I did and in no time, she sent the read that works awesomely for the soul. It just made the day beautiful. I leaped with joy. It's such small blessings that keeps me going from strength-to-strength. It struck me how important to count every positive thing that should far outweigh the negatives in life. Reason to be more optimist.

Finally, I was able to get some pictures of my childhood scanned and saved them on the laptop before sharing some on Facebook. The memory trove that we left behind is powerful and equips one's soul with strength. There are more to scan, the college days ka pictures where I spent the flawless moments that must be saved and treasured. It's such a reminder how time flits and it feels like yesterday only that we were spending the best of times. I feel that I am forever caught in an emotional trip and time warp sort of.

August will soon come to an end and so far, it's looking good. India's Independence Day was celebrated with fervor among the expats and happy that I attended the flag raising ceremony. August 15 has always been my lucky charm and the day where I got some good news. I did this time with some extra work landing on my lap. Mother India always know how to bless her children. I shall leave you on that and post editing this post, I sit in front of Star Gold to watch Anarkali of Arah.

Much love
Vishal

Being Personal and living in the moment

It's the last day in April. It's been drizzling and the temperature has cooled down which confines me to sit at home, reading stuff and attempting a personal post on this space. The love story with books continue unabated and I just got myself Ritu Lalit's His Father's Mistress and JK Rowling's third outing, 'Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. I am back with Potter series after a couple of years and love revisiting HP that meant so much to my generation.

I didn't take part in the April A to Z challenge after three consecutive outings and it's time to pull the plugs. I had my fair share and it becomes increasingly difficult to write for every single day of my life. I am happy that I don't feel the pressure which can drain the energy. One should write when the heart is in and not force oneself. These days, meditation and yoga are very helpful to curb the depression. I can say that things are improving when I look back to the past three years where I didn't have control over my life and the mind embroiled into unwanted thoughts. I am learning to be more aware in the Power of Now that helps one to live in the moment.

It brings me to the thought that I've been mulling over for several years, shifting back to India. The only hitch is the expensive house rent in cities like Mumbai and Pune which is holding me back. It got me thinking how time is flying and not making the most of life signifies that one is losing especially when the clock doesn't stop to suit one's own fancy or plans. Sometimes, I get tired of this self-reasoning or others reminding me that things will happen on its own. No. It doesn't. One must push things and the self to the edge. As I read about the life of thespian actor Vinod Khanna who passed away last week, his colleague and friend Kabir Bedi told how he left glamor and successful stint to embrace spirituality in US. The time he decided to come back to India, he had no money and survived in a humble room. Isn't it inspiring? God bless his soul. A true legend that lives forever in our hearts like his iconic screen name Amar from Amar Akbar Anthony.

In life, we should be ready to pursue happiness and make adjustment to survive on the bare minimal to adapt to our circumstances. That how we thrive and succeed.  When I read about such things, I am like, why not get back to India since for me it equates happiness. I need to wire my brain on accepting to compromise on luxury, struggle and expect the unexpected. It can be a long time being away for 8 years and time to weigh my options, either Mumbai or Pune. The hitch in Mumbai is the expensive lifestyle but Pune wouldn't be a bad deal to start all over again. As it is, Pune will always be home to me. I am in my mid-30s and feel that time is running. I need to catch the ball, swing and throw it on life.

There are so many things running in my head which are no less than the stormy river. The good news is that this week I have been able to work on my novel and wrote thrice a week which is a positive sign. I have already chucked out half draft to restart all over again since the book has dragged for more than three years. Guess, it's better to start again with the love story set in Mumbai that I am striving to pen. The perk of being a stay-at-home with a decent earning every month helps me to work on the book and come May, I shall flesh the stuffs with specific days to write the novel, reading, and the blog. As it is, it's one of my pet peeves to do so many things in a day which can be so counter-productive where one end up not doing anything worthwhile.

Going into self-analysis mode has been one of my biggest weakness that robs me of my sleep. This week I haven't been doing so well where I ended up staying awake and tossing on the bed throughout the night. There were frustrating moments where some people made some unwanted comments and I so wanted to put them in the place where they belong. Over-thinking doesn't work for my sanity and the frustration gnaws my sense of being. It compelled me to take some sleeping pills and last night, it did wonder to me when I slept till noon. Whatta perfect way to spend the Sunday! The only hitch is that I missed watching Bahubali-The Conclusion.

Till then, see you soon and have a happy Sunday. I am gearing up for this extended holiday as Maharashtra Day being celebrated tomorrow and the country I am based, it's also May Day. Happy Maharashtra Day.

Love
Vishal

Signs of happiness

Happiness is no commodity available for sale on the shelf of the supermarket or a bartered good in exchange for a favor. It cannot be traded be it in our relationships or something else like swapping for luxury. It's about living in the Now moment and be aware of every moment in life, the deep breathing that we take, conversations that make us present or admiring nature in all its forms. In fact, it goes beyond everything during our daily interaction whether it's through the compliment we make and receive or by making a difference to someone's life by giving freely. Happiness is a Karmic thing. It often takes the form of fighting our inner demons, surmounting obstacles in life and smiling over issues that afflicts us. It's seamless and unlimited.

Image credit: Google/

For me, happiness can be as simple as helping someone and brightening up faces or enjoying a cup of chai at the tapdi. I derive utmost joy in the simple things of life or the five minutes meditation that I  make to be more aware of my soul and the surrounding. There are efforts being made to be more conscious of my human presence and that of the spiritual leaning that I am working towards. I look forward to my weekly yoga class with my Guru who teaches us the different postures, being chided for the wrong movements and working on the body exertions or limits that I lack. Surya Namaskar, for instance, has helped me to concentrate better. We are often corrected by the Master and laugh together at the smallest mistakes that we make in class. The joy is immense and cannot be quantified by money or any other form of materialistic pursuit.

I have always felt that happiness has eluded me when I look at the past struggling years and the fact that I am not able to immediately shift back to Mumbai and Pune, the cities that gave me everything in life. But, it's a a flawed yardstick for happiness is an ongoing process. My philosophy of life resumes in the organic growth in all directions and absolutely love it when life surprises me in all its forms, when I least expect things to happen. It gives me a sense of accomplishment and immense joy that words cannot express. 

As humans, we are always limited in some form or the other and it's the best that can happen to us since it sets the stage to grow and surmount obstacles that we often face. What fun if life was always a bed of roses? It would be a so boring to exist and we would content ourselves with what we have and not raising our standards at all. It's one way to look at happiness. Raising one's standard and not building expectations help us to accomplish so much in life, never abandoning in the face of defeat.

The most beautiful aspect of life happens when we face adversity in life and still we are able to sparkle faces with a smile despite our energy is sucked to the core is a sign of happiness. Our attitudes to personal tribulations and the downhill we take help to define our past, present and future is a sign of the good times or joy that will come our way. It's perfectly normal to be irritated, become dull and don an angry avatar. But, what matters is the genuineness in us which comes alive. One can claim to be truly happy when no matter how browbeaten we become, we do not become evil or negative but keep spreading smiles in our surroundings. 

Making mistakes is natural. It's one thing that we should always make and keep learning for it's a sign of joy that will manifest itself which makes us grow in its midst. The life trajectory of  a human being is about taking pride in the learning curve offered by life and always making small improvements. It's the biggest competition in life where every day we climb one small step towards human happiness.

A truly happy person is someone who will not compare itself to the world as this optimist soul believes in competing with the self every single day without putting anyone down. Personally, I believe in this quote, 'High tide lifts all boats.' It something that a truly happy person will aspire to and will never shy in helping someone in the same field. Life is not a race but a journey that we reach by uplifting others.

Our existence is like the petal that adorns every single action that we make, adding sheen to the garden of life with beauty and watering the plants that blooms every new season. We are the petal, roots and water at the same time that ushers the positive vibes of happiness at every moment in the atmosphere. We are happiness. It's a soulful experience in our quest to feel everything beautiful. After all, we are spirits that soar high in the sky to leave traces of joy in this circle that binds humans together.

With love
Vishal

Things I want to do in the next two years

 I am a procrastinator. I keep delaying thing forever.  Ultimately, nothing gets done and I keep cursing myself for that. It's Now or Never. Time to work on the very short goals, one at a time, to get things done and dusted. There are few small things that I should do and be armed with the determination to fulfill them. There is no point dilly-dallying like this. It's simple but I've made them a herculean task as if I am climbing a mountain of snow.

1. Learn driving
Driving is a necessity in today's time. It's a real shame that I am in my mid-30s and clueless about driving a car. It's a phobia that I have about driving but need to tackle and overcome it at the earliest. Come next month, I am determined to buy the rule book about the road and grab the leaner's license before steering the wheel.


2. Start saving money

I have already started on that and have an SBI account which will now be used to save money for the yearly holiday, buying the expensive iPhone and to have funds for the rainy days. I don't have any saving and last month was the first time that I transferred 2k in my second bank account. Mom keeps urging me to put some notes and coins in my piggy bank. I have also joined a life insurance scheme this month.

3. Write a poetry book

It's been a real struggle to work on my novel and it's been going on for a couple of years. It's time to give wings to my dream of being a published author and a short poetry book is very much possible.  Now, I need no lame excuse not to do it and every week, I will write a poem to get it saved on my laptop. I also have plans to revive my short stories which I wrote in a note aeon ago and need to scan them on the laptop.

4. Learn a new language

There are so many different languages which I want to learn and it's not humanly possible to do every one of them. At least, I can start with Spanish or German or fulfill the old dream of being comfortable with my Marathi which I know few basic words only. I have two books on Learning Marathi and think that I will devote one hour every fortnight, reading and taking notes.

5. Travel every year

Now, this plan seems a bit far-fetched but there is no reason that I cannot dream big on meeting new people, go on an adventurous thrill and live the life of a local in a new place. I want to travel places and discover myself as a free spirit. The hitch is that I don't have such kind of money but if there is a will, there is a way by offering my freelance services as a writing professional and saving more cash by cutting on unnecessary luxury expenses and smoking.

6. Push myself to the edge

I need to be young again and experiment with life by taking risks without being wary of the consequences, something that I haven't done in a real long time. I am scared of things and events. It's the time to overturn the tide and trust my instinct to boost my confidence. I wanna stop playing safe to uplift and empower myself.

7. Keep up to date with my diary

I have a personal diary since 2010 and need to be more regular, sharing in private and opening my heart out.  In today's stressful times, we are not shielded from a depression or emotional shake up and writing is one medium which is very therapeutic, far away from online forums such as blogs to face our identity and let the real us come alive. I promise not to miss out this wonderful companion which is the personal diary.

Ciao
Happy Sunday
Love
Vishal

What's happening on Sunday?

What's hot and happening on a lazy Sunday? It's been ages that I haven't shared tit-bits about my life on this blog. There are lots and lots and hardly anything worth telling. First thing, it's been a long time that I haven't been able to catch a movie, first, there was Rangoon and now Badrinath Ki Dulhania that I gave a miss. I was planning to go for Badrinath today when something cropped up. In fact, there is a diplomatic gathering which I gotta attend, along with a friend-cum-colleague. The movie plan stands postponed for another day and thankfully, it will be showing next week as well and post that, I have Philauri to watch.

On the work front, it's been quite busy for us with the issue of our corporate client's magazine and our deadline has shifted from Friday to Tuesday which gives me quite some time to work on the story plus doing research. Nopes, March is not as crazy as it seems to us but just a little busier on the work front. Here, hoping to bag extra contracts to make more money as a freelance communications consultant-cum-writer. Being a freelancer and stay at work professional has its own set of challenges since you are always on the lookout for more assignments beyond the fixed money that comes one's way. It's been a learning rope.

The India trip was missed as the best friend came down from Australia to get married but thankfully, he is still in Mumbai for quite some time and hopefully, will be able to hop on by saving some cash to meet him. I am longing to be in India and it's been ages that I haven't traveled. I haven't read many books since the past one month, though been reading at a slow pace Hussain Zaidi's Bombay to Bangkok, a real account of the underworld rule in the city and Barkha Dutt's This Unquiet Land. I have also received a poetry book for review from a Canadian friend and looking forward to buy the autobiographies of Shashi Kapoor and Karan Johar as a couple of film related books on Gulzar or Rekha. There are so many things to do and today was planning for Badrinath ki Dulhania and working on my book. I am unsure of both because of the event that I gonna attend late evening. I have kept a diary, scribbling things to do and it really helps in keeping a timely reminder.

I am feeling in good health and much better shape since I've been regularly practicing yoga, one-hour weekly class and thrice for 20 minutes weekly practise at home. Both meditation and yoga have helped me to stay sane, be more focused and peaceful.

Finally, I got a brand new phone and it's a white-coated Sony Experia that hit the market in 2015. I am yet to understand its entire functionality and toggling with how the whole gadget work, leaving my four-year-old HTC behind. I was planning for an iPhone but after reading online, the next edition is going to be kickass and unique for Apple 10 year anniversary. The online grapevine is that Apple is planning something big and I better settle for a cheaper one before grabbing the collector's edition. There are plans also to learn driving this year and high time to hit the cudget to learn drive a car.

It's been long that I haven't been active on the dating and mating scene. I need to date and it's something that's been missing in my life for quite some. I forget how taking someone for a date looks like and high time to pull the socks in romance matters before I fade into a UFO.

See ya soon
Ciao
Vishal

Scotch, winter, tea and June conversation

It's a lazy afternoon. The room is dim. The sky is wearing cloak of darkness. I can't bear the cold which is melting my skin to death. A cup of tea is done. A second one is on the way in another hour. It's the only saving grace to keep me warm and, of course, the Scotch. 

There are too many things to do. Projects are falling on the lap. I was done with one last week and here waiting Monday to follow developments on this count. Looking forward to a super busy week, working from home and dabbling with books, writing assignment for an Indian-based magazine in Dubai and, of course, ghost writing for a book. Creatively, it's my first mega project and it's no cake walk, to work out tiniest details with the client. At times, I dunno where to put my and feels like am sitting on a volcano, ever ready to make my ass explode in bits and pieces.

There are quite a few interesting posts that I tried to write on this blog. When I first started, the aim was to target the youth and speaking on issues that affect them, be it love, romance, sex, disappointment and what's not. Today's youth are very gullible. But, over the years, the blog made a diversion by publishing political satire, poetry and mindless stuffs. I am making an effort to stay true to the original idea of getting back to the original theme of the blog, ushering in its fifth year this November, me thinks. I am not very sure of that. 

It's the 10th post of the month. I was initially thinking of penning a short story, romance or something else but I am in a hurry and hence, unsure whether I'll be able to do justice to fiction. Better skip that and share with visitors tit bits on my life. It's been quite an eventful year, right from leaving the job, death of an elder cousin in London and struggling for money. Thankfully, June which is also the birthday month has also brought loads of luck and happy surprise. It was against all odds that I landed one-week project as a consultant which I finished. It's quite a herculean task to do something new and it's always good to learn. The money paid was good. I sought fulfilment which I derived once I was done with the project. There are some expenses that I wrapped up thankfully, loans, EMI and sundry expenses. Time to limit them but there are always temptations.

Last week, I ordered two books on Amazon, Barkha Dutt's This Unquiet Land and Salman Rushdie's Two Years, Eight Months, 28 Nights but cancelled. I was being charged a bomb. It's such a dampener to readers of good literature. Thankfully, I have the local bookshop who is ordering on my behalf for  a good price. I am dying to buy books such as Book Thief, Paulo Coelho, Bastard of Istanbul, Flea Market and many more. But, need money for that. Guess, I will buy over a couple of months. Right now, reading Farthest Field by Raghav Karnad and it's an amazing book on participation of Indian soldiers during the second world war. The description, narrative and the author's command on vocabulary makes it a riveting affair.

Time to say bye now and better get set working on stuffs for the day. I shall spend the night gulping Whisky pegs with channa and watch Euro Semis to keep the body warm.

Ciao

V