2017-12-23

Satire: Happy hour and Asanskari condom ads at 10 pm





Titillating pleasure, mental masturbation and emotional ejaculation are shaking the pure minds smeared with Desi Patanjali ghee. How do we forget some people don’t have sex at all but count every condom thrown in university campus! The pleasure seekers crave for crocodile peacock tears to give them an orgasmic pleasure.

There are certain things in life that gives such a sadistic high that it was decided to give us happy hour, deemed better than sex. Aila! I never knew that post 10 p.m is the time baby to watch condom ads since it’s unsanskari to do so during prime time. After all, who needs sex when Arnab Goswami starts shouting in our ears?  I repeat post 10 pm is the new happy hour since Sarkar thought ki we should not rendered useless at the not-so-late night show time. Mitron! I neither lust after Sunny Leone’s Manforce condom ad nor does the sight of Durex sends me into parlok yatra.



Tauba! Tauba! Naughty naughty ads post 10 o’clock...will make the likes of Baba Ramdev melt as my silly mind tells a new Patanjali condom flavour will soon hit the market. Happy hour is now at 10 p.m to prevent people from indulging in the chromo zone of having sex. Bhakts have already won the Kurukshetra battle. See, sex is asanskari. What will now happen to the Pravachan on astha channel? Kurkure khao aur mast ho jao, mitron. 

No indecent condom ads between 6 p.m to 10 p.m Kyon ki Condom bhi kabhi titillation thi to save our Indian culture. Fuck education and awareness. Ban Nike shoes coz Just Do It is no longer hot and happening. Ab Dada aur Dadi-ji will have no TV to watch. We will miss our original Sanskari Babu Alok Nath on TV. Itna mazaa kyon aa raha hai at 10 p.m. Kamasutra is lost. Once upon a time there was a Kohinoor called Condom. Issko lagadala toh life no jingalala. 

Mourn the death of condom for we are sure it will disappear from the shelves of chemist and welcome to asli vikas.  We don’t lack incentives now for making our own brand of condom at home to develop self-sufficiency. Bapu must be so proud. Now, link your Aadhar card to every condom that you buy or make at home...ache din happening during late night show on the Indian idiot box. 

It’s the breaking news of the year for STD diseases and unwanted pregnancy has just been wiped off the planet courtesy Smriti-ji. Hey! It’s no jhumla sarkar but genius Sarkar. Condom ads ka Balidaan TV pe will go down in history. Sex is dirty and immoral na. See, it’s not Munni badnam but Condom badnaam darling tere liye. Mourn the death of our condom ads on prime time kya pata kal ho na ho. Stop whining! After all, what are your hands for if not to get them soiled and wet? Be Sanskari. 

Politically and morally incorrect

Love

Vishal
 

1 comment:

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