Letter to the 16-year old Me

Hey dude!!

Stop day dreaming of dating that girl. She will reject you outright and hides behind a fake face. You are worshipping her like a Goddess and dreaming of getting hitched. You are too young for that. She is outta your league.

 You've been sitting idle and whining your time, you over thinker and fooling Mom and Dad. Oh! That red table that you fought with Dad to shift in a living room that doesn't boast of a sofa is your sole companion and how you became a drame baaz to get it there.  You can't buckle your mind studying in an age where there is no desktop or net. I mean, net exist but your parents can’t afford it, right. The only way to access goodies in life is to study hard and move out of your middle-class life and limited means.   

Life is boring and repetitive. It's only now that you got slightly interested in studies after flunking and repeating classes, the slow-learner that you are. You are a loner. The only thing that you love doing is attending the glamorous tuition classes. After all, the chicks are for something.

Image source: Google 
You are shunned by the guys whom you want to make friends with since they feel you are dumb and not-so-cool. In fact, you are un-cool and a bhondu type by   wearing those thick glasses. Perhaps, you are too simple for them and they laugh on your back. Remember how scared you are speaking to girls and once that super hot chick came and spoke to you, how you stammered and prayed that the conversation would soon get over. The family and relatives thought you are a good-for-nothing and scorned that you will one day be doing menial job since your IQ is so low and they never hesitated to crush or make fun of you on the face. The introvert that you are never said anything and it's by sheer stroke of luck and the kind of people you met who altered your perspective towards life. Suddenly, studies started making sense to you and you echo the slow and steady horse who will win the race. 

You are an introvert who found happiness in your own world where you have no one but yourself for company, talking to the self. Dude! You are quite the brooding and reserved type who shy away from speaking to people and hesitate to walk in a place filled with people. You often envy people who score distinction and compare your average marks to them. It is instilled in your mind that you are dumb and marks make intelligence. No! They don't. 

The 16-year-old in you discovered smoking and once, Dad found two cigarette sticks in your compass box and how lame you justified saying that you don't know who has framed you. Naturally, Dad never believed you and you keep puffing after school, buying mint so that Mom doesn't get a hang of what you are doing. Yeah, you started to smoke so as to impress girls and all but no chick found you sexy or cool. It’s the time you discovered sex among friend and naturally, it was not about counting bees. At least, you know that babies are not given like a toy in an airplane.

You became quite a silent rebel who drooled over action heroes like Amitabh Bachchan and the boys, Shah Rukh Khan, Salman Khan, Ajay Devgan and Aamir Khan. Remember the crush you had on Divya Bharti and a huge one on Sonali Bendre that you penned a love letter to her Bombay address. God know whether she ever read the stupid fan mail. You saved your pocket money not to ask girls out but buy cassettes of the 90s, Aashiqui, Saajan and Khuda Gawah and of course, magazines like Filmfare, Movie, and Stardust. After all, you are a 90s kiddo. Be proud of that!

The rebel in you is silently brooding like the Amitabh of the 70s and Ajay or Sanju Baba of 90s but was hell-bent to tell the world to change their views about you. Dude! You rebel by smoking, hiding alcohol or whistling and stalking girls. It’s so flawed. You just wanna be someone else and trying to be cool.  What a way to hit back at society! You are quite a rebel without a cause, loitering till late that made Mom and Dad freak out and you often replied back to parents by acting stubborn.

Be a cool dude. You are set to conquer the world. Why give a fuck to what others think about you? Chill! Will you? Don't get stuck to her and be open to dating other girls for love doesn't happen at 16. It's pure infatuation. Start writing and keep a diary that you never had. One awesome thing that you do is reading books and are immersed in this awesomely amazing world. Hey! You will soon fall in love, start dating and kissing.

Post script: The post was prompted by Geetika's, 'Open Letter to my 16-year-old self.' I took the cue from her and penned mine here. Read Geetika's letter.


First days in college: Fresher's world

Hey, freshies! College has started for you and amid all the excitement and hoopla of breaking the bridge between junior school and college, you suddenly find yourself in a new world. College days are the best of one's life where we make memories, seek friendship, dating, falling in and out of love. The three years in college life gonna define you for the rest of your life. Make memories and years down the lane, you will sorely miss those days. College in India is so much fun where you fall in love with life and look with pride at your alter mater, branded institutions or not. 

Picture source: http://www.hindustantimes.com/

It's your first days and months in college, post the induction period, you are bound to face the pang of home-sickness and how do you fit in comfortable or break the ice! Trust me, it matters to get the best of everything.

1. Don't overdress to kill

The first few days in college will kick the nerves and it's bound for the stress level to kick. It's all about being comfortable in what you wear to flit around. Take it easy peasy. Branded jeans is cool and you don't need to blow a bomb on this pair of Levis jeans, cool tee or blouse to stand out in the crowd. You can fish for decent stuffs at good price. Since the Monsoon period is discount time and smart shopping there are so many shops such as Pantaloons or West Side where you can make a steal. Chuck out the over the top make up and for dudes, those fancy shoes. Be comfortable in who you are. Get yourself a cool bag which you will get at decent shops on the streets or slippers will do during the monsoon for rainwater soaking into socks and shoes makes it difficult to walk around.

2. Break the ice

A cheerful Hi or smile doesn't cost anything but will go a long way to break the ice for a snippet of conversation with classmates about anything and everything, about the city new to you or hang out spots. Casually ask for a conversation at the canteen or restaurants. Walk up to teachers and introduce yourselves or ask for help about the subjects. Always walk to them in the campus and strike a conversation. Trust me, it really helps. My teachers have always supported me and can't repay what they have done for me by going out of the way. Honor them during Teacher's Day and a small token never harms. 

3. Chilled Space

Don't overdo things or go over the top to be accepted by your class mates in class or campus. It's a very simple rule: Wear your heart on the sleeve and be yourself. The ones who matter will accept you in the group and those who don't will not, no matter how much you turn into someone else. Read, attention seeker. Be chilled, relax and comfortable. Being friendly and helpful to others matters the most. There must be days when you are clueless looking for the class or fishing for the timetable but being easy going or of a helpful nature will make others warm up to you and offer help. 

Be open to make friends and understand the culture of locals.You need local friends and don't stick solely with people from your home town. You will spend the best time of life, indulging in laughter, silly pranks and adventure, laughing laugh at the movies for friends are the ones who will stand with you during the break up or days when things are gonna get tough.

4, College fest

You name it, you get it! College fests is the time where you will make loads of fun in college and is an ice breaker. It worked big time for me. I volunteered for every small things in college be it our biggest college fest, Oorja, Wallstreet at Fergusson College in Pune and what's not. It's the time when you discover yourself, helping for decorations or bonding with pals during meeting or running like crazy. You will make the most amazing friends during the college fests and just let your hair down.  I was an introvert and the college fest was the time I opened up to people. It was the best times and every year would look up for it. Be a volunteer and make memories.

5. Dating scene/home sick

There will be days when you will fall home sick and shed bucket loads of tears, waiting for that call from parents or calling from the STD-ISD booth, Don't stay alone. Socialize at hang out zones and make as many friends as you can. Be open to the dating scene and go for a fling. Trust me, it's a great buster to filter off the home sick feeling. You are embracing a new and kick ass phase in life. It's the time where we experience life in equal measure, a near perfect world and get a kick in the bum. I''ll go an extra mile and even say to explore your sexuality! 

You took a major decision to make life swing and don't let it fly away from your hand. Study, attend lectures and skip some for the best learning lesson happen with friends outside the class room. Go crazy with your date, fight out and fall in and out of love. It tastes like cherry on cake. Make sure you know everyone, be it in hostel or in college.

6. Money

You don't have a money tree. The devil of temptation lurks and you know that you cannot afford everything like the super rich dudes and babes splurging. Watch for your money the moment you withdraw at the ATM and first settle rent, grocery, prepaid mobile for college days is the time you become responsible in managing expenses. If you don't have a flat mate, look for one or two that way rent will be split. If needed, look for some extra work by doing freelancing. Nowadays, there are so many opportunities and you can turn into writer making extra 4k in a month or may be a call center job. Spend wisely and you don't need to party every Saturday night. Invite friends at home, share the costs of food and alcohol rather than blowing everything in the night club.


Our love, my blood and your name

Kissing your name.
Written with blood,
 smeared over the face.
It's passion.
Stain of love.
No reason to love.
Obsess over you.
You are my prayer.
Slashing my chest with the knife,
till you say You Love Me.
Burning in ecstasy.
You are my drug.
Image credit: Google
Restless mind.
Wandering in imagination.
Swayed by your ravishing beauty.
You are an angel.
Too perfect to do any wrong.
Like the fresh dew,
your face pop in front of me,
in the morning.
Igniting my heart.
Reason to live.
Dreamy world.
Don't wanna get out of our universe.
Me and you live in the cloud,
dance our way to the waves,
travel the galaxy of stars and sky.
Your name is traced in my blood,
We are One.
No force can tear us apart.
You are my obsession.
Writing your name in blood.
My reason to live.
Destroy and burning everything into ashes,
the day they try to tear us apart.

PS: A poem about obsessive love. It's pure imagination. I do not encourage anyone to be obsessed in love and write names in blood.



Love (s) of my lives

It was the season to fall in love like in the movies. Youthful, jazzy and holding a hand to count bees under the sun. Sex was not allowed in our wildest fantasy. It was the love we did back in the 90s where an attractive face will well pierce the heart. She was the one! The heart was led to believe in the old age romance where the face will haunt one to no end. It was as pure as milk and fresh as the red rose. 
Image credit: Google

I saw her at the bus stop, hopping down from the school bus where she waited for friends, before they walked together and smiled to heavenly bliss. Oh! That face, the enticing smile that sent the pulses racing. I felt that I was going to die right now. I waited during months for an opportunity to propose, standing at the bus stop and heart beating faster than a racing car. I waited to take my chance and let the moment pass. After all, she was serenaded by her friends.

She never knew that a silent lover existed until one fine day, I took my chance and saw her waiting alone for someone. It was now or never. I stood in front of her to introduce myself, bore my heart out not with the silliest confession but with the Mujhse Fraandship Karoge type. It was lame and was naturally turned down, at first with I don't Know type of confusing answer girls are famous for. They are confused, confuse you to make wonder whether you know you are confused about their confusion. Bhaiya! Bas confusion ek bimaari hai. I excitedly pressed for the answer but was turned down.

The heart was shred into pieces when I donned the garb of road side romeo style. The solace in those days of rejection was not alcohol. Too young for that as a growing teenage! What else but sad songs from Aashiqui, Saajan or Dil Hai ke Manta Nahin. No prize for guessing which ones! If you still can't, I pity you for being such a lame lover.

The second love of my life struck me like an arrow. She came as breath of fresh dew that sent my heart singing mad romantic songs and watched her like poetry, strutted her steps in her garnet school vest and cream shirt and sparkled in her colorful glasses. She was something that I admired from a distance and brought a smile to the face, believing that she is the one. It was love. Calf love!

The heart was broken when I saw her with a dude, elder than her but that didn't stop my mad pursuit. A man in love and dreams lives in hope of hot pursuit for a couple of years. Knocked down to reality on the eve of her departure for foreign shore. Whatta fracas I made with one phone call that enraged her Dad! Move on! 

Image credit: Google/https://cdn.theatlantic.com

It was during the college days where I first saw her inside the campus and my heart was stolen. A cute Maharashtrian girl, whose smile melted me like ice in the Pune Monsoon and sent me in a tizzy. I longed for the smile and her entire gang knew about it. It was in the first year. One after the other, there was the college fashionista and model, she was super hot and I landed in college early morning, sitting at the main circle to say Hi and longed for her. She was the incarnate of hotness. No wonder guys made a beeline for her. She played too hot to handle and tough to get.

The super cute girl and my junior in college was a topper whose smile was something to die for. The moment she enthusiastically says Hi to you, you know that it’s gonna be the best day in life. Simply adorable and the cutest of all! It’s another thing that we became good friends when I was nursing my break up. I fell for her best friend and you know what it means, right?!

Love and girls fall like thunder on your head. The model and cool friend she became, suddenly disappeared from college when I was planning to make the move. The funny thing is that we liked each other and both of us knew about it. Still, nothing happened. It was a difficult and one sided love story in an age where love and romance shifted to hot intimacy. The time when cinema already made the huge steps, removed from the innocence of romance in the 90s to unabashed sensuality to murder love with Bheege Hont Tere!! She tormented me to death. Yes!! 

Finally, true love happened in the summer of 2008 in the oddest of places at Rajabhai Tower, University of Mumbai where both of us were studying for our masters. She was the true one that I would call Jaan when one sleepy afternoon she walked to me inside the colonial library asking for a sharpener. Cutting chai at the tapdi, exploring South Bombay and eating yummiest Biryani. She came and changed my life, gave me a new perspective on things. It was the love that made me mad, falling over and over with her every single moment where I was ready to take drastic steps. True love is too good to be true. We went our separate ways. It was destiny playing havoc. She was the true one that entered the door of my heart without knocking and disappeared. I don't regret her at all for she was an angel to me.




WoW: It's no fairy tale or magic power, super heroes are real

‘This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’ Today's theme is 'Superheroes in Disguise.

WoW: It's no fairy tale or magic power, super heroes are real

Super heroes are fascinating. Brave! Invincible! After all, who can harm them for they are the heroes of the masses, wearing glam attire, climbing on walls and sending the dozens villains flying and zooming at jet speed in the air?!  We love them strong and powerful, don't we? We secretly pin to be like them, saving the world or stealing from the capitalists to give to the Aam Insaan. Superman, been there! Spider man, climbing act and sticking like glues to glass buildings to do the chase. Closer home, we have Koi Mil Gaya aka Krish!!! Or flash back to the joy of growing up in the 90s, my first super hero was Shahenshah with Mr Bachchan wearing those gold kilos and flashy black clothes to mouth, Rishtey mein Hum Tumhare Baap Lagta hai, Naam Hai Shahenshah.' It was my favorite film. He repeated his act in Toofan and Ajooba. I wanted to be the super hero, echoed by Amitabh Bachchan whom no one could harm or hurt, hell bent to save the world.

Be real! We cannot stop the dock of life but can make differences to lives every single day. It redefines the old age image of super heroes and heroines, the commoners, who toil every single day to adorn lives like sugar in milk.  Such people work in the dark where no film or media outlet glorify them and or add a touch of glamor to their existence. I may not know them personally but to me they are super heroes in their own deserving right.

Being a super hero is all about making differences to lives around us. A super hero tenders a noble hand to someone in need when no one wants complications in life. There are on screen super heroes. Then, there are heroes working relentlessly under the sun and gets anonymously as they can to better the world. The man or woman who collects our garbage or the couple who dry up all their savings to educate young, underprivileged children, buying books for them are constantly touching lives. Or, the cab driver who goes all the way to trace the customer who left his or her bag that contains mobile, cash or credit card is a super hero in my eyes.

Sometimes back, I read about a homeless lady who feeds stray dogs and cats on the streets in Delhi. Is she less than a super hero?! Such souls who may not be wealthy but has a heart which is nothing less than the entire richness of the world deserve our love for they are the true ones with super human power. There are many souls like that whom we have never met in our entire life. It's time we recognize such selfless beings, who start NGOs on their own to offer support to rape victims or sensitize girls how to defend themselves, fighting against the caste system or the uneducated woman who works as a cook in someone's house whose aim is to educate her daughter in an age where many still believe that the so-called weaker sex has no right to education.

Aditya Tiwari is one young Dad who in my eyes is a superhero and the youngest to adopt a baby suffering from Down syndrome. This is the power of super heroes and they need no introduction. The young man is getting married soon and has taken it upon himself to feed homeless people and children from orphanage, stray animals. Isn't it stuff super heroes are made of?

I am proud of knowing a super heroine. She is my friend. Afflicted with cerebral palsy quadriplegia, Bindiya Farswani is one super duper girl who is flying to conquer the skies. Bindiya is not just an amazing writer but a super creative writer who weaves paintings, walked the ramp in Dubai and has modeled for Femina. I refuse to call souls like Bindiya as handicapped. No! They are not! Uniquely talented and differently-abled people who through their talent are not only making a difference to their own lives but are setting an example by telling the whole world, look at us and not sympathize for we can do things better for we don't sit and wallow. A super duper heroine who beats Superman and Spider man to death,

In an age where news is replete with negativity, prejudice, sexual assault or terror attack, the world needs such super heroes who don't kick ass but believe in spreading goodness, happiness and positivity in life. Be the change. They don't make such men and women anymore. That's why they are super heroes.


Friday fiction: Love in a steamy cup

"Love is bullshit. This crap happens only in films," I laughed at her as we waded past the crowd in the campus. The super hot chicks played too hard to get. Preeti slapped me on the head, " All of you guys are the same. Seeing someone in short skirt, your brain does the prancing around. What were you saying about love?"

"Bakwaaas," I said.

"May be to you. But, he loves me. Initially, I thought so but the cute things he does for me made me realize that there is a deep connection beyond the fling, fuck or use boyfriend girl friend kinda thing," she seemed to be in love.

I almost rolled on the floor, making faces and laugh at her. She was never angry but always said with composure,"Ok, laugh at me. But, one day you will realize. Now, bye I gotta run to the library. You better go home and study rather than whining time in the company of those girls showing their legs and boobs. Smoking and doing what with them, she scolded me.

Preeti is my raakhi sister who always chid me for losing time.

Three months later

"Preeti," I called her from a distance. I sprinted, pulled her bag and hair. She turned around and spoke in a rather irritating voice, 'What?'. I was out of breath doing an SRK in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. "You know what!" I said. She teased me,"You failed and got a KT."
"Who cares about exams? I am in love," I said rather sheepishly.
"What?" She laughed. It was her turn now to laugh at me. "See! I always told you that love exists. "May I ask, bhaiya, who is she?"
I didn't face her,"Gehna...."
"What the fuck? My best friend."


Be the One

Be the one!
It's you.
The person you always wanted to be.
Scared to be you!
Seeking maximum happiness.
Standing tall.
Lead thyself.
Scared of self's shadow?
Cowed by judgement.
What will they say?
It's your life.
Chart your destiny.
You are not them.
Shout atop mountains.
Dance to embarrass them.
I Love You,
Just say it.
Shout the loudest.
Be a deviant.
Don't say anything.
But, Be You.
Don't let them,
Crush You.

With Love


Radiant Moon, unblemished beauty! Eid Mubarak

Yearning for the flawless Moon.
Segued into the cloud,
it surfaces to shine bright.
Perfect Moon.
It adorns the the bride's face.
Princess unveils to reveal her divine beauty.
Soft hair.
Angelic smile.
Unblemished beauty.
Family bond.
Moon shining in all its form.
Revelation of the divine.
It's Eid.
Time to fall in love.
Spread happiness and vibes.
May the luminous moon always shine on us.
Mysteriously beautiful.

Eid Mubarrak