2016-07-31

Letter to the 16-year old Me


Hey dude!!

Stop day dreaming of dating that girl. She will reject you outright and hides behind a fake face. You are worshipping her like a Goddess and dreaming of getting hitched. You are too young for that. She is outta your league.

 You've been sitting idle and whining your time, you over thinker and fooling Mom and Dad. Oh! That red table that you fought with Dad to shift in a living room that doesn't boast of a sofa is your sole companion and how you became a drame baaz to get it there.  You can't buckle your mind studying in an age where there is no desktop or net. I mean, net exist but your parents can’t afford it, right. The only way to access goodies in life is to study hard and move out of your middle-class life and limited means.   

Life is boring and repetitive. It's only now that you got slightly interested in studies after flunking and repeating classes, the slow-learner that you are. You are a loner. The only thing that you love doing is attending the glamorous tuition classes. After all, the chicks are for something.

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You are shunned by the guys whom you want to make friends with since they feel you are dumb and not-so-cool. In fact, you are un-cool and a bhondu type by   wearing those thick glasses. Perhaps, you are too simple for them and they laugh on your back. Remember how scared you are speaking to girls and once that super hot chick came and spoke to you, how you stammered and prayed that the conversation would soon get over. The family and relatives thought you are a good-for-nothing and scorned that you will one day be doing menial job since your IQ is so low and they never hesitated to crush or make fun of you on the face. The introvert that you are never said anything and it's by sheer stroke of luck and the kind of people you met who altered your perspective towards life. Suddenly, studies started making sense to you and you echo the slow and steady horse who will win the race. 

You are an introvert who found happiness in your own world where you have no one but yourself for company, talking to the self. Dude! You are quite the brooding and reserved type who shy away from speaking to people and hesitate to walk in a place filled with people. You often envy people who score distinction and compare your average marks to them. It is instilled in your mind that you are dumb and marks make intelligence. No! They don't. 

The 16-year-old in you discovered smoking and once, Dad found two cigarette sticks in your compass box and how lame you justified saying that you don't know who has framed you. Naturally, Dad never believed you and you keep puffing after school, buying mint so that Mom doesn't get a hang of what you are doing. Yeah, you started to smoke so as to impress girls and all but no chick found you sexy or cool. It’s the time you discovered sex among friend and naturally, it was not about counting bees. At least, you know that babies are not given like a toy in an airplane.

You became quite a silent rebel who drooled over action heroes like Amitabh Bachchan and the boys, Shah Rukh Khan, Salman Khan, Ajay Devgan and Aamir Khan. Remember the crush you had on Divya Bharti and a huge one on Sonali Bendre that you penned a love letter to her Bombay address. God know whether she ever read the stupid fan mail. You saved your pocket money not to ask girls out but buy cassettes of the 90s, Aashiqui, Saajan and Khuda Gawah and of course, magazines like Filmfare, Movie, and Stardust. After all, you are a 90s kiddo. Be proud of that!

The rebel in you is silently brooding like the Amitabh of the 70s and Ajay or Sanju Baba of 90s but was hell-bent to tell the world to change their views about you. Dude! You rebel by smoking, hiding alcohol or whistling and stalking girls. It’s so flawed. You just wanna be someone else and trying to be cool.  What a way to hit back at society! You are quite a rebel without a cause, loitering till late that made Mom and Dad freak out and you often replied back to parents by acting stubborn.

Be a cool dude. You are set to conquer the world. Why give a fuck to what others think about you? Chill! Will you? Don't get stuck to her and be open to dating other girls for love doesn't happen at 16. It's pure infatuation. Start writing and keep a diary that you never had. One awesome thing that you do is reading books and are immersed in this awesomely amazing world. Hey! You will soon fall in love, start dating and kissing.

Post script: The post was prompted by Geetika's, 'Open Letter to my 16-year-old self.' I took the cue from her and penned mine here. Read Geetika's letter.
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