2013-10-17

Complexity of my life

There are days in life where you feel everything fall out of place when you suddenly lose track of things in life and you feel sad for no reason, whatsoever. I am going through this stage right now and feel that it got to do with the inactive mind and inert body that spend the day and night sitting on the couch.
What's interesting is that at times, I feel so low and out of place but suddenly, the mood sprang up with positive thoughts in life. There are the good wishes, blessings and words of courage from friends that make the mood upbeat. My friends really know how to surprise me with the faraway phone calls, soothing words and, of course, unexpected gift in the form of tagging an old picture on Facebook. It warms the heart and brings a harbinger of hope in life. I have reason to believe that good things in life is waiting patiently behind the door. With so many good wishes, there is no reason to sound negative and deep inside, I know that positive things will usher its way in my life.
Still, why the lull and the emotional and mental conflict is dominating the mind? I know, the mind is fickle but to that extent? Gawd!!!! I think that I am going crazy with the weird turn of events in life, what with the proper job taking its own time to take shape. I've been sitting at home for the past six months and tired of waiting for things to turn up the way I want. The whole scene is so confusing and I know, it is the result of my own doing and, of course, unforeseen circumstances. But, why, why? I am in a hurry to script the story of my life and it's not really moving at my own speed. Life can be strange, at time. 
It's been months that I haven't written anything in my diary and my procrastination is hitting my nerves. How do someone arrange things to be properly executed? I am being patient and look furtively as a passive spectator at the way things are moving. And, to think, life moved at 360 degrees a year back with oodles of happiness. Still, I am not losing heart since I know that if good things doesn't stay forever, why should bad things gain a permanent place in my life.
I feel blessed and learning to count my blessing and not sorrow.
Good Night
Vishal
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