A 100 crore tale of Love Jihad, Chicken and Beef in Kamasutra Land

I am feeling bored today till I started playing the game of Love Jihad. I throw the dice to entrap someone, an invisible victim. The game of entrapment, zeroing on my catch, some innocent girl, flirt with her, promise her love and marriage, then break her heart. Amen!

That makes for the script of 100 crores blockbuster, scripted by the likes of RSS and the great Yogi Adityanath as the savior in the breath-taking climax. Our new-age superman has taken upon himself to save the lives of million innocent girls in the magnum-opus 'Love Jihad.' A script tailor made for success: Man in beard zooming past on the motorcycle as the Hindu girl, clad in Salwar Kameez, red bangles and red Bhindi, hop on in the name of love. You know the rest! If you don't, Hindu outfits will tell you the story coz they will narrate the concocted soup of threat to spill down your throat.

See, the Hindu religion is in danger na coz of Loove Jihad hell bent in destroying man kind. What a formula for success! This will put the likes of Karan Johar and Rohit Shetty to shame. In this RSS Kahani, there is no twist coz you see vultures are hell bent to make our girls fall in love with them and force them to convert. Romeo Jihad! Beware of Love Jihad! Why? Baby! Proponents of Hinditva agenda are telling and you must  listen to them. It's their script, their movie. Have you bought the tickets? Totally free of cost. Unplugged propaganda of fear. Now, they are turning into vigilante in our University campuses coz the world, oops sorry!, their religion is in danger of being possessed by Love Jihad. I tell you, Valentine celebration is against our culture and is such a westernized concept. Now, see how Love Jihad is making a comeback to force things down the throat of our girls and they wanna rope us after brain-washing our heads. You see! The perfect script of 100 crores votes!

Have you said secularism? What is that! According to them, there is only Hindutva which is the perfect package, designed to delete secularism and the fabric of the Indian constitution. Didn't someone said that everyone is a Hindu in India? Now, why are you scoffing at them? You find it funny, na. Must be! Beware, they don't find it funny coz we belong to the land of Lord Rama, declaring war on Love Jihad, no chicken and Beef! We are so pure that Kamasutra exist only in our dirty minds. We, young people, are so polluted coz we believe in love and making friends with people, irrespective of their ethnic or religious belonging. We are the ignorant youth of India who should be taught the conspiracy of Love-Jihad which is destroying our religion and our girls. If we fail to adhere to their logic, we should be beaten up every Valentine Day coz we are wiping our religion and not being able to save our girls. Beti Bahu Bachao! Declare war on love Jihad!

See, we are only capable of making love and not war. But, who will tell them this? They don't want to see us  united like Sooraj Bharjatya's Hum Saath Saath Hai! After all, it's a question of their pro-Hindutva sick agenda that sucks like rotten tomato. Suddenly, I am wondering how they would call Hindu boys falling in love with Muslim girls! The boys must be innocent that the Muslim girls are putting a Jaal-The Trap, to ensnare the poor boys, na! It's Pyar Pyar Pyar vs Maar Maar Maar, the RSS way! A new script, changed to suit their 'religious' sensibility of hatred. Wait! Howz about forming an outfit against hatred to destroy their proxy war?

We shall walk the tight rope to spread love and only love minus Jihad. Our Jihad will be filled with feeling will of love and we shall them some flowers and 'Get Well Soon' card the Munna way. It shall be our war against the force of terror and our Love Jihad against violence, brain-washing and hatred. Till then, let me enjoy my chicken Briyani made with love and feast on secular food.

With Love

V

Anyone game to speak about S-E-X

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We belong to the land of Kamasutra and yet why so many of us Indians as well citizens with strong Indian roots shy away from discussing on sex? It's a shame as to how the genius of painting M.F Hussain was shooed away in his own land and was forced to die in exile. Let's face it the ancient Indian approach to sex was more liberal in both approach and outlook.
We live in a repressed world and society is doing everything to repress our sexuality. Mind you, it's the handiwork of religious extremists who choose to live their sex life in private. But, when it comes to commoners, they raise a hue-and-cry brandishing religion, morality and scriptures-whichever religion they belong to. At the end of the day, sacred book emerges as the winner at the altar of the basic needs of human beings. This is one of the reason why there are so many rapes albeit violence happening in society. Unfortunately, many parents shy away from explaining to children the A-Z of sex. By explaining the basic of sex it is important to explain to children the virtues of procreation but it is also important that the children be taught on the need to respect woman and a dignified man must always respect the wishes of a woman.
When something goes wrong in society we should always ask the how and why? On the onset, it's the way society educate us as to how to behave and respond in society. Assume a six year old ask someone a question on a picture of a naked body he or she encountered, if we chose to respond in, avoid it. It's only for pervert, we are labelling a child as a pervert and he will gave more or less the same response. It is a case of self-fulfilling prophesy.
Vatsyayana must be an excited man and he wrote the sex manual to make our lives relatively easy and smooth. Okie, we choose to guard our private lives, our religious practices but at least, we can speak about sex. We are not committing any form of blasphemy or bigotry by speaking about sex. Chill, guys and gals, it's a three letter word S-E-X. The simple words are not implicit and we are not revealing too much. We are not the next Emraan or Malika neither we are flaunting our prized assets. There is nothing wrong in discussing about sex. Nothing abnormal or weird in that. Okie, when was the last time you had sex, 2 weeks back, one hour ago or last night. That's it. You don't need to give an explanation as to what you did or undone..we are not getting there, to say the least.
Even Hindi films have started to depict love-making scenes and we are actually faraway from the time when two rose flowers were depicted movie. Kissing and sex are the most natural thing for a normal human being. India as a country has a huge collection of sex, stamps, postcards, pottery, images and different love-making skills and I think the best way to prove a change in mindset is to have a sex museum. Why not? I may think that I am going too far. No! seriously. The museum may run the risk of being forced in exile and those 200 bucks paid thugs will get an orgasm in destroying it while our TV channels will be only to glad to cover. Post that. everything shall be so peaceful as those thugs will indulge in desi daaru and force their wives to have sex. Those poor women subjected to sexual violence will oblige to the rape advances of dear hubby. Pati parmeshwar.
Sex is a metaphor or is it so? No, we choose not to speak about sex, our text books will not teach kids the basics of sex while those so called defenders of moral rights will slip in at night on the sex market or silently watch porn in their room much to the chagrin of their partners. The partners who have desire which is not being fulfilled. Did someone ever asked why so many have extra-marital affairs.The answer is soo simple. I'm not in any case justifying extra-marital affairs and I will never do so. It's just a simple debate which seeks clarity on the subject-matter.
In the same way we tend to lash at homosexuals and ban alcohol in society. Just imagine a minister waking up on the wrong foot and decide to ban condoms. Just kidding. It can happen coz everything is possible in our small, tiny and beautiful world. It looks like those gentlemen can decide what is good and bad for us. Lumpen elements will only be too happy to enforce the ban through violence as it happens on V-day.
Let's stop be so puritanical about the three letter words. India has a rich sexual and erotic heritage which came into being much before anyone in the west. It is inherent in our culture and let's not shy away from it. Refusing to deal will sex will trigger many problem since our society and frustration of any form in the expression of desire is the worst that can happen to mankind. Let's create the avenue of desire and passion.We should and must not repress our sexuality as it is part of our individuality.