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Andheri, Mumbai 2006

Is this a time to come, Abhay? Shonali fumes at him.
What? I was stuck in the traffic, he mumbles.
She stares at him, you are always stuck in the traffic. Now tell me something. It's been two years that we are together and every time, you put up some lame excuses. You have never been on time. Not even, on the day you asked me out for a date. I am so pissed off with you.
They walk silently towards the entrance at Infinity mall. Shonali phones rings and she says, hello. She whispers to Abhay, Now go and wait for me at CCD. I dunno why Mom is calling. I think she wanna me get her something at Westside.
As he trots towards the escalator, he ponders, what's wrong with this girl. I don't think I can ever understand her. What's her problem, yaar? He reaches CCD and orders an ice Arab Eskimo. In thirty minutes, he spots Shonali pushing her brown-colored hair with her left hand, she is cute and hot. What a lethal combination. Now, if I ask her why she took thirty minutes to join me, she will give me the aghast look as if she has seen an alien and start crying. Now, I am sure that she will asks why the fuck I ordered coffee without waiting for her. Now, what? If I am dead of thirst, I need to ask madam's permission.
She plonks on the chair, what the fuck? We can't even light a smoke in this fucking mall. Abhay, you know it's very insensitive as you ordered coffee without waiting for me. For fuck sake, I am your girlfriend?
He is startled, What Shonali??? I was dying of thirst. Chill babe, it's just coffee.
Of course, it's coffee Abhay? I am not saying it's Amul butter, she spouts as she tries to be innocent at the same time. Shonali has the habit of reacting in that manner and it's something Abhay is used to.
She continues with her hammering act. I am just saying that at least you could have waited, yaar.
Abhay startled at her in disbelief, Shonaliiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Abhay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she breaks into splits of laughter.
That's Shonali, fuming at one second and breaking into mad laughter in the next second that followed.
Oh! Fuck! She exclaimed..Oh! Dude, please can you drop me at Bandra at 5 p.m I forgot that I have an appointment with Shehzian mum. I gotta cut my hair. I need to do it today, today only,she cajoled him.
They drove into Abhay grey-colored Maruti swift as the car jostle in the midst of the traffic as the iconic BEST buses and cars ruthlessly blaze the horns.
She whines, shit man! Mumbai is becoming worse everyday with this screwed traffic. I need to be there at 6 and its 5.40, we are still stuck in the middle of this crazy city. Shit! We have only reached Vile Parle.
Abhay just retorts, now you realize why I was late to reach out Infinity. She grumbles.
They reached crunchy beauty parlour at 7. Shonali kisses him on the lip, bye bye baby. Will call you at night.
He swerves towards the Barista outlet at Dadar, Shivaji Park. Fuck man, I badly need some me-time, accompanied by a Capuccino and a smoke. Shonali screwed my head. I dunno what her problem is. Thank God, she went for her hair cut or else she would have eaten my head with her yakking. He orders a coffee and pulls a stick of classic mild cigarette. He reflects on the species that gave birth to Shonali. This woman I dunno why she constantly whines. She complains that I am indifferent to her and that I am always late. That's her constant refrain and guess I shall write a poem to her, oh!yeah baby! I am always late and I shall be more punctual. I shall bump into street lights, cars and try a Salman at Bandra. Let the cops berate me and lemme turn into a mass road murderer.
I dunno why she complaints so much at the most mundane things in life. I can't even break up with her coz I love her so much. She doesn't even communicate her but only shout. If she was a dictionary, she would have made a gibberish one, difficult to understand and so complex with her out of the blue, laugh in a gleeful manner. She breaks into laughter, oblivious of the fact on what he is laughing at and become red with anger on I dunno what. I don't even know what her complaints are made of. Even if I hand her a blank sheet of paper to jot her numerous complaints, I am cocksure that I will get a blank sheet with her tears and accusing me of causing sorrow in her life.She just dodges the real issues in our relationship: She and her accusations.
Beep..beep the sms shows baby where are you, can you come and pick me.
He feels like crying. Fuck yaa..I gotta meet my pals at Gokhul for some drinks at 9 and now I gotta pick her up and drop her at Nepansea road. Thank God! Colaba is no to far away from her home. He lights another cigarette in frustration and walk towards his car. Vroom!Here I go! Girlfriend service unlimited.

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