2016-04-30

Sun's fragrance

Picture credit: Google/ http://7-themes.com

Bright ray of sunshine,
brimming with zest on one's life and chakra.
Fragrant morning.
Morning hue and dew.
Aesthetic sense kindled.
Unlimited Joy.
Hot cup of tea brewing.
Awakening the consciousness.
Mind springing into action.
Oasis of calm mind and soul.
Sun offering shades of light and energy.
Natural vitamin for the mind.
Snuggle to shades.
Sit straight and stand to face the sun.
Internalise vibration, manifesting in soul and body.

Good Morning
Vishal



2016-04-25

Oh!! Willie Willie William and Katie!! Bless our Kohinoor

Genie wish!!! A girlfriend like Katie Katie not Winslett, darling would do wonder to my ego and health! Tons of royalty, I mean money bags!! Kidding, I wanna the Kohinoor shipped back to India. The least our Government could and should have done is to sweep Kate and Willie William off their feet, mollycoddling them that they are the rightful owner of the Arabian sea. Anytime, they could have dropped in to watch the still waters. In exchange, for our Kohinoor. A missed opportunity like our first Nano version. Ask Ratan Tata about it!

The dearie couple visited India and was guffawed by our symbol of love, Taj Mahal. Thank God, they didn't ask it as a return gift to Buckingham Palace. Our country folks are drooling on how hot Kate is and she got the charm and oomph factor, donning an Anita Dongre dress. She could have been our phoren and imported Maa Durga ringing in Lakshmi. Wonder what Sonia-ji will think with so much pandering. At least, Sonia hasn't lost the crown of Indian Bahu to Katie Katie and can take heart we haven't adopted her.
Image credit: Google India

She came and conquered hearts, this lovey dovey Kate, mother to the future heir of England. At least, we could have kidnapped, patented and adopted the little boy, this future King of England. Nah! We prefer to pander to his Maa and Baba and our celebrities losing their USP to royalties, secretly humming Kaash Mein bhi Royalty Hota!! A tale of Gods and Goddesses of small things blessing our land. Our Mann Ki Baat is still stuck like the old gramophone, K for Kohinoor. Trust SRK to serenade the royal lady, doing a detour from K..kiiran to K..koohinoor!

Saffron hangover. Think again! We go gaga over the Katie and William of the royalty relishing the juicy stuff of the world and how we love throwing ourselves at them. I prefer Lady Gaga rather than going gaga over the royal family.

Now, our Government is ensnarled by the lovey dovey royal couple that they have started to rewrite history, educating us how our prized possession was not stolen but given to the Queen of England. Have they been drinking a magic potion specially concocted in the Kingdom of England? Or!! Or!! Playing Lagaan in the middle of the night with the royal couple.
A rare selfie must have done the trick for us, grateful how our once colonial masters have accepted to be framed and how great they are to visit us. Athithi Devo Bhava!!

Where is our Kohinoor? After all, it has shifted so many hands before landing in the lap of the 'rightful hand' pretty much like the tale of Arabian Nights. The same old bedside stories, matlab nani ki kahani in a new package that would put us to sleep. And, to think we were the most prosperous nation in the world and our machines was shifted to England.  Ooh!! La! La! Nah! We shall not dig in the past and a kiss on the cheek from Kate would be enough to marvel at how perfect her skin is.

Perhaps, Katie and William can be our goodwill ambassadors of Incredible India in England. No Fair and Lovely or Kohinoor babes. A flying kiss would do...chalega chalega.

I am thinking where to shop for the Johnson Baby powder to go fair and turn into a very handsome boy!! Better I ask Kate darling to get me one for free and in exchange, I shall put a stamp of approval that her family is the rightful owner of our Kohinoor. But, dunno whether she'll love this unique piece? Our own Kohinoor, the Vijay Mallya.

2016-04-13

Kyon Ki Taher Shah bhi pari hai!!

Hai re Allah!! Jal Pari!! Angel in human form. Pari hoon main!! Not me, you dumbos and trolls!! I ain't a self-claimed angel reclaimed through pop songs and videos on social media. I am cringing and whining. You know the culprit, right!! Our apna homo sapien, Taher Shah and Pakistani friend aka pari is making me look and feel so horrible. How I wish there were no purna janam or reincarnation!!
 I wouldn't give anything to be re-born as an angel for Taher Shah has taken swept the mojo under  my feet.   Born this way!! It shudders me to think Lady Gaga wanna do a reprise of her video wearing Taher Shah robe and wig. Our apna Kareena Kapoor Khan must be cursing herself for lip sync Papa ki pari hoon mein and wished in lieu of Pankaj Kapoor, she could have hummed to Taher Shah with 'Mere Papa hi pari hoon.' Trust Sooraj Barjatya to remake the song and make Alok Nath, our apna Sanskari Babu play Taher Shah on screen. He'd look dapper on screen.
Image source: Google
Just imagine, I was an actor and got to play a man in love with a Pari or mere bachi singing Papa ki pari, I would have abandoned the role on the spot and cut myself to size. I take a vow: I shall never get married for I don't wanna dear daughter singing papa ki pari for every time she'll do that, Taher Shah face will haunt me. Who wanna play Papa ki pari to Taher Shah? I bet! Many stars, daughters, and believers of Pari will stop believing in angels. I am already having day mares of not having a night mare of Taher-ji accompanying me to heavenly bliss. That would be horrible. right!!
Kaise kaise sapnay dikhate hai world ki pari, Taher shah. He has already given a bad name to the Shahs of the world. Now, our Gujjus bhaiyon and behenons must be fuming and thinking of throwing dhoklas and not andas on the dude. So much waste of our Gujju Dhoklas, singing Dhoka hua hai with the Shah namesake. 
See!! I trust my angel always but not Taher Shah, hell bent on spoiling my childhood and dream of meeting my pari, to do a duet. You horrible man, I dunno what to make of you and your ardent desire of making the cut as a mini celebrity! I would prefer you to blurt out some rubbish..racist rant on Twitter. A better way for folks like me to troll and make you famous than donning this pari avatar. I don't feel like trolling you, dude. You are making trolls badnaam. Munni hui badnaam, Taher pari ki wajah!
Papa ki pari! Jal pari! Pari hai tu! Kis ko pari! Taher Shah ko!!! I am racking and whacking my grey cells to come with funny words to describe you, man. But, but! You making the post look lame and horrible as you are. One thing is sure, your pari video should be distributed to the Taliban in Pakistan and I bet they won't venture in the open and wreck damage. Rather than making bombs in claiming innocent lives, they better share your videos to scare the shit outta ISI and Pak Government. Ha!! Your Government cries hoarse over India attacking your country or the fact that we conspire in pretending that we are the victims of terror that never happened, why the fuck did they make you wreck havoc on humanity. With a pari like you Taher Bhai, the world doesn't need bombs for you are such a big one on the head, eyes, and ears of people. Nobody ever told you that you are such a burden on the world, you atom bomb.
Heard emergency has been declared in Pakistan and they  are attempting to tighten all screw in your head. Screw! It should have been security for letting a mad mad pari going by the name of Taher Shah on the loose. Hey!! Hey!! Ever wondered on visiting the likes of Asaram Bapu and Shankaracharya of this world? Of course, singing and dancing pari to their tunes...like Basanti did for Gabbar!! I am sure they will abandon all penance and go a bit cool on religious crap or better shed celibacy.
Nopes! I ain't giving you idea of performing a sexual orgy in your next video. Dude!! That will exterminate humanity from the planet if you ever do that or you wanna be the next big thing to land yourself on Big Boss or Comedy Nights with Kapil. You shall be a blessing in disguise Tahir Shah for we will stop making the non-sensical soap operas or reality shows.
How I wish you giving Ekta idea on how not to make Kyon ki Taher Shah bhi Pari thi!!

2016-04-10

We are all 'Ceiling Fans' of Rakhi Sawant


Who stole my good ole ceiling fan? Trust Rakhi Sawant to save me from the jaw of death and preventing me from committing 'suicide'? How I wish Rakhi was born before Sholay was made!! There would be no suicide scene...Dharam Paaji mouthing three times 'Suicide, Suicide and Suicide' and she would steal him right under the nose of Hema Malini. Maushi would die of heart attack on the spot and no Lambu would go to coax her to marry Basanti to Veeru. Just imagine the new version of Sholay with Rakhi Sawant. Bechariyon!! Basanti and Mausi would be outta job.
I am a big 'Ceiling Fan' of Rakhi Sawant for solving the problem of suicide in a jifffy. Our Mika Singh must be wondering on inviting her for the next birthday party to blow all the balloons  and getting rid of all ceiling fans in his apartment. Guess, there would be no smoochie smoochie this time but only ceiling fan removal like hair transplant. Now, Mika is getting all the grey cells working on how he would look on Comedy Nights Bachao with one single thread on his head. First there was Garibi Hatao and now Ceiling Fan Hatao.
Trust Rakhi Sawant to solve all national issues in the country and me heard, that her 'ceiling fan' removal will prevent earth quake from happening in the world. We would be saved from corruption for you know ceiling fans offer fresh air on the head of our netas how to take kickback on fat projects. 
Our Rakhi is joining the brigade of bans and the latest victim of course is our dear old Godrej and Usha ceiling fans. Ab ceiling fan ko kaun bachaega Rakhi Sawant se. Bhago yaar!! Bhago!! Rakhi Sawant se bhago!! The only person who is safe! No prize for guessing! Bhaag Milkha Bhaag. Farhan, you are safe, man.

Image credit: google India

I am a fan. I oft repeat. A huge 'ceiling fan' of Rakhi Sawant for solving all problems on the earth. You know the solution right! Hey!! hey!! She can the self-appointment ambassador to make Donald Trump run away from 'Primaries' oops 'ceiling fan'. No banning of beef, no Ghar Waapsi. It's the banning of ceiling fan. BJP, are you listening? After all, what all the hullaboo of preserving Indian culture and tradition when Rakhi Sawant has solved everything chutki mein. Ab aayega asli mazaa. Trust Rohit Shetty to make her first female oriented action movie with Rakhi Sawant in the lead to blow all ceiling fans in houses, cinema, office and where not!! Rohit Shetty, just one problem. How about putting ceiling fans on the trees, next to traffic lights and crowded streets. Don't worry, Be Happy. Rakhi is here to blow them apart.
I trust the Indian Government is (not) getting ideas of appointing Rakhi Sawant the next brand ambassador of 'Swach ceiling fan abhiyaan' to ban the unban: 'Ceiling Fans.' Or, being made the Minister of Ceiling Fans. Lara Croft is already getting competition for our own desi version in taking on her in the destruction spree of the poor and defense less ceiling fan. First there was tobacco companies and now ceiling fans companies to shut shop in becoming 'ceiling fans' of Rakhi Sawant. Aren't we all?!

2016-04-05

At Night Fall

Night fall.
Crescent moon.
Blank screen.
Dry ink.
Story untold.
Lush romance.
Unquenched thirst.
Hungry for words.
Troubled waters.
Loner.
Unrequited love.
Mind brewing with countless emotions.
Fragmented emotions.
Picking threads.
Unfulfilled narration.
Trouble waters.
A mind filled with stormy waves.
Closing the eyes,
I find the story in my dreams.
Capturing emotions.

With love
V

2016-04-04

Kiss of petals


Music to the heart;
String of madness;
Passion;
Thy call it love;
Eyes longing for each other;
A valley of spring;
Roses blossoming together;
Kiss of petals;
Sound of guitar;
Singing a new song;
Love like never before;
Lose all sense of balance;
Just love;
Pure madness;
Innocence lost;
Fuck morals;

With Love
Vishal