Oh!! Willie Willie William and Katie!! Bless our Kohinoor

Genie wish!!! A girlfriend like Katie Katie not Winslett, darling would do wonder to my ego and health! Tons of royalty, I mean money bags!! Kidding, I wanna the Kohinoor shipped back to India. The least our Government could and should have done is to sweep Kate and Willie William off their feet, mollycoddling them that they are the rightful owner of the Arabian sea. Anytime, they could have dropped in to watch the still waters. In exchange, for our Kohinoor. A missed opportunity like our first Nano version. Ask Ratan Tata about it!

The dearie couple visited India and was guffawed by our symbol of love, Taj Mahal. Thank God, they didn't ask it as a return gift to Buckingham Palace. Our country folks are drooling on how hot Kate is and she got the charm and oomph factor, donning an Anita Dongre dress. She could have been our phoren and imported Maa Durga ringing in Lakshmi. Wonder what Sonia-ji will think with so much pandering. At least, Sonia hasn't lost the crown of Indian Bahu to Katie Katie and can take heart we haven't adopted her.

Image credit: Google India

She came and conquered hearts, this lovey dovey Kate, mother to the future heir of England. At least, we could have kidnapped, patented and adopted the little boy, this future King of England. Nah! We prefer to pander to his Maa and Baba and our celebrities losing their USP to royalties, secretly humming Kaash Mein bhi Royalty Hota!! A tale of Gods and Goddesses of small things blessing our land. Our Mann Ki Baat is still stuck like the old gramophone, K for Kohinoor. Trust SRK to serenade the royal lady, doing a detour from K..kiiran to K..koohinoor!

Saffron hangover. Think again! We go gaga over the Katie and William of the royalty relishing the juicy stuff of the world and how we love throwing ourselves at them. I prefer Lady Gaga rather than going gaga over the royal family.

Now, our Government is ensnarled by the lovey dovey royal couple that they have started to rewrite history, educating us how our prized possession was not stolen but given to the Queen of England. Have they been drinking a magic potion specially concocted in the Kingdom of England? Or!! Or!! Playing Lagaan in the middle of the night with the royal couple.

A rare selfie must have done the trick for us, grateful how our once colonial masters have accepted to be framed and how great they are to visit us. Athithi Devo Bhava!!

Where is our Kohinoor? After all, it has shifted so many hands before landing in the lap of the 'rightful hand' pretty much like the tale of Arabian Nights. The same old bedside stories, matlab nani ki kahani in a new package that would put us to sleep. And, to think we were the most prosperous nation in the world and our machines was shifted to England.  Ooh!! La! La! Nah! We shall not dig in the past and a kiss on the cheek from Kate would be enough to marvel at how perfect her skin is.

Perhaps, Katie and William can be our goodwill ambassadors of Incredible India in England. No Fair and Lovely or Kohinoor babes. A flying kiss would do...chalega chalega.

I am thinking where to shop for the Johnson Baby powder to go fair and turn into a very handsome boy!! Better I ask Kate darling to get me one for free and in exchange, I shall put a stamp of approval that her family is the rightful owner of our Kohinoor. But, dunno whether she'll love this unique piece? Our own Kohinoor, the Vijay Mallya.