Dubmash!!

Just imagine if the song, 'Ticket to Hollywood' from Jhoom Barabar Jhoom' had to be a remake, sequel or re-interpreted. What a multi-casting blockbuster it would have been with different versions as a dub mash of sort!

Let's sit with the cast, not caste dearies. First version, would be a promotion of Pakistani tourism featuring our movie heart throbs like Shah Rukh Khan and Aamir Khan playing damsels in distress. Twitter trolls, led by the ilk of Sakshi Maharaj, Munna Kumar Sharma of Hindu Maha Sabha, Yogi Adityanath and Sadhvi Prachi gyrating to the tune of 'Ticket to Pakistan.' The Pakistani Government, a lil birdie, tells are quite confused what to make of it: On one hand, it's boosting their tourism prospect free of charge and on the other hand, thinking how to accommodate so many Indians, willing to leave their land to hop to their neighbor. A migrating crisis that would beat Hum toh Chale Pardesh, Pardeshi ho gaye, to death.

Heard Aamir Khan is busy packing the DvD's of Ghulam, Taare Zameen Par and Delhi Belly in bundle to bribe the Pakistani Government to host his family, Sarfaroshi ki tamanna. SRK is rehearsing his lines, thinking what to sing and dialogues to mouth at the Jinnah International Airport. Our two biggest superstars can be seen dancing at the airport, 'Ticket to Pakistan.'

Enter Prime Minister, Narendra Modi, wearing his signature style Kurta Pyjama and dancing his way at airports in US, UK, UAE and France, changing into different get ups like Pierre Cardin suits, Levi's jeans and tee cum like a Sheikh, dancing to Marhaba Marhaba ishq ki aag lagi hai.  Jaise desh waisa bhes, surrounded by gori girls, changing into Salwar and short white skirts in style, lip syncing Mein Nikla Gaddi Leke and driving a porch, mouthing Mein Tera Hero. 

A truly cross over hero, our Modi-ji is and heard he is on the way to replace Amitabh Bachchan and Shah Rukh Khan as heroes with global appeal. Move on AB and SRK, the new hero is NaMo. Alisha accompanying Modi-ji, singing Made in India and she's on the way to sing at the Cannes festival with Modi-ji doing the sync act.  Aadmi topi Dhoop ki chaun, Manhattan...New York. 

Heard Steven Speilberg wants to make his next magnum opus with Narendra Modi after the dub mash has gone to viral on You Tube. According to grapevines, Make in India aur Mann ki Baat has been decided by both Speilberg and Modi to make the movie the biggest bilingual blockbuster in Hinglish.

Next is Vishwa Hindu Parishad dubmash carrying a huge poster of Kareena Kapoor, which they renamed Love Jihad. The dub mash, Woh Chali Woh Chali hum ko chodke' seems to be the sleeper hit of the year. Heard VHP has roped in Yo! Yo! Honey Singh for a new version of 'Party with VHP' and adding Tumhi Ho Bandhu Shakha with huge posters of NaMo to give it a bigger twist. Ek Selfie le le re, with NaMo in a new dub mash video, showing his fixation and love for selfie. Adding zing to it, heard an unknown film producer known for making C-grade movie wanna shot Modi-ji in the old Akki Baba 90s flick, I am a bachelor hoon, akela bimaar hoon' to be screened exclusively on You Tube.

Remembering 26/11: The day Mumbai changed

Image credit: Times Now/Twitter

It was the day that changed our lives forever. Mumbai would never be the same again. The day that changed it all, 26/11. We knew how wounds would, perhaps, never heal in maximum city. It was a grim reminder that every city has its limits and life abruptly stopped on that day.

It was a macabre day where lives were taken at leisure by merchant of death on the streets, restaurants, railway station and Taj Hotel. It pinched the heart to see places you frequented almost everyday was the prey of terrorists. It's unimaginable what happened in Mumbai.  How terrorists entered India so easily in boats? A clear case of carelessness where security zones were not checked.

It's been seven years since mayhem struck in Mumbai and a hotel was hijacked by terrorists. It still run deep in our nerves how people were ruthlessly killed in the city. It still makes me angry. How I wish we could live without this terror attack!

Lives that has no price,

blood everywhere,

reminds us of hatred for humanity.

There is only one emotion, love,

that maketh us conquer hatred.

We may have moved on and picked our thread,

the past shall not be buried.

It reminds us of the blood shed.

I can imagine desperate cry of agony and faces of people who would pray to be saved from the clutch of death. Children losing parents and mothers losing their children. Sometimes, I wonder what leads to so much hatred in the world and what has the world done to deserve such ruthless act? It was an attack on the soul of the city and the sacrifice of the army, police and NCG who didn't bother about their lives to restore the city to normalcy and rescuing people. One witnessed how people came together, waving to soldiers and distributing water to them. In moments of distrust where life in the city was brought to a halt, one can see positivity in action. It was all a question of trust. The people putting their implicit faith in their heroes.

This day, 26/11 remains entrenched in our memory. We cannot say that we have moved on for we know certain things never do. In a city where we celebrate life, this attack took away a bit of ourselves and a slice of joy from our lives. We would all feel the flame missing in our lives, somewhere, despite kneeling and holding a beautifully lit candle in the palm of our hand. It's really sad how 7 years later, everyone has forgotten about the Mumbai terror attack.

The attack dawned upon me that we need to cherish every single moment in life since there is no guarantee about life. Spread cheers and light the heart of a stranger, bring a smile on faces, do not spoil our relationships for life is precious. Make the most of every single moment in life.

I take a bow to the victims, soldiers and police not just in Mumbai attack but in places like Paris, Aghanistan, Beirut and regions who are the prey of terror attack every single day.

#mumbai26/11,#MumbaiAttacks

Paradise Lost

Train was burnt and passengers charred to death. Desperate voices of women and children, crying to be spared. Bombs exploding and human ruthlessly killing their own with guns and swords. The old man sat on his knees, smoking a beedi and reflected on his paradise land where his people would die to protect each other from outsiders who attempted to divide communities on religious and ethnic lines.

Image credit: Google/Reuters

The Maulana, Pandit and Catholic priests would eat together, share a good laugh spreading the values of unity, mutual respect and teaching the virtues of religion to children, irrespective of faith. The man who grew old in the village recalls the days as a kid where he lived by the flowers, trees, mountains and lakes in the paradise. He would tend the cattle who would wander faraway, fearless and without the worry of being attacked. Nature encapsulated his life with friends who has names like Ram, Rahim and Christ.

The children would sleep at night, outside the tiny huts, lazy on the green paddy fields. In those days, the fields were more comfortable than the modest mattress inside the hut. How the children would chase each other and playing imaginary games. No strangers would scare them. The bell in the temple, azaan in the mosque and carols sung in the church would make them leap with joy.

One day, a group of vile men entered the village, taking over every pocket and divided the villagers, forcibly gutting wrong religious scriptures. It never existed. Fighting over supremacy of holy scriptures. The villagers fought among themselves while the rulers sat on the throne and smiled at their ignorance.

He feels saddened watching his paradise burn where men were tearing each other to death. It became a common sight to see men and women killing each other, huts burnt and children kidnapped. Fire and explosion wrecked the peaceful existence that was lost in translation. He couldn't recognize the paradiasical land where men and women looked with contempt at each other. Children and women running for their life in opposite directions and praying the almighty to relive them of this cursed life.

His wrinkle ridden face made a small prayer, "Lord! Save my village. Destroy everything and re-create the paradise filled with love and simplicity. Plant a new tree and let it bloom all over the place to create love and defeat hatred. Shoot the arrow of flow on those who throw bombs."

The cigarette slipped on the ground from the weak finger and the rush of wind forcefully burnt it into ashes. He lay still and motionless, in a squatted position on the ground and his face wore the grief, that took him in the paradise, that he longed for. His frail body abandoned the fight against the faces of evil and the almighty listened to his prayer, relieving him of the pain where his thought reached the dead end. 

Spread love and peace. Live life to the fullest.

With Love

Vishal

It's Diwali, sharing love and togetherness

It's Diwali!

Image credit: Google

A time to celebrate, wearing brand new clothes and lighting diya to sparkle our lives.

Miniature Diyas bought with love and folding Diwali boxes,

containing sweets and savories to share love.

Streets filled with children, innocent faces admiring fire lights and craving for mouth watering sweets.

Surprised with bundle of sweets, chocolates and gifts,

the kids faces are lit with joy.

It's a cherished Diwali.

Spreading light, beacon of joy and hope,

there is no barrier to love and spirit of togetherness.

Mithai adorning sweetness to lives,

shining Kurta Pyjama and sari,

the mass of humanity become one in color and identity.

Happy Diwali

Vishal

Blind Date: What To and not To Do!

You've been spending hours and sleepless nights chatting on Facebook and whatsapping naughty jokes, sharing sweet nothings and romantic notes.  The time is ripe to see each other in flesh. I've been on a couple of blind dates in the past during my 20s and most of the time, nothing came out of it with Hi and Bye while the last time, A gifted me a Steve Martini book and a kiss, of course, on the cheek. What to do and not to do on a blind date.

Image credit: Google

1. Time and place to meet, Your's or Mine

A was very obstinate and told me in no equal terms that she is the one who will decide when and where we will meet. The decision was her's and I only insisted that we need to meet before I move to Pune. The trick lies in making sure about the identity of the person and to ensure that you are not speaking to a perv or someone playing tricks on you. We were speaking on phone at a time where there was no FB or Whatsapp, shedding pocket money on chota recharge.

Always make sure that you meet in a place filled with people so that you are not stranded or the person acts smart with you. Honestly, I was a bit tense and can't remember what I wore, though we agreed on what and how we will look like. She had short hair and was dressed in a Kurti on denim. We entered a restaurant for Cola-the time I was drinking the beverage-and made a quick exit in her car. We kissed in the car, on her cheek, you naughties.

2.  Dress well but don't over do

I always believe that it's important to dress in what one is comfy for the first or blind date. You don't need to be jazzy or going over the top to kill. Over dressing can be an absolute no no and may scare off the other person. Keep in mind that both of you are strangers and not friends who would tolerate each other's garish clothes. It's a major put off to see someone be dressed over the top and lacking basic fashion sense. For guys or gals, simplicity works. I always believe in putting a nice tee or shirt on the denim, not those tight jeans that you would not able to sit or move your assets.

3. Keep the conversation simple

It's the first step and don't step on his or her toe on the first date itself. Being over friendly on a blind date and acting over smart to know everything, be it, first boy friend, ex-es, family and friends and sex life can make people run away from you. You will sound like a despo. It's very important not to monopolize the conversation and let the person speak as well. Keep the date short because at some point, both of you may go into silent mode and not knowing what to say.

4. Take time to be comfortable

Don't be stressed and take few minutes to settle yourself, between ordering coffee and striking the conversation. Sometimes, simple things like comment on the weather or city life may help to break the ice. Since, it's a first date, both of you may feel a bit out of place and stressed out. Just chill and be yourself, before you start speaking. You are not meeting after registering profiles on shaadi.com or some match making that you need to get hitched. Take your own time and if it works, build the relationship over time.

5. Avoid intimate, over touching gestures

It's a blind date and you can greet each other with a firm handshake, a kiss or a hug but avoid holding the person tight. It may also cause uneasiness if you constantly touch your date with hands or shoulders. It's an absolute No to go for smooch or getting intimate during the first date for it will spell doom and a recipe for disaster. Trust me, it might kill a relationship that has the chance of having a long leash of life and will, ultimately, turn out in it being a very casual affair or both of you end up being fuck buddies.

6. Recognizing each other 

It's quite easy to recognize each other when both of you are meeting for the first time. While, it is normal to describe what each other will wear and descriptions such as hair style or  height, what will happen if there is another person with the same set of description. The trick lies in one of you coming early and sitting in a particular place in a crowded cafe and whatsapping where you are sitting or standing. Always stand up, call the name before greeting the person.

7. Place to catch up

The best place to meet your blind date is in a cafe or open space where there is no hazard or being exposed to unpleasant surprises. Never ever make the mistake of going for a movie together or some crazy folks planning to meet in a hotel room. It can be very dangerous with people pretending to be someone else, hiding behind Facebook or a phone. Always be safe and enjoy the game of flirting and, of course, don't over do it.

A blind date is an amazing game of dating and catching up, sharing if both of you can hit it off. Have fun but at the same time, enjoy the blind date and trust me, it's damn fun.

Love

Vishal