2014-04-23

Bucket List 10 outta 10

It's the time where our bucket list gets lost in translation as our priorities-cum-target-cum-New year resolution (read fresh) is hitting a level of fatigue and tiredness due to growing frustration. As days and months moves fast like the local trains, we are brought to the harsh reality of life where saving a dim is like horrible sex romp and a herculean task at hand. Minor hiccups, disappointment and buried in the dumps, I feel like Uday Chopra minus biceps in Dhoom:3, a blink-and-eye non-existence special appearance in the calendar of life, bearing an uncanny ressemblence to species in danger of disappearance.
Oh! Bucket List! Bucket List! How you eluding me like that? Just January 1, I was all charged with dreams to make it reality and now,everything is disappearing out of thin air. Wait! My tribe told me that there is always light at the end of the tunnel and let me try the trick to make my very own Bucket List alive and swing in the air. Who is this idiot who invented the term Bucket List to fool me? Let me fool myself to make the list an ongoing romantic affair and not just a fling or one night stand.

1. Learn to Drive
Unkempt promises! Man in his 30s don't even know how to drive a car. Put me in the driving seat and I shall shake in fear as if some bomb has been thrust on me. Well it's me! It's a shame that I don't know how to drive a car. Kya Car-nama hai Boss! I shall learn to drive this year and it's quite a priority or so 'driving' made its way on the bucket list. Ok! I shall not be hard on myself and make it a priority to learn driving till next year at least.

2. Swimming
How to Swim against the tide?. It shall be the title of the imaginary movie or novel, bearing my foot print, that keep playing at the back of my mind. That shame No. 2, oops! Bucket List cannot be complete without aspiring to get into the freezing cold water and learn to swim my way to heaven. Now, empty promise: If I don't learn to swim in a year, I am planning to throw myself in the water, either I drown or find my way back to the shore.

3. Learn Spanish
It's a new fetish that's finding its way on the Bucket List. It's been a year that I've been toying with the idea of learning Spanish, a new and alien language for me. For all naysayers, nopes! I haven't met a hot and super sexy Spanish chick..ab mere phuti hui Kismet mein Kahan..Mera Bad Luck hi Kharab. The moment I learn and speak Spanish fluently, I gonna take a ride to Spain and play Holi a la Tomatino.

4. Mumbai
Aha! My favorite city! City bang bang! Can the Bucket List be made without the obsession to be back in Maximum City? It's Plan A, I tell you. I am not working and still, I am dying to be back in Mumbai to be a Mumbaikar forever. The trick lies in landing the new job fast, start saving and be back to Mumbai. Miracle! Miracle! Dreams! Dream! How I am hoping for the miracle to strike like lightning on my head? Peeps! Pray for me and break a coconut so that I land the job and fly to Mumbai fast.

5. Write the novel
I must bag an award for building castles in the air and I've been boring people with, 'I am writing a novel and will reach completion this year.' It's been two years now and I need a good whip on the butt to get going. I need discipline man and the Bucket List must be tired to see the old, boring song finding its way, 'The man writing the novel.' Buahhh! Lemme bury the frustration. See! I'm laughing at the self.

6. Travel the Globe
I am dying to travel the Globe, visiting Paris, London, New York and, of course, Brazil. Sad! I can't even aspire to be a wannabe Globe-trotter as my Brazil World Cup plans made since 2011 has gone to the hound. It's hounding me. How can I miss the Brazil World Cup? Sniff! Sniff! Oh! Dubai is also on the plate and how can I forget the Sheikhland, yet, sometimes back, I was making plans to relocate and have the Arabs as my neighbors, this year. See, this is Plan B. Now, I am biting my nails. Again, I forget our India! I love my India!!! See, Modi has made Varanasi a hot proposition and dying to go there and live an ascetic life for some time, and, of course, sipping Vodka on the peak of the mountains at Dharamshala.

7. Acting in a movie
Nopes! I have not reached the stage of delusion, though, it's another matter-of-factly that I am not faraway from that. I wanna act in a Hindi movie, even the much self-hated TV serials will do, like they say, Chalega! See! I love building castles in the air and even, my Bucket List is getting a kinda complex. Hey! Btw, Amitabh Bachchan became an actor in his 30s and Boman Irani became one post 40s. Okay! Chill! I know that I am neither Big B nor Boman Irani but it doesn't cost a rupee to dream big na, isn't it?! I wouldn't mind being an extra in a film and hope it should make you happy that I haven't lost my mind till now.

8. Cut smoking
If Bucket List could speak, it will laugh but chill at the same time. I know, it's not a Bucket List kinda stuff at the fag's end but, but, I've been able to cut smoking, quite drastically this year. Not, that I was determined to clean the lungs but bcoz I am facing a money crunch and. at times, don't have the money to buy my cigarettes. But, all said and done, I've cut smoking na, so, Bucket List stop laughing at me and give me a pat on the back.

9. Start the website
Yeah! New idea has just struck. Okay! Kidding! Two of my friends have proposed that I should start a SEO, something which I love doing, and earn through Google adsense. There are some web hosting that are cheaply available and even if I recover one third of the initial money, half the battle is won. Now, Bucket List must be smiling for this rather reasonable achievable target this year. Yeah! It's do-able. Here beating my Trumpet a bit, I am rather good at writing and confident that I can drive Google traffic through content that I create. I think, I can do it. Once, I get a job, I'll take a shot at it.

10. Meet Sachin and Big B
Bucket List must be honing its skills at laughing therapy now. Yes!! I wanna meet and have coffee with Sachin Tendulkar and Amitabh Bachchan? Why just them and I wanna go on a coffee date with Deepika, Parineeta, Alia, Nargis Fakhri, In the latter's case, I gotta put up with her fake accent but all is fair in love and lust. Haha! Uff!! I am finally done and Bucket List can breathe easy.

Don't take me so seriously!! I think, I was on drugs while putting up this post on Bucket List and dunno what I wrote. Was I in the coma? Before you fume, let me run away from here.
Yippie!
Vishal
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