2013-02-08

Getting back with an ex

Priya and Sheikh dated for three years. As years passed, Priya felt that she was getting choked in the relationship as Sheikh was controlling everything in her life, friends. colleagues, social life and family. One fine day, she mustered courage and called it quits and moved on with her life. One fine day, she got an unexpected call from Sheikh declaring his love for her and bragging about his new job, brand new Hondo CRV car and duplex flat at Marine Drive which he acquired for crores. He declared the flat and car for her. Priya was bemused and confused in the start but couldn't contain herself and snigger at such stupidity.
Why is it that after everything has been cleared, we can't accept that a relationship is over and some people cannot get on with their life. Speak about bruised ego! Our ego is so strong that we cannot handle the break up and we look at ways and means to get back at the one who ditched us. We often forget that we cannot possess someone and at the end of the day, we need to give the person his or her personal space and we should be ready to accept that as the individual, we are the one who led the break up in the relationship. I fail to understand why the fuck we need to control the life of the person we are dating, from her clothes, male friends, time she spend with her family and who she speaks to one phone, albeit why her fone is so busy. For fuck sake! Go and get a life. What I hate among men is the victim they portray themselves as and the obsession and the freaky obsession of controlling the life of their girl friend. You know the constant calling and check on her every now and then! Well, girls also do it at times and it sucks and I find that men are the worst jerks in that matter. I have few male friends who do not suffer from the insecure obsessive syndrome and it's basically ego. Ya! I know..I am a man and speaking like that and it is a fact that many men cannot come to terms with the fact that they have been majorly ditched.
There are many instances like that when the ex-wanna come back in the life of the person who was once part of their life and they will use all kinda tricks to get back. Emotional black mail is often used to drive the other person to madness and make him or her believe, perhaps he or she really loves me or he has changed. This is all bullshit. Personally, I feel that you are done with a person. Period. Go and get a life of your own and as it is, you can always find another person. You are just losing your time if you are on such an ego trip and by getting back, you wanna make the hurt harsh. Face it. You just cannot accept that you have been ditched and you gotta move on by keeping good memories of the person you were with.
I have also observed that some people have such emotional hang-over that they cannot bear the separation and it's is often a question of sky-rocketed expectations. While it's okay and feel bad of being rejected but refusing to go shows a lack of self-esteem and if there is a need, move away from the person for a while. Here, I mean geographical location. I can't see people begging their partner to take them back. Bear in mind that the person has already told you that it's all over and she doesn't wish to have you in her life. It's a question of his or her personal wish and one cannot be happy in such kind of strained relationship. One should not ask whether it's a moral or immoral thing to do but rather prod yourself whether it's working or better. Better, be happy with someone who find it cool and acceptable of your whimsical traits.
Hope better sense prevails.
Spread cheers N Love



1 comment:

Ash said...

You said it dude!
Totally, I just wish that my ex understands that I don't need his house, his job or his car, what I really needed was his presence and that itself was missing. The other things I can afford for myself, or for that matter why don't I marry a Bihari Goon, coz he will be able to provide much more than a house a job and a car.
I guess, to answer the primal question of ego and insufficiency of the self, it really depends on how you think of yourself as a person. Do you think you are in a relationship because it completes you essentially, (which is fine) or it pushes you further (which is fine too), what's important is you set your rules, and then you stick to them. Security cannot be your reason to stick to a person in the beginning and then it changes into emotional dependency of sorts. that's just being convenient!
My problem with my ex (apart from the fact that we belong to different continents) is that, we both needed each other for very different reasons, he needed me coz he knew he couldnt find a person like me (not boasting), (which means he was filling a void) and I needed him coz I wanted to build something with him ( I dont know what) something that lasts.
Anyway, that's all in the past! (u gotta be able to tell that to urself)
Good Post!