Crazy Things old Friends do!

 

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1. Smoke up and get an adrenaline high in the middle of the night thinking that beer is salt water whipped to perfection by the monsoon drip.

2. Indulge in long and endless whatsapp conversation till the morning harking back to the flawless school and college days like Uncle Sam and Chacha Chaudhury.

3. Pour water and paste on each other's hair and faces to scare off  the next-door- neighbor's pretending to be a white ghost parading naked only in mornings.

4. You pretend to be friends with your common foes and get them to reveal the darkest secrets about your besties which you don't lose a second to narrate. Having a good laugh about it with your chums is the best bitter sweet revenge ever.

5. The whatsapp forwards feels like reaching the elixir stage and a gentle reminder that you have never left each other. Joy unlimited makes you dance like Kung Fu Panda and wishing that you could turn the clock back in time.

6. Going on a spiritual trip assessing life and turning into overnight greying monks since you survived and thrived on Old Monk. 

7. Suddenly becoming dukhi aatma and a new version of Devdas since you cannot change the past that haunts you to death but forever friends feel like Gayatri mantra followed religiously.

8. A hug feels like glue and ghee making you stick together and forever.

9. Disagreement adults rather than consenting adults turn you into stand up comedians by laughing the lungs out and doing the monkey dance.

10. Watching FRIENDS might be passe now but scaring the shit out of each other like monsters gives a sadistic high with those bulk whatsapp forward and memes. You know how to pull pranks to scare the shit out of your chums.

11. The birthday bum that you get or give every year was so painful that every root canal reminds of the asshole friends hell bent to screw your ass in college.

12. Every peg taken alone pushes you back into a trance, surrounded by the irritating friends who mixed your drinks and gave a missed call to the ex. The besties we cultivated are unique and could be Gabbar for life turning us into emotional wrecks as we miss them every single second of life.

13. Friends are the stabilizing emotional strength in life with whom you bitch nonstop and rue how life has taken turns. You moved places,  states, countries and travelling the seas yet it feels like you are stucked forever on an imaginary desert island. Every single time a tear is shed makes you feel like a baby wearing diapers.

14. Long distance whatsapp calls, forwards and messages could push into slow motion mode, emulating Jai-Veeru and Seeta aur Geeta, the long-lost brothers and sisters lost in Kumbh Mela.

15. And you thought wearing jeans to a Pyjama party was akin to gate crashing! You've never met Ranveer Singh then! His cool dude dressing sense drives you out of place in this world.

A sprinkle of dust

A sprinkle of dust,

reclaiming my vagabond days,

wandering aimlessly on deserted streets,

at nightfall,

lost identity,

ravaged by time,

only stars and clouds are real,

i remain a pale version of myself,

charred voice,

longing for my anchor,

she’s inexistent,

imaginary lover,

bare open your heart,

embrace my soul,

tired and worn out,

fatigue,

no energy left to fight and overcome ordeals,

when this madness going to stop!

i seek answers, selfish ones!

for my happiness and mental peace,

show me the path,

alcohol is my only solace,

to run away from the world,

hiding behind the layers of emotions.

Waiting game!

Waiting game! 

wanna play!

fool yourself, 

love,

money,

call to heal and caress,

making passionate love to your soul, 

keep walking, 

conquer the many forms of spotless beauty, 

who told this lie? 

stop folding your hands? 

begging for love and money! 

empty your soul of junk thoughts,

 it’s no filter coffee,

scamper down the highway,

nameless lover is waiting under the umbrella,

soaked under the rain, 

kiss passionately facing the boulevard,

be real,

Stop waiting for love and money,

Chase them.

 

10 Things to Do on my birthday

1. Remove all notifications on social media. It feels like a zombie's statue mounted in public gaze ever ready to be whipped.

2. Avoid the sugary pasted cake for too much sweetness is injurious to the soul.

3. Chuck out the selfies. Time to go and get a life for it feels like being a narcissist admiring the self in the mirror.

4. Mind that child. I am one who refuses to age which is shit scary like hiting the head on a tree trunk and nopes, you don't wanna remind me how old I am growing.

5.  Kiss a frog. Right! I am not kidding. The prettiest girls in down are probably too young for me and the ones after me can be wearing stilettos. Hey! It's my birthday and am not buying you a red pair of long heels.

6. Waking up to a new identity and switching off the phone.I am no Alice in wonderland rediscovering just a plain calendar change to wallow in self-love or self-pity.

7. Stop acting my age! Well! What can I be? An owl, parrot or a baby. Yeah, I shall cry in the cradle and make a halo with this evil smile.

8. Hug myself. Yes! I often do that. See, self love is better than water conservation and not giving away any love to anyone other than myself.

9. Partying with my chaddi buddies and make it a hell like Santa claus memory kinda celebration. How about crashing into someone's empty bungalow at midnight and speaking pot of hashish only to be caught by cops. Birthday treat, loud singing and dancing inside jail in our supermen and superwomen chaddis. A chaddi birthday and sore bum that we shall never ever forget!

10.Congratulations for reading till the end. Now, I shall give you condoms to blow for it's not my birthday. Pull your zip and let the balloons fly in the air.

Things I did this week!

 I ain't-a dull boy. Entertainment and a zing for life happen when I least ask for them or take steps. I am Usain Bolt in reverse, except that running for my life as if a pack of wolves are unleashed on me. This writer-should I call me one?- is plainly bored with existence and fishing for stuff like the KFC burger that got deleted out of life.

1. No fat cat

I ain't-a cat snuggling on my mistress' bed. Ever heard of a balloon popping inside my body system? Battling the nerves like a mad car running out of the steam, the cholesterol result reveals an increasing spree pretty much like the shades of grey and creamy stuff. A tale of needle pricking the thumb. Bad signal. I felt like Bahubali in the middle of the night when doctar babu had to press the thumb for the juices to flow. I could have licked my own blood. A sixer! I could have been Edward Cullen without my Bell at Twilight. Time to cut the slack or trouble like in the Big Boss House. Sniff! Sniff! I am not Garfield.

2. Run Vishal Run

I am not a burglar nor I have abandoned a war zone post. I broke a record this week by going for jogging thrice a week, a first from the usual two trips. I braved the rain and got drenched. What we have to do for health! This world, I tell you. Next times, I shall break free like a bovine afflicted by madness or chase people like a famished dog.

3. Whatsapp!

Whatsapping and sharing silly forwards feel like a ritual for me that changes hands like hide-and-seek in childhood. Head you win, tail I lose! You know illusion are objects closer in the mirror than they appear. The nostalgia of train travel in childhood and images of moving train, berth list, huddling compartments, and weight machine in cartoon description brought me back to those days. I saved the images to send to some 50 to 70 odd contacts on the phone. A haha was sent back on this human creation called WhatsApp but suddenly it seems that the ghost was angry. It felt like Baba Ramdev's curse for mocking Patanjali.  My whatsapp wasn't opening and after fiddling with it, between switching on and off, it felt like angry birds died suddenly. Finally, all was good like happy ending in our movies.

4. Bacha party

The little monster in the neighborhood turned two today and I was feeling like a zombie saying No the mouth-watering fries on the table. Sweets and cakes are like the sexy girl that I cannot resist which broke my resilience. I munched on them along with tea. Indulgence looks like 'Maya' sauntering into my life and the ugly uncle mouthing on the bacha's cake. The only thing missing was a devil and decayed tooth to scare the brave child who was too busy with his cake and candle.

5. Oatmill kid

You know the Complan kid who suddenly grows taller. I am the Oatmill kid who wakes up and sleeps with it as if it's Cinderella. Oh! Cholesterol! Now, Oatmill is my lethal weapon of mass destruction to destroy cholesterol every single day. Now, who stole my grains! But, then why do I feel like Saddam and not George Bush?!

Plain vanilla chocolate love

Love is stubborn,

Love is a prayer.

 Love is non conditional,

 Love is limitless,

Love is plain vanilla chocolate,

simple and exuberant, 

Love is the spirit, 

of senses and sensuality, 

Love is a drug,

 frugal, 

extreme,

 lethal, 

Love can burn you into ashes,

saintly,

devilish,

Love is the power,

destroying souls,

coalescing them into one whole,

Who needs poison? 

Plain and simple love.

 

Mystic, crazy and devilish rain

Crazy, playful rain!

Don't you ever get tired playing cat-and-mouse?!

strumming notes,

high pitched,

shrilled voice,

mysterious shadow,

Wrecking anger,

streak of gentleness,

unleashing force,

disappearing like the mystic,

expressing various human hues,

are you for real,

or just a naughty child?

time to stop, will you?

stop smiling at my misery,

I long for your sight,

Yet you seem like an uninvited ghost,

aha! now you listen to me!

devilish force,

I bow to your might!

O! Rain! Force of fury,

Go and chase your friends,

you are no sensual woman,

tormenting my sense,

got no interest to serenade you,

and swaying to your tune, 

 

Your day shall come! O' ghoul

Your time shall come one day, 

you having a dervish time, 

ripping apart a gentle soul, 

laugh all you want at her last voyage, 

destiny is wicked, 

your evil mind will rot in hell, 

When your innocent children shall helplessly watch at your plight, 

for you are not sparing her memory and soul, 

today her children are suffering, 

their tears and grief, 

you shall not be spared, 

doomsday will strike on you, 

whatever goes around come back,

 karma is your bitch that hurts, 

the same that you take pride in, 

when this day comes, 

we shall watch for you didn’t think a second,

you possessed soul,

face of a ghoul.  

Keep faith

Vishal

 

Tenderness and lusty hearts

Enchantress, 

Sensual gaze, 

Flirting with a brush stroke of dust, 

longing for luscious lip, 

stroke play of earth meeting orbit,

tipping point,

slither of bosoms,

gentle hand stroking flawless surface, 

wild current rushing down the spine, 

Your easy gaze and abandon, 

knocked me off the perch,

Seductive laughter, 

intense eyes,

filling the empty soul,

flared intensity,

our gaze met,

barren souls,

 come and play,

delete the emptiness,

harvest my heart with love and lust,

ignite the tenderness of existence,

with human needs,

no foreplay,

plain individuality,

no sin is too big for men and women.