Leaves of desire

Leaves whirling in the air,

speck of ruffled windy dust,

 muddy patch filled with palm-shaped green, yellow and orange,

the old season fades away like a raw night consumed,

a freshly dappled sun,

quenching desires,

lust flying to find a home,

a creamy kiss,

parched lips,

tongues' saliva,

running deep,

covering circles,

steamy tea,

mind roiled into wild fantasy,

lift the veil,

burying our deepest dark secrets,


of clothes and mind,

liberate the soul,

roiled in steam,

the word calls moral,

for it knows no clutter or chains.

Fiction: Only if...

The mind drifted to the past. A city in ruins. Lives shattered. A palace adorned with gold, curvature forming semi-circles that once stood magnificently crumbled into ashes.

A lehenga flew like curtains draped on this beautiful woman and as she sashayed inside the palace, the gold-plated and embroidered silk dress became limitless to protect her flawless skin and dignity.

If only I could muster the courage to tell her how beautiful and divine she looked! But, then I was the poor son of a poor peasant belonging to the backward class who couldn’t dare to dream of love and kissing her flawless lip. A sin I would have committed. She smiled sheepishly and walked gracefully inside, waving bye to me. The princess sat like a Goddess disappeared inside the kingdom. I became mad that day. After all, love is not for paupers like me.

The night thunder blazed through the sky, the clouds wore a tint of dark and rain lashed everywhere, droplet fell on my skin and palm. The heavy rain wiped my tears as I saw the princess serenaded by the King’s son. It was a grand alliance. The princess couldn’t recognize my tears coalesced into the water. The fury of the rains like the angst and bruise of a broken heart refused to be cowed by the stream of tears, I sought refuge in the cheap liquor sitting all drenched, cursing my life, destiny and tragedy of being alive. Death would have been my liberation. I would avenge from destiny and destroy wealth accumulated at our cost, caste and poverty. They shall not mock the poor anymore. 

Love shall wield the power of a devil. Love shall wreck havoc on them against us. Oppose love and you shall burn in hell. Love will be the new religion, of closure and hell.

The decision was taken. The storm shall never pass! A man hurt in love has just lost his sanity and the liquor turned me into a one-man bruised mob, zigzagging in the dark night, gyrated in the dance of anger and stood in front of the mighty palace. The rain has stopped. I promised that no single tear would be shed and the finger flicked the matchstick to light the fire. All the riches in the world were brought down, erased and turn into ashes. If only I could tell the princess! The intense and passionate love that ravaged a heart to death. Only if!

Fiction: The boy and the cream roll

 The small, dingy shop stood rooted as a lone sight between the paddy, green field and muddy cultivation in the faraway outskirt town cut off from the humdrum of life. A barely visible but elongated trench found its way and covered by thick, long grasses that could be only visible by sharp eyes as farmers and cultivators routinely plodded their tiring soles.

A little boy walked barefoot battling the scorching sun on days and on a rainy morning with the water hitting the face like arrows to stand for hours in front of the shop.  He wore a wry expression and eyes bobbed at the cheap pastry and samoosa but never asked the shop owner for a single piece of the fried, thick dough coated with white cream. The black eyes furtively scanned the plowed fields and as luck would have it, a truck carrying horde of workers decked in lungi sitting atop the huge gunny sack screeched on the mud and dust sprinkling on the face of the little boy. He never wiped his face and was elated with joy. The goodies lying in the shop and flies hovering above them occupied his tiny mind.  Perhaps, poverty and a growling stomach taught him never to approach the shop owner or the thought of running away with a delicacy to crave the stomach to bliss eluded him. 

One sunny afternoon, the eyes of the tiny boy gleamed at the white buffalo, slowly trotting its way in the far away field, surrounded by green leaves and trees. A cheap salwar kameez was thrown in the stable where the horse tied inside looked at the cloth and struggling to tear it apart with the hock. A rough hand flitted past the white and soiled bra, hands caressing and cupped his mouth within an inch of the female boob.  Moaning was lost to the world of cultivation and the wind wafting in intermittent burst. 

The man cupped his lip and smacked the young village women on her mouth. She loosened the string on his pajama and hand pressed beneath the cloth. He became hard inside and pushed inside her, caressing the unchartered zone with his finger. She slouched on the grass, eyes open and mouth closed, longing for more as he penetrated her and hands tightly held to the surface with her body unmoved. She felt the force inside. 

The fair village bell moaned with pleasure, eyes wearing a stillness and calmness, savoring the moment and feeling delicious as her long nails scratched his stiff skin on the back.  She quickly wrapped her salwar and the man quickly pulled his pajama suit, walking at a looming distance to not raise suspicion on the vast field. The young boy smiled and eyes darted in their direction as they sprinted towards the road.  

The couple walked past the teen, who wore dark patch under his eyes and the girl brusquely stopped, pulling something beneath her pallu. The little boy grabbed the cream roll and crunched the top of the cake with his teeth, winked at her. He ran away as fast as he could on his naked feet, leaving the couple at a looming distance who disappeared in the truck pocked with field workers.

love, romance, lust...unplugging emotions

Seeking love in unlikeliest places,

 mountains,

 icy cold oceans, 

dark alleys, 

abyss, 

of sensuality and lust, 

shades of longing, 

vagaries of emotions, 

flesh and windy breeze, 

seekers that we are, 

never shy for adrenaline rush, 

good, bad and grey, 

flung by the storm of intensity, 

love is just a name, 

Darwinian in outlook, 

quench our thirst and needs, 

don’t unplug the emotions and sensual urges,

 a need is a need, 

pleasure cannot be denied, 

call it love, romance or lust, 

explore it like the mountain climb.

The dating checklist

Can't live with and without it? Dating. love and romance humanize us, unlike robots, to breath free air, kissing, lust and sex. Go beyond the realities of body and heart needs.  Revise your dating list. OK! Check! Groceries, condom, kinky sex and Tinder and kiss on the first date. Ain't just kidding and time to stop being like box office pundits' verdict on a movie every Friday. See, you are not going to spend the rest of your life with a date and why not be more flexible in getting to explore the person rather than discarding them on the first meeting. Here it goes:

1. He may just be admiring your gold pendent not your boobs hiding behind the white shirt unless he is behaving like a creepy despo. See, you got a valid reason and would be a sensible move to chuck him out of his eyes is staring.

2. He or she is on Tinder or Shaadi dot com. It's perfectly alright to be checking different and prospective profiles, not that this person sitting right in front of you over coffee, is already in a relationship with you. Stop pretending they are cheating on you.

3. Real life is not the mushy romance that Chetan Bhagat writes or candy floss romance where everything gotta be perfect with the knight in shining armor riding on a horse in the Swiss Alpes or the flawless beauty will flail her way like an angel dressed in white.

Image credit: Google/ https://thoughtcatalog.com/jennifer-meade/2018/02/heres-what-kind-of-boyfriend-you-are-based-on-your-birth-month/

4. Don't judge him or her by the movie or books genre they read. Honestly, that's daft and looks like you shooting for the moon. Be grounded and chill for it's an hour coffee date, where you can be at ease with each other, having a slow and calm conversation, like breezy sex. What matters is the comfort level your date brings on the table.

5. One thing about first date is that the person shouldn't monopolize the conversation but gives you a certain space to express your opinion, disagree respectfully be it politics, arts or sex. The person mustn't shunt or cut you short but calmly listen to what you have to say. It's a non-negotiable or else run as fast as you can and you may still poison them.

6. Appearances or clothes may just be an illusion to fool the eyes for it can be borrowed from a rich friend. Observe the hands of your prospective's date, eyes and gestures which may be a favorite activity to indulge on day two, day three and day four before you plunge ahead or run away. You may just treat it as time pass for remember there are lots of fish in the pond.

7. A non-compromising checklist is that my date should be well read, passionate about life, little bit crazy ever ready to experiment, harboring non-prejudices against humans of different races or nationalities. The main thing is to gel with the person even if it means a fling or non-commital kinda thing to chill together.

8. Keep your options open and look around for prospective dates since there is no sin in meeting different people with whom you can hit the ground. I am not advocating for multiple dating but it's always good to get to know different people before you can make a choice.

9. Take it slow and don't be too enthusiastic or over friendly with your date for there are many chances that they may run away. No one wants someone who is too friendly on the first meeting and play it slow, be a trusted friend and with whom the other person can feel at ease.

10. It's a date. You don't need to buy the latest gizmos or dress to impress for a tee on a blue denims will do for the dude and babe, just put this short skirt or funky denim or torn jeans or this white shirt you've been dying to. Just be yourself, wear casual comfort and daring at the same time for noone will fucking judge you.

No world for Introverts! Wanna bet!

Wanna bet on us. Introverts that we are and society have already decided that we are on a forever no talking, numb and dumb mode communicating only in sign language. Sorry to disappoint you. As an introvert, I don't feel the need to compete with the entire world to be cool, talkative and thrive on being an attention seeker to impress the universe. No! I don't feel the need to make an effort in monopolizing conversation or telling tales to the world for the interesting stuff are kept for close friends. It's not that as an introvert, I don't speak at all but believe in being choosy about the people to spend time with. As it is, there are way more important things to do rather than pushing myself as if it's a rat race in speaking to the world, being overtly friendly to strangers or striking over the top conversations.

There are some inherent traits and yes, it's about ME, MYSELF which I don't advertise to the world at Prime Time or between news break as if I am a TV channel but something many introverts would relate to.

1. Keep things personal

I like it that way to keep things very personal be it a birthday, crushes or personal friends since don't feel the need to paint the town red. My break up doesn't need to be told on social media like many do and it's something to be dissected among real close friends. As a person, I am very private when it comes to my buddies or relationships which the whole world don't need to know for being discreet gives me the much needed mental sanity.

2. Mystery

There is something very intriguing, complex and mysterious about us. Get to know us better and give me the time to warm up slowly to you, you won't find a more talkative or prankster like me. The mysterious side or if you want split personality makes me an out-of-the-world person that would not only make you go mad and lose your sleep, the moment you know me better. You can also fall in love with me.

3. Giver

Being an introvert, I believe in giving a lot to people to people, even strangers for that matter, going  out of the way to shower love without expecting anything in return. Yes, I have lost a lot in my personal equation with people or relationships where people don't return the love. It hurts and gives huge pain but learned to love and give to people without expectations. Over the years, it has become a personal trait that I can't go against. Be with an introvert and the person will sprinkle your universe by giving immense free love. As it is, don't we celebrate the joy of giving.

4. No shy observer

There is one quality about introverts is that we observe people and situation a lot that makes us score high with emotional intelligence. You will get the best advice from us introverts who are often over-thinkers, not necessarily a bright human trait but we love to assess the situation, exploring every corner to come with the best advice.

5. Weirdos

Yes, we are weirdos who find it tough to fit in a group or society for we passionately go against established norms. Rules are not for us and we hate to fit in a box on what is right or wrong, established by society. We are a bizarre lot who goes against the crowd to make our own nest, to live in, far removed from the world.

6. A rockstar world

The last scene in Imtiaz Ali's Rockstar is perhaps the most sensitive understanding of introverts where the two characters create their own world with self-defined rules that has no place for outsiders. One of the best ode to introverts, Rockstar mirror this psyche of living in dreams and one's imagination of a perfect world, alien to the conservative ways of normal. We daydream 99 percent of the time of how the world and its populace should behave like, designing conflict beautifully that makes us sensitive and hyper-creative souls.

My Gratitude List

Trying to learn new things to always be happy and unlearn how to remove the negativity inside the soul and mind, pretty much like throwing out junk food out of the system is an art many have perfected over the years. Being grateful for the smallest and extraordinary are the small wonders to nurture and treasure over time, stop whining about what we lack, cherishing the beauty, relationships or most infinite luxuries. Here sharing a gratitude list.

1. The ability to find more inner peace every single day and performing regular yoga that has made me more stable as a person.

2. A constant search for happiness and finding it in the unlikeliest place through the kindness of strangers, random joy that never cease to surprise me time and again.

3. The friends who means the world to me and connected again through WhatsApp that makes it feel like we never left each other and no matter how far away, separated by the ocean.

4. I am alive and kicking, loved and cherished meaning that Mom, no matter how much she may shout, but painstakingly make food for me every day and her words of wisdom. She never stops surprising me with the bun that I love eating. Or, this random call from a friend sensing nothing is wrong and keep pushing me to take the next big step.

5. The scotch whiskey or the constant trip to the coffee shop that I can afford in comparison to a few years ago with no job and being broke.

6.  I am youthful in heart, mind and soul, not ailing from maladies that make me indulge in healthy flirting from time to time with girls. Keep getting the compliment about being in my late 20s which I am not and haven't changed at all. I look the same, everyone keeps telling me.

7. The ability to make silly jokes or one-liners that works wonderfully on the blog or social media.

8. I am able to write and churn creative stuff which means the fire to weave words hasn't been lost, though the writing is lagging since a while. The only thing is the need to pull my socks to be more regular with fiction and creative stuff.

9. The never dying childlike enthusiasm, wildest imagination and my killer memory that has the ability to remember every single detail lost in translation over the past 10 or 15 years.

10.  An ability to keep pushing myself and standing on the edge's cliff to make things happen as long as good health wears strong on me.

Keep the faith