Satire: Luv Shuv 100 crore V-Day

A pataka celebration with flowers, red roses, chocolates and lovey dovey wishes unfurled on social media, with couples professing love for each other this February. Jeena Marna Tere Sang and the next Valentine, humming Mein Tera Dushman Dushman Tu Mera. The Valentine Day that came with all shor in the city and dollops of sharaba, with couples shouting on rooftops on how much they love each other till death do them rather than us apart.

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The social media walls flooded with pyar wale love messages painting the city a rosy red and tweets that could have mistaken V-Day as the world orgasm day. So much love that Dilli's odd and even formula would have made a grand come back in style. Isse kehte hai pyar! I almost became a Pappu that failed in love to happily munch Cadburi, nursing the 'imaginary break-ups' I never had. It's all in the mind, isn't it?! Our RaGa didn't say poverty is a state of mind!

It's the day to avoid social media with soo much gun totting Pyar Vyar, Ishqaon dishkaon that gave us the impression there is no place for war, rudeness or meanness. The folks, who ek dum healthy would soon get themselves tested for diabetes with so much saccharine and sweet romance. Sugar would not kill us but declared love would on Valentine Day. Shoppers could be tempted to abandon selling sweets but only love flowing in the air. 

The Ishqwala love of bhaiya-ji aur Pinki who would never get an average date are filled with hope to get their Badrinath ki dulha aur dulhaniya, gyrating to Tamma Tamma Loge in quest of love. If tis not reason enough, Aditya Chopra would write his next candy floss romance minus Befikre love which will be released next Valentine on social media. The dude will laugh all the way to the social media bank and if it is to be believed, Valentine is the stuff 100 crores business is made of. Come and sell love.

Our Doodhwala turned into Phoolwala bhaiya for the day and made a killing with his roses grabbed and sold like hot Jalebi with fastest fingers first as if downloading Sunny Leone semi-clad wallpapers. Our Cadburi wala got a complex with so much love that their Kuch Meetha ho jaye campaign went for a toss. Now, who wants chocolate with so much love flung in the air this Valentine Day. A tale of phool beating Cadburi to death?

It's love free of worm. Put all the scientific testing of chocolate ridden worm aside for Valentine Day has won the battle of titans. Come and beat that. Who needs a sweet recovery from crisis when itna luv shuv can do the trick? Singles like me can only sit at home and eat worms at night when we don't have a date to flout on social media....muchkin, Baby! I love you so much!! At least, I don't do love pollution on social media with selfie, velfie and belfie, posting hundreds smoochie, cuddling pics on Instagram.

Sniff! Sniff! I should cry and be Garfield incarnate on Valentine for not having a date to cuddle and snuggle to with wine, roses and V-shaped goodies and cards. Too much ho gaya yaar on Valentine with this showering of love for the world to see as if it's Modi's 56-inch chest thumping and popping ladoo on election victory. Guess, that would kill Love Jihad.


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