2014-02-25

Divorcing over Sushi: EpIilogue

    Divorcing over Sushi: Episode 18
     Epilogue

Love, break up, divorce not meant to be and sizzling sex. I am sipping the thick Capuccino at Barista  and laughing at the recent turn of events in my life. I wonder whether everything was worth it, accident and how I made my guy, younger than me cry and begging for my love and, of course, sex. He thinks I drive him wild on bed. Am I such a naughty girl? I wonder. He is stupid, just a child who refuses to grow up and I feel like mothering him at times. We call it love. Yeah! Both of us gorge on sushi and Punjabi with cream coffee as topping when we die to have sex. 
You've never met me, I bet! This idiot must be ranting about me, yapping on the dysfunctionality in my personality. Yeah! Right! He calls me Sush, Sushmi, often equating my name to the Sushi that I love eating as if I am some dish. I am Sushmita, the wife of my cute but stupid husband who has been going on and on how I have a lose screw in my head, my anger and our hot sex life. Trust me! I do not fit the description Adi has painted but quite so. Or, am I?
Adi is a man I always wanted to kill or scare the shit off him when I met him for the first time. I was aghast when he thrust his head and kissed me for the first time. Here, was the man who introduces jimself by trying to smooch me and immediately, the picture of a sex obsessed man popped in my head. As I look back, I laugh at ourselves who were hell bent on divorcing, forking out a huge 50k for some stupid advice from a suave lawyer. That too, divorcing over sushi. Adi!! I so wanted to torture him in all possible senses, emotionally, sexually and psychologically. This guy is such a nutcase, I tell you! The biggest miser one earth since he never gave back part of the money which we agreed to share for paying the lawyer.
We renewed our marriage vow in Goa last night. There were no parents, no irritating relatives, just the two of us. We felt so complete being with each other and we married in the pure Goa fashion in front of the priest at Marina Beach. We kissed on the lips. I melted into his arms. We partied that night and what a terrible dancer, Adi is. He just can't match my steps. But, I love him. He is so cute and adorable.
We were the odd couple. Imagine, sitting in the hotel room and watching Koffee with Karan and later, Kuch Kuch Hota Hai on TV. We can be weird as a couple. Did I tell you that we ordered Sushi and Punjabi Thali which we smeared on each other's face? That was our renewed marriage vow.
We made love that night as we rediscovered each other. We kissed lightly as I thrust myself in his arms, whispering in his ears, "I'm all yours baby." I pushed my lips into his and we started smooching furiously, exploring our bodies voraciously and going down in areas which we never dare to explore. It was the best sex we ever had, totally free and letting our hair down.
It was the middle of the night and he dragged me inside the swimming pool. We kissed passionately and it was serene but passionate in the wee hours of the night where we couldn't spot anybody by the side of the pool. We were lying naked in the pool, exploring each other's body again and again. I leaned my head on his shoulder as he held me by my waist. It was not erotic or sexual but the best romantic gateway in Goa. We promised to renew our marriage vow every year in Goa
I left my job after we reached Mumbai and started my content website as a subsidiary to Adi's PR firm. Who says husband and wife can't work together. Of course, they can. We did it.

The End
Lotsa Love
Vishal

2014-02-19

Divorcing Over Sushi: Episode 17

I held her hands as she was lying on the bed, trying to move. "Just stay still or else..relax babe," I warned. She smiled in exasperation and gave me a bewildered look, telling how come you are threatening. I smiled and said, "Listen! You've been shouting at me always and this time, I will do all the talking and you will listen. At least, I must make up of the opportunities of you lying on bed and you can't even chase me or shout. I call it sweet revenge."
"Adi! I wish I could kill you right now," she said playfully, not before writhing in pain, "Ouch!"
"Is it hurting?"
"My back and right hand," she complained.
I got up and placed the pillow beneath her head which I caressed, "You'll be okay. The charming doc told me you are a fighter."
"That I am," she proudly announced.
Sushmi asked, "Is hospital such a bad place to discuss about our future..I mean our love story and your famous proposal..remember how you bent on your knees and forcefully kissed your married wife in the pub.
I became slightly shy, "By the way, we married in unique fashion, almost divorced over sushi and you didn't complete the I lo...till you bumped into the car. I heard the car has been crushed."
"Shut up, you bloody moron Adi," she almost shrieked into laughter.
We held our palms together and leaned closer to her. I kissed her on her forehead, neck and lips. "I am making a declaration. Your love has made me high. Who needs alcohol yaar? I love you Sushmi and will always do. I know! I know! I hate Sushi but for you, I will sacrifice thousands of Sushi plates. Remember, I gobbled half the plate in Lonavla and once in a while, we will eat from the same plate. We were stupid for plotting our divorce that will never happen. I wanna make babies with you and when they grow up to be our age, you will dress up in the sexiest black short skirt and we will party like crazy. I love you, Sush and will always do."
Tears were rolling down her cheeks and she was laughing at the same time. I couldn't make out what it was. She said, "You don't need to munch on Sushi to make me happy and I can also make effort to eat Veg Thali that you love. I was eating your favorite Punjabi food secretly. I love you, Adi and I have always been in love with you. Let's take a second vow of marriage and who says love is not made in heaven. Our love is the biggest proof that we are couple made in heaven."
We held hands like teenagers in the air-conditioned hospital room and looked into each others' eyes. We were in love and, both of us know, that the spark is not going to die. All it took was an accident which made us realize how much we love each other, not over Sushi.

2014-02-18

Divorcing Over Sushi: Episode 16

I almost yelled at the irritating security guard who would not let me park the car inside the hospital. I was gaping for breath and shouting frantically, "I need to rush inside the hospital and I implore you to let me go..Okay! Do whatever you want and I don't fucking care." We almost came to blows when Karan intervened, "Dude! Chill! Let me park the car." He shouted at me, "Now, run towards the hospital."
I was running like a mad man inside the hospital and my heart was beating frantically. I didn't care as shoved aside the hospital attendant, fell down and got up to sprint way towards the operation theater at Bombay Hospital. I saw Mom and Dad consoling Sushi's parents. They were crying like children.
I stood in front of the lobby outside the hospital and was clueless how my life is evolving at 360 degrees. I couldn't what was happening when I saw two nurses holding the oxygen bottle as the mask was tied to her face. I froze on seeing Sushmi's eye brows and black patch on her face. I was in a state of shock as Karan held my hand. I run along with the troller and held Sushmi's hands tightly towards the OT.
I was stopped in my track by the lady doctor who stood in my way. "I am sorrry, I cannot let you in. It's an operation theater," She almost shouted. I pleaded, "Please! She is my wife." Pat came her answer, "Sorry, young man. I understand and we are doing everything to save her." The door was shut on my nose. I sat down on the floor and looked at Karan. We both knew what I was thinking.
"What did the doctor just said? They are doing everything to save. How serious is she? Does that mean I will lose her?", questions were raging in my mind. Karan walked towards me and we hugged tightly. I was crying. I didn't speak to our parents and they knew that I need my space at this point of time.
*****************************************************************************
I woke up at almost 2 p.m in Karan's room and saw 12 missed calls from Sushi who wanted to check on me. Karan came in the room and made me a cup of coffee and smiled, "Relax! Dude! Sushmita called you several times and I didn't want to disturb your sleep. By the way, she told me to take care of you." Karan winked to me, "Call her back."
I called her few times but she cut my phone. I was agitated, thinking why the fuck she was being so weird and wonder whether it's because of my love declaration yesterday. The phone beeped and I skipped a heart beat as a message from Sushi flashed on the phone 'hey!!!! Hope you slept well..after yest'day confession, we gotta meet and talk. Let's catch up 2nite. I'll let you after m done. Cya n kisses."
I was relieved and went back to hit the sack as I was suffering from a very bad hang over. I woke up in horror owing to someone kicking me as I was pleading for the devils to spare my life and begging them that I will leave the city for good. I was surrounded by the saffron brigade and my crime, holding a red rose in my hand. I only woke up to see my anti-sleep activist, Karan hitting me on the ass and pouring water on my face, "Wake up, chutiya," he was laughing. I got up from the bed, mildly awake to protest, "Dude! What the fuck? Are you so desperate to get laid or what?"
Karan was amused and showed me the time, it's 5 p.m dude. I almost jumped on my feet and yelled, "Fuck! I am dead and Sushmi will screw me." Karan drove me to Bandra and after battling the traffic and pleading with Sush, resorting to the usual lies, we've been stuck in the mad traffic for almost two hours, I managed to get away from Sushmi's pissed off sms-es. Finally, we reached Bandra and Sushmi buzzed. She berated me, "You guys, in particular, You! You can never be on time and anyway, I am reaching in five minutes." I can hear the honking of cars, rickshaws in the maddening traffic as Sushmi was speaking to me on phone.
"By the way, you got me confused on your famous declaration of love. I bet, you don't remember what you did or said yesterday," she teased.
I remained non-plussed for a while and protested, "Babe! I swear and I remember what I told you. Now, please don't make me say things in front of this dork Karan who is driving the car." Karan almost burned my hand with the cigarette butt and yelling, 'Chutiya.'
"Listen! I can't wait and if you really love me, please repeat," Sushmi was adamant.
I hesitated and said, "I love you, Sushmi. I promise to compromise and love the Sushi back since it complement your name. Anything for Sushi."
This moron Karan was laughing and making faces. clearly expressing, "You are condemned now. Happy Sushi."
Sushi spoke in a soothing voice, "Adi! Come fast!!! I can't wait..I Lo............"
I heard a loud banging, blaring honking of cars and screeching of vehicles. Bang!!! I could hear Sushmi yelling and calling my voice, "Adi!" It was terrible and she shouted my name whole-heartedly. All of a sudden, she went silent. I looked at Karan in shock as I keep calling Sush! Sushmi! Sushmita! Is everything okay?"
Karan tried calling on her number but there was no response. He swerved the car and we headed towards Bandra station where we were supposed to meet. As we were driving, I received a call from her number and I breathed easy. I was breathless and sweating. A male voice spoke in a husky voice, "Hi, I am calling from the lady's phone and, apparently, she was speaking to you at the time the accident happened."
"Accident," I yelled.
The male voice said, "It's quite serious and we are taking her to Bombay Hospital at Churchgate. Don't worry and inform her family. Please come there straight."
Karan dashed his way and broke traffic signals to finally reach Bombay Hospital through Marine Drive at 6 p.m. I, myself, don't know how Karan drove recklessly to sashay from Bandra to Churchgate in less than 40 minutes to storm its way inside the parking at Bombay Hospital.
********************************************************************
We slept at the hospital for six hours and Karan stayed with me throughout the night. I convinced the parents and in-laws to get back home and we were in for a very long ordeal as I would try to peep through the window inside the operation theater. I couldn't see anything. Karan told me, "Don't worry! She'll be fine." The lady doctor came in and she came to me, gently stroking my head, "Don't worry young man. We are doing everything and she'll be fine." I nodded and almost lost all hope. We waited at the hospital till the evening and I didn't noticed our parents who were sitting on the bench. The doctor came out of the operation theater after 14 hours and removed the scrub cap. She looks battered and was sweating profusely.
She wore a tiring smile and announced proudly, "It was one of the toughest surgery I performed. But, Sushmita is a strong willed girl and she is saved." The kind doctor looked at me and smile, "You can go and meet your wife. She is asking for you." I dashed inside as our parents followed me. But, the doctor spoke in an authoritative voice, "Please, one person at a time. The patient has not fully recovered and right now, she needs her husband by her side. I walked in and saw her lying on bed, dressed in a green scrub. She wore bandages on her head and right hand.
I walked slowly towards the bed and she gave me a sheepish smile. She spoke with difficulty, "I am still alive and you will not get a divorce." I wanted to kill her but refrained. I nodded and smiled back. 

2014-02-02

Divorcing Over Sushi: Episode 15

We sashayed our way inside Olive, brimming with a frenzied crowd high on alcohol, flaunting their assets, smooching as if there is no tomorrow and banging their bodies, thumping their chest and feet louder and louder. The nerve wracking music is getting on my head. Gosh! How much I hate parties now? Yet, there was a time where I danced and got intimate with women in the same place in Bandra. Olive became my second home where I drank like fish and some stranger showed me the way. Yes! It was a woman and, now, she is my life. We indulged in intimacy and have the best sex. It's ironical how we were plotting for divorce till I feel head over heels in love with her. Now, she is intent on finding me a chick and she wanna break free from me.
Now, this music is really getting to me and I realize how I hate crowded parties now. I wonder why do people like me love doing somersault in life. We finally found a place to sit and ordered Vodka. Sushmita was taken aback and asked, "What the fuck, dude? No whisky..Vodka!!!!!!
I didn't want to react to her observation of the change in me and I was sure that she thought I have transformed into some effeminate creature. I had to reply and just blurted out, "Feel like having Vodka. Don't wanna make you feel alone and sad."
"Hahha..so funny."
I take a sip of Vodka with Orange and lit a cigarette. Sushmita got up and took her handset out of the bag. Mrs or soon-to-be-Miss-again started speaking, "Hey!! Ya!! M inside Olive, where are you and yeah, come..I mean, we are inside."
I often wonder why the fuck people need to shout on the phone inside a loud night club. Can't they send sms or go out to speak? I just hate it when people shout on the phone and it reaches my ear. I was getting tensed since this wifey of mine will either thrust me towards hitting on some unknown women or fix me up with someone. I'll prefer the second option since I don't want to be shoved by some boy-friend of a woman who will think I'm lusting on. The irony is I am not a wild stallion who just broke up with the wife or girl friend. But, Sushmita is Sushmita. Yes, when I get irritated, I call her Sushmita not Sush, Sushi or Sushmi!!!
Sushmita came back and was accompanied by a tall and fair girl. I was like, what she's up to? Sushmita introduced me to Shivangi, telling she's her office mate and winked her right eye. I got the signal but pretended not to. Sushmita hissed in my ears, "Dude! What are you waiting for? Drag her on the dance floor." The three of us went on the dance floor and Sushmita make some tiny steps and slowly moved away from me. I could spot her dancing with a tall and handsome dude. Man! I was getting jealous!
Shivangi leaned towards me, "So! You like parties and all?"
I was like, "Umm! Sometimes, not really a party person. I mean, I used to..find parties pretty boring."
She chiped in, "Me too! Sushmita coaxed me to come and looks like you are guys are very close."
I was about to say, "She's me.."
Shivangi interrupted me, "I know cousin. She told me both of you grow up together."
What, cousin and grow up together. What this woman is up-to and why the fuck she hide the fact that we are husband and wife. Wow! I was amazed at her white lie and this woman should have been a woman. Imagine two cousins having an incest kinda relationship in front of the eyes of society.
Shivangi quizzed me, "Dude! What you into?"
I replied like a school boy, "I handle PR accounts for clients."
She almost jumped on her feet, "Superb! I find guys into PR quite hot and sexy."
Now, she was hitting on me.
The three of us were drunk and was worried how the fuck I can drop Shivangi home and don't want to end up in her house. Sushmita's cousin was coming to pick her up. Sushmita quips, "Shivangi! Do you want Adi to drop you?" 
Shivangi stupidly said, "Hmm..no someone coming to pick me up. But, I don't mind taking his number."
Shivangi left after a while and my dear wife teased, "So, dude, how is she?"
"Boring! I said."
Adi! It's now or never, my heart told me. I shouted in her ear, listen I wanna tell you something. We moved away in some corner outside Olive and held her hand. She looked at me with a, What? I smooched her but she pushed me away. "Dude! What are you doing?"
I draw her back towards me and start kissing her on the neck, again kissing her. She melted in my arms as we held to each other closer, as I kissed her bare shoulder, ear and reached her mouth. Finally, she pushed me away.
I bend on my knees, "Sushmi! I really love you. I have realized how much I need you in my life. I know, I am drunk. Yeah! I hate the Sushi that you love to eat. But, I will compromise. Let's fall in love again. Delve in my heart and feel how much I love you. It's cheesy but I cannot live without you." Tears rolled down her cheeks. She was crest fallen.
Her phone started buzzing and she listened to the voice at the other end. She leaned towards me and planted a kiss on my cheek, "Listen! They have reached and tomorrow, will call you. We need to talk. But, I am worried how will you reach home. Do you want us to drop you at Karan's place?"
I stammered, "N-o, I c-a-n h-o-l-d m-y -a-l-c-o-h-o-l...."
"Ok! Make sure you buzz me when you reach," she looks worried.
Sushmi walks away from me. I wanted to jump with joy and yell, 'Yes! I did it! Sushmi, I love you.'


2014-02-01

Divorcing over Sushi: Episode 14

"So, you wanna us to speak to some other lawyers just for the heck of it?", She asked, lying on bed.
"I'm ok as long as you wanna spend some grands on some lawyer-liar advice on divorcing over sushi," I retorted, taken aback by her fixation for divorce. I wanted to stop the divorce thing at any cost and how do I go in remove the ghost surrounding her obsession. Am I treading on un-chartered path?, I wondered.
Sushmita was teasing me and she always do that. "Or! Is it that you no longer want a divorce or has accepted defeat by bowing down to Sushi?", She mused. 
I was taken aback by her remark and amazed how she just hit the right nail by teasing me. Wow! I am amazed and she just said it. Holy grains of truth!!!
Sushmita added, "Don't worry. I assure you that I won't ask for alimony and no ugly fight in court. Baby! Your truth shall not be uncovered in court, bad in bed or impotency."
I protested, "What yaar? Impotent, bad in bed."
She giggled and smiled wickedly. Her infectious but wicked smile scares me to death for I know that she is plotting something. I bated with breath and asked, "Ok! Tell me what do you have in mind?"
"Arre! Nothing! What make you think so?" She smiled.
I was getting restless and said, "Stop pretending. Listen! When you show your devilish grin, I know that you must be up-to something. So would you care to spell it out?"
She sat on the bed to elaborate the plan. "See! We've stayed together for years and it's normal for us to miss each other the day we are not together. So, I have decided not to miss you."
"I am already missing you," I let it off. It was a slip of the tongue.
"So cute. Mister is already missing me. See! Let's party tonight. I will choose a chick and, if you like her, you hit on her and, perhaps, you can ask for a date."
I was confused at first but, realized, that Sushmi has already made plans and it's pointless arguing with her. I asked, "So am I expected to find you a man?"
"Please don't? I can do it myself just make sure no fucktard misbehave with me. Remember, we are still a married couple, I mean, legally speaking," She ordered.
I nodded. Gosh! How am I going to convince this women. Sometimes, I feel that I will go crazy with her some day. I went inside the attached bathroom for a quick shower and, eventually, get ready for office.
I came out of the bathroom and Sushmita was staring at me. She gasped at me, "Dude! If you want to, you can look handsome in your formal attire. Who needs to look at guys outside when I have one at home."
I feigned her compliments and said, "It's just that I have a meeting with a very important client. It's five lakh deal and we want to handle his account for two years."
"Ok! Make sure you meet me at Infinity Mall and, from there, we will drive to Olive. By the way, best of luck with the client."
As I walked out of the door, I pecked her on the cheek and said, "I love You."
She was too shocked to react and started at me. I waved at her with a funny face and dashed out of the apartment like a school boy.